I Just Fired My Urologist

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2010 8:38 PM GMT
    Of all the doctors I must see, urologists have always given me the most difficult time. Dictatorial (no pun), arrogant, I've actually had one say to me, upon our first meeting before I had even said hello, that I was not allowed to speak, except to answer his questions. Questions that missed the reason I was there, so that the office visit was a waste of time.

    The others have been little better, I suppose because they mostly deal with elderly men who are either combative, or senile, or both. I am neither, and actually very willing to cooperate and try to be a "good patient." But neither am I a 2-year old, and I still have all my faculties.

    So today I get a phone call out of the blue, from my current urologist's office, telling me I needed a PSA blood test of a certain type. How soon, I asked? I'm not scheduled to see him for 5 months yet. "When you can," was the reply. Well, why? Why not just before the office visit, the normal procedure? What has prompted this call? Is this over the cancer scare I had? Does he want to see me sooner?

    "The doctor wants it," was the answer, with no reason given. I'd like a reason, I replied. "The doctor wants it," I was told again. Not good enough.

    I said "no thank you" and hung up. A moment later I was speaking to my GP's office, asking them to make me an appointment with a new urologist, which they did. I also directed them to contact my former urologist for my records, and have them transferred. That is being done now.

    I simply do not tolerate doctors who treat their patients like cattle, or who have office staff who mirror that attitude. I was already barely satisfied with this guy before, as remote and cold a person as you could imagine. Today's incident merely made my decision easier.

    Do any of you have the same problem with some health care providers? I'm mainly addressing the older members here, because I know younger people tend to accept authority figures more blindly, still clinging to a child-parent role. And BTW, I'm not talking about how medical care is FUNDED, just how it's practiced.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2010 9:54 PM GMT
    I fully agree with you.
    I hate to pay for a service and be treated as if I was some kind of animal, a kid, or a supplicant.
    I agree it has to be testing, in medical profession, with some patient.
    But, just like you, I will change doctors until I find one who gives me the minimal level of respect I expect in any social interaction with a stranger.

    The fact a guy can stick his finger up my ass doesn't give it a right to speak to me as if I was retarded ;-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2010 10:11 PM GMT
    Yeah, I'm looking for a new one myself. I dislike doctor roulette. It's so hit or miss. This time I asked my GP for a referral. Maybe she'll come up with someone good.
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    Jun 22, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    if gyno's did what uro's did, women wouldnt stand for it... as a rule, my uro cant be older than 45, past that and they cant understand where i'm coming from... I get to start playing doctor roulette soon, whenever i get insurance again... but with everything, doctor, dentist, uro, orthopedic, ophthalmologist... god i hate post-college moves...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2010 10:23 PM GMT
    I may be a young'n but I simply do not condone this type of behavior by ANY person. I've released doctors, surgeons, chiropractors, and even lawyers due to insolent behaviour such as this.

    Doctor's forget that, in their state of high-and-mighty, they are still in the employ of the people to utilize their knowledge and expertise for the benefit of the body as a whole. If you lose the respect of the body, you lose it and your capacity to faithfully execute your role as healer and (for some) counselor.

    I've had lots of medical training and work part-time in EMS - and I would NEVER allow myself or any of my unit to speak so disparagingly to or about a patient. If a medical professional talked to me in such a manner, rest assured there wouldn't be a second chance.

    You go with your bad self for taking charge!
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    Jun 22, 2010 10:42 PM GMT
    The responses above are good.

    I do point out, though, that the person to whom you were speaking was an appointment nurse or scheduling person. They were told to contact you and, apparently, that's it.

    They won't have the information you need, and his/her responses indicated that.

    You needed to speak to the doctor personally on the issue.

    Now, it could be that the doctor is an authoritarian and just expects people to jump up and perform for him/her. But I just thought I'd point that out.
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Jun 22, 2010 10:48 PM GMT
    A friend of mine who just graduated from a fairly prestigious med school swears that 50% of what they taught was essentially how to bully and talk down to patients. That's pretty sad... I think the proliferation of information on the internet etc. is only making matters worse as doctors feel constantly threatned and challenged (which they're not accustomed to).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2010 10:52 PM GMT
    fastprof saidThe responses above are good.

