For the past three years I've been a heroin addict. About a year and a half ago I was thrown out of my parents' house because they found my gear. They sold all my records to help pay for my treatment, but after I found out where they got the money I told them, "Apparently unconditional love has its price." They tried to tell me it was for the better. I've been bumming around from friend's house to friend's house mooching what I can. It's a hard knock life, but someone's got to do it.

Oh man, I remember this one time, after recently getting booted out of my parents' house, I skinned a stray cat just so I wouldn't starve. I was strung out and needed some junk, but my friend Vinny didn't have any and I didn't have any food and my friends weren't returning my phone calls. It sucked so much; the meat was so tough, and I could barely stomach it. Though now a days, when I'm back in that public park with the tennis courts, I get a real good laugh whenever I see some wholesome family flipping burgers off that same grill I used for skewering a cat. And every time I see a different family passing the potato chips amongst themselves, slopping mounds of beans onto their plates, and chomping through under-cooked burgers, I always wish that the cat I killed was theirs--just so I could have the personal enjoyment of knowing that I and I alone put a sorrowful, little dent into that family's well being.

I have two mottos I go by:

Fuck 'em all but six.

and

The world is my ashtray.

Alright, alright, alright. So I may have started out with a few little fibs. I'm no scumbag. At least I think I'm not.

Where to start. . .

Skateboarding is a passion of mine. I've been doing for about nine years now. I don't skate as frequently as I used to, but I get out as often as I can. I don't consider it a sport, and it's hard to imagine it as one. I think my mother (that's right, I'm mentioning my mother in my profile) said it best when she was quoted in a local newspaper for saying, "[My son] is like a ballerina on wheels." Thanks Mom.

Recently I got into cycling. Despite the winter season I'm doing what I can to train for RAGBRAI. But stationary bikes are such a bore and lackluster compared to hitting the streets. I ride an old Nishiki and love it. Since I turned her into a commuter she has gotten a little beat up. We've taken some spills, and I've chipped some paint off of her. I'm trying to save up some money for a new Trek road-bike.

Vegan.

Music is another passion of mine. I love local music. I got to shows as frequently as I can. You got to support your scene!

I go to the University of Iowa and am studying English--third year of school, second year at Iowa. Iowa is the third college I've attended. Before I was at a small private school, and the I was at a community college. Iowa City may get crappy at times, but I truly enjoy my classes and professors.

"From checkers I learned that a king is where there's a guy who looks exactly like another guy right on top of him. But life taught me that that's a queen."

-Demetri Martin

03/30/2009

Ten weeks into RealJock's muscle building program.

Uhhhh. . .

Hmmmm. . .

Guys with:

- common interests
- some creativity
- a little cynicism /pessimism
- a good sense of sarcasm

A list? Seriously John? A list? Now that's some creativity for you.

Hit me up; I'm always up for meeting new people.

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