The Butch Factor

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    Jun 22, 2010 12:20 PM GMT
    I thought this was interesting and might be interesting to some that have discussions on here on being femme, butch, masculine and etc


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    Jun 22, 2010 1:07 PM GMT
    That's been posted quite a few times already (both here and in other gay and straight forums).
    From what I can gather, the masc vs fem war has been going on since long before gay rights. Before the gay rights movement, the fems were just considered to be unmanly and weak. Eventually fems starting coming out of the closet, and the word gay was associated with fem. Then masc guys wanted to come out, but society had already made up its mind that all gays are fem. So because of that, many of the masc guys opted to stay in the closet (or keep it on the DL) so they wouldn't get thought of as unmanly and weak by their peers.

    That also explains a lot of the gay bashing. Since homophobia is just the fear of one's own repressed homosexuality, it only makes since that those who are doing the bashing against the fem gays are primarily lashing out at those who perpetuate the stereotype that they'd like to avoid if they came out of the closet. That does not excuse their behavior, but it helps explain it.

    Hopefully one day there will be enough openly gay masc guys to level the playing field and drown out the gay=fem stereotype. It's an incorrect stereotype that's been played on by the media way too long.
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    Jun 22, 2010 1:09 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidHopefully one day there will be enough openly gay masc guys to level the playing field and drown out the gay=fem stereotype. It's an incorrect stereotype that's been played on by the media way too long.

    hopefully one day society will give up the bullshit instead!!
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    Jun 22, 2010 1:14 PM GMT
    There's no straight answer to being gay.
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    Jun 22, 2010 1:37 PM GMT
    Quit advertising the film that took the place of mine at the Melbourne Queer Film Festival. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jun 22, 2010 2:37 PM GMT
    lilTanker said
    paulflexes saidHopefully one day there will be enough openly gay masc guys to level the playing field and drown out the gay=fem stereotype. It's an incorrect stereotype that's been played on by the media way too long.

    hopefully one day society will give up the bullshit instead!!
    That would be nice. But the fem-bashing is even done among the gay community, too. I think that preaching anti-hate and anti-discrimination is the only way to conquer it. Putting a variety of demeanors in the media in both gay and straight roles - all getting along together - would help accomplish that.

    I'll freely admit that I was raised in a rural area (on a farm) with a family that highly believed in gender roles. I was in my early to mid-30's before I fully accepted fem guys, even though I've been out since age 21. If the media had portrayed a wider variety of gender roles, I may have been more accepting earlier in life. It took moving out of the small towns and seeing the variety for myself to make that change. Until moving to Miami, I also fought the masc/fem identity crisis, and avoided gay bars as much as possible (except to get laid) because I didn't want to be associated with it. Falling in love with and dating a fem guy for three years also helped quite a bit. icon_wink.gif