    I do point out, though, that the person to whom you were speaking was an appointment nurse or scheduling person. They were told to contact you and, apparently, that's it.

    They won't have the information you need, and his/her responses indicated that.

    You needed to speak to the doctor personally on the issue.

    Now, it could be that the doctor is an authoritarian and just expects people to jump up and perform for him/her. But I just thought I'd point that out.


    That is a good point and in my passion, I overlooked that point.

    However, I am inclined to believe that the receptionist/appointment nurse/scheduling person was also rather gruff on the phone and wasn't as accommodating as they could have been.

    I usually get southern on impolite people (which happens so rarely) and tell them to mind their manners. It does wonders.

    Bless my father's (black) side for that gift.
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    Jun 22, 2010 10:59 PM GMT
    I went to see the urologist after having a kidney stone. I waited in the waiting room for 45 minutes AFTER my scheduled time. The nurse finally took me to an exam room, in which I waited another hour. At one point, a nurse opened the door, started to walk in with a chart in hand and another patient. Her response was simply -- Oh, what are you doing in here. I told her I was waiting to see the dr. and had been here for over an hour.

    Another time, after another kidney stone surgery, I called 15 minutes before my scheduled appointment, asked if they were running on time. I told her I was going to have to clock out of work to come to the appt., and also told her I was not coming if they were running behind again. She told me they were on schedule. I checked out, went to the office, told them I was there. After an hour of sitting in the waiting room, I went to the desk, told them in a voice loud enough that all those in the waiting room could hear, that if they were on time, I would hate to be there when they were late. I also proceeded to tell them I had called, they had told me they were on time. I told them I was leaving and would be notifying the insurace company to deny any claims from them for missing an appt. without 24 hr. notice. I told them I would not be back and would find another dr.

    Just who the h@#$ do these dr.s think they are?

    A friend told me he was in an exam room, waiting for his turn to see the Dr. He could hear the Dr. in the exam room next door, and even heard someone open the door and ask the dr. if he wanted to go to lunch. They went to lunch, leaving my friend in the exam room. I think he finally left without seeing the dr.

    Does getting a degree and the big bucks make them think they are better than anyone else?

    Sorry --- you pushed a button here with me on this forum post. I could go on and on!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2010 11:19 PM GMT
    wow, those are some stories!
    my gp is a famous 'gay' doc (in new york its kind of a status thing to have a famous gay doc...) and i love him, he's great: smart, professional and nice. he likes me. his staff though, is another matter. a bunch of bitchy queens who seems to think throwing red tape is their job.
    i've thought about switching, and my bf did just that, but i dunno. its a big decision and the doc himself is good, so...
    icon_confused.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 22, 2010 11:44 PM GMT
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  • xysx

    Posts: 306

    Jun 23, 2010 12:17 AM GMT
    Hey, Wilton, I feel for you. truly. Unfortunately IMHO, many physicians, whether it be GPs or specialists, have a different mindset when it comes to human relations, because they have been trained in pathologies, rather than people. Have you thought about trying to find a Urology Nurse Practicioner? Another option, perhaps, considering the difference of issues that sometimes arise in Gay men as opposed to heterosexual men (and yes, there are differences) is a matchup of a urologist that specializes in Gay Mens Health Issues. If nothing else, they may be a bit more responsive to human interaction and may be more inclined to see you as a person, rather than just your dick.. check the links below, & plz keep me updated. You deserve the best!. And, BTW, I hope all is well with you and that the prompting for more labwork was not brought on by anything of concern.
    http://www.glma.org/
    or, http://www.lgbthealthcare.com/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2010 2:49 AM GMT
    Yes,the health care providers here in Tampa,Florida treat people like a veal cow with a wallet.
    I am a self employed artist/construction worker and I pay a considerable amount for very good health insurance.I have been through three primary care physicians in two years,the first one had a serious problem with me being gay,he got fired.The second one incorrectly diagnosed a problem and prescribed a drug that caused an almost life threatening problem and the third "misplaced" the results of my PSA blood tests,twice.
    It's not just you,it's Florida.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Jun 23, 2010 3:02 AM GMT
    Okay, ignoring the vaguely insulting end of your post, I'd just like to add that while finding a new urologist might be a good idea -- not getting the test probably isn't.
    Maybe the dude's (or his/her asst.) is just a jerk. But that doesn't mean that the test isn't necessary. The fact that he wants it at such an odd time off-hand implies a certain urgency. The fact that the asst. apparently didn't say it was urgent is peculiar.
    My first assumption would be that the doctor screwed-up before and is doing a test he should have done before or that was somehow ambiguous and he didn't catch it.
    In any case, I'd try to find out what the test was for, and, regardless, get it done. (Even if with another urologist.)
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Jun 23, 2010 3:35 AM GMT
    I was born with 3 kidneys , I married my nephrologist (who by coincidence has 1 kidney)

