BioMatty> like-minded people
Yup, that's the key to "normal" or "ordinary". PLU (People Like Us).
I think that's part of my problem with the bar scene. It appeals to the lowesst common denominators: sex, alcohol/smoke, loud music/dancing - and none of those are my scene. (Er, to explain the sex part... I'm already monogamously partnered.)
Don't see what you want out there? Carpe diem. Make it happen. I find it quaint that with all the "overachievers" out there, so many people are sitting around waiting for someone else to pick up the ball and run with it - for them and in the exact direction and way that they want.
I'll take myself as an example (because I'm even more awesome than BioMatty (: ).
Years ago, before the internet, the Univ. of Michigan had a LGBT on-line forum on the mainframe. I had recently graduated and was just out of a 2 year relationship... and it freaked me out that all the (mostly) students in the room had never met one another in real life - despite often living in the same dorm. So, along with a friend, I organized monthly BBQs. First at my apartment, then at local parks (just couldn't fit 125 people into the living room). The last remaining piece of this is the local annual Pride Picnic.
Three other friends, with university sponsorship, started something called "Club Fab". Basically a chem free bar - with the music they wanted.
Most recently I started a gay football team here in Michigan. No one complained that our games (in a local str8 league) conflicted with "Shear Genius". (:
I think there used to be more gay venues (not just bars or the net). I once theorized this was because being gay had entered the mainstream; people were out to their book club (or frat) and thus didn't need a gay book club (or gay frat) anymore. Now I wonder if it's because it is easy to find a hookup (to satisy one's gay needs) such that there is no need for a larger gay community. But then, there were always cruisy spots for that. So maybe it's a combination of all that, plus burnout by those who were running with the ball and inertia (or lack thereof) by those who weren't and won't.
So, to get back to the point, if you want to see X happen, make it happen. If not you, then who? If not today, then when?