    sad fucked up love tale but we have 4 between us.
    I didnt like my urology rotation I would never do it.


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    Jun 23, 2010 4:01 AM GMT
    If you've had extensive experience with urologists, as your post implies, I assume that means you have a history of urological problems. If that's the case, I tend to agree with neo, that you probably wanna get the test.

    The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to inform myself and quiz doctors about their conclusions and suggestions. I suppose it's the high volume of patients they see, but most doctors don't seem to listen well. I find myself having to repeat the same thing several times before I'm heard.

    I'm with Kaiser, which has made all records electronic now. That's a good thing, but the doctor spends most of the appointment sitting in front of a computer and asking questions, without even looking at the patient until the direct physical examination is made.

    I dislike going to the doctor so much that when I was due for some blood tests last week, I almost called and cancelled because, um, I didn't feel well. I had a cold. It's pretty bad when you don't wanna go to the doctor because you feel sick.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2010 6:00 AM GMT
    I live in Canada. The government dotes on us with wads of money.

    Actually, I had an ear specialist during my years playing water polo and he was originally from China, top of his field sorta thing, and he was very cold, but utterly professional, which I guess could mean the same thing to some doctors. One Christmas my mum sent him and his receptionist flowers and the next time we visited, he was much, much warmer, and so were his receptionists.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2010 6:08 AM GMT
    The lack of bedside manners and patient courtesy is a running thing these days in the medical profession. It's a shame really.

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    Jun 23, 2010 8:53 AM GMT
    Wow. I guess we're lucky in South Africa. My GP is gay and has always treated me with respect. When I asked him for my first prostate check-up, he recommended two urologists and told me one was gay friendly. I went with him and was treated very well. He took time to explain how the prostate works and what signs I should look for in order to detect any problems in their intital stages.
    What you guys are describing is very cold and the doctors don't seem to bother much about educating and getting to know their patients.
    The only bad thing I've experienced are the delays we have. Consultations are always bout 30 mins late. But I guess that is very African of us too. A 3pm appointment really means anytime after that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2010 11:18 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]ObsceneWish said[/cite]If you've had extensive experience with urologists, as your post implies, I assume that means you have a history of urological problems. If that's the case, I tend to agree with neo, that you probably wanna get the test.

    The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to inform myself and quiz doctors about their conclusions and suggestions. I suppose it's the high volume of patients they see, but most doctors don't seem to listen well. I find myself having to repeat the same thing several times before I'm heard.

    I'm with Kaiser, which has made all records electronic now. That's a good thing, but the doctor spends most of the appointment sitting in front of a computer and asking questions, without even looking at the patient until the direct physical examination is made.

    I dislike going to the doctor so much that when I was due for some blood tests last week, I almost called and cancelled because, um, I didn't feel well. I had a cold. It's pretty bad when you don't wanna go to the doctor because you feel sick. [/quote

    Excellent. Remind of my mother, once asked by her doc why she didn't came earlier, and she genuily answered : "Ho doctor !, I was waiting to feel better to come to see you"
  • NursePractiti...

    Posts: 232

    Jun 23, 2010 11:52 AM GMT
    Some physicians do feed on power, not just over patients, but nurses as well. In fact, unless asked by a provider, I don't even tell them I'm a nurse. Physicians in the states also have to deal with insurance companies who have up to six months or longer to provide payment and can continually ask for re-submition of bills, patients who, "just want a pill to make it go away", and patients who bring in reams, (and I do mean reams) of stuff on their problem they downloaded from the internet from god knows where. A typical GP in the states must see a patient every 7 minutes just to break even if they accept medicare, Medicaid. Many are starting to turn even that down now. It's not easy. That being said however, they did choose the career and knew what they were getting into. I don't know what Wiltons physician thought he was doing by telling him he could not speak except to answer questions. Not exactly a way to find out what the problem is. As for the staff not telling him the reason, the appropriate response if they didn't know should have been, "I will find out and have to call you back." And then of course actually follow through with it. Please don't mistake what I said above for defending any providers poor attitude. People come to be helped and deserve to be treated as human beings. I would be interested of course to see any MD's on RJ respond to this though. Both in and outside the states.
  • Stephan

    Posts: 407

    Jun 23, 2010 12:13 PM GMT
    Gee, that is horrible, but I had similar experiences with gps... Now, have a great Internal Medicine doctor that I have had over 5yrs now.

    I also have a great Urologist as well! He is younger than me, but he is great and very understanding
    ....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2010 12:19 PM GMT
    To answer several of these posts: yes, I have along history of prostate, kidney & bladder problems. I've had 2 surgeries, in 1989 and 1996. I was referred to this urologist when my PSA shot up, causing my GP and him to suspect prostate cancer. He wanted to do a biopsy, but I convinced him I was more likely having a flare-up of non-specific prostatitis that I've had before, and to put me on Septra-DS for a month. Sure enough, my PSA went back down, and he said I could skip the biospy, and see him again in December.

    I now think I know what happened this time. When I saw my GP 2 weeks ago for a routine exam she had my blood drawn, to verify the level of Tegretol epilepsy med in my system, since I'd actually had a seizure right in her office during my previous visit. I myself requested the PSA be checked, too, just to keep an eye on it, and I think we ended up doing a nearly complete panel, because I have a number of other things that need monitoring, too.

    Well, when her office got the lab results back they forwarded them to my urologist as a routine procedure when a patient is seeing a specialist. Since there doesn't appear to be any PSA problem, I think the issue was with the type of PSA test my GP had requested the lab perform. The urologist would rather have seen a different test, but none was scheduled for his purposes anyway until the week before my December visit with him.

    In fact, I'm not even sure he was involved with yesterday's phone call, might just have been his office people seeing the lab results my GP sent, realized it wasn't the type the urologist prefers, and they contacted me on their own, thinking their own doctor had ordered and needed it. Well, he doesn't, not until December.

    But whether it was his staff's problem, or his, I never liked him anyway. Cold, brusque and slipshod, I suspected he doesn't like gay men. Last time I saw him, when my PSA had gone down, negating a biopsy, he didn't even give me a DRE, to check if the prostate enlargement had also gone away. What gay man would be satisfied with that? icon_wink.gif
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Jun 23, 2010 12:34 PM GMT
    fastprof saidThe responses above are good.

    I do point out, though, that the person to whom you were speaking was an appointment nurse or scheduling person. They were told to contact you and, apparently, that's it.

    They won't have the information you need, and his/her responses indicated that.

    You needed to speak to the doctor personally on the issue.

    Now, it could be that the doctor is an authoritarian and just expects people to jump up and perform for him/her. But I just thought I'd point that out.



    Indeed that is true but it is also possible that when the OP asked "why" the schedule person could have said other than "because he want's it" something like "i apologize but I don't have that information, I can see if the doc can call you back at his earliest convenience if you'd like".
    Not EXACTLY that but something close.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2010 12:45 PM GMT
    I guess I'm lucky, or maybe it's my location. People are very health conscious. Drs understand that and generally support people doing independent research and asking questions. My GP told me he tries to cover all the bases by asking detailed questions and ordering appropriate tests. He also said that overall, when people have an active involvement in their medical care, it's just like being a smart consumer. Can only help because the Drs are not perfect.