What the F is wrong with guys??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 10:24 AM GMT
    OK, not looking for advice here. Just need to vent and get this off my chest.

    Over the past week, I've been on 2 dates with guys that I have met on different singles/chat sites.

    Neither of them were spontaneous-spur-of-the-moment things. I had been talking/texting/chatting with each of them for at least a month. Decided it was time to get my feet wet again, and jump in. So, I made plans with each of them.

    First guy: We decided to get a drink at a local bar and hang out. I get to his house, because he was on my way and I offered to drive. He invites me in for a drink. We're getting along famously, laughing, having a good time.

    Then he drops the bomb: "If we're gonna go, we probably should go now. MY BOYFRIEND WILL BE HOME SOON."

    I'm sorry... WTF??

    Second guy: Actually talked with him/chatted/ texted for more than 2 months before we decided the time was right to meet face to face. he drove to my house, then we walked to a cute little greek place in the neighborhood. We had discovered early on that we had several friends in common, so we chatted about that and things in general. Then, we got to talking about the things we find most attractive in a mate. I tell him my wants and desires, then it's his turn. He tells me how he's attracted to older men (like me), and what he finds most attractive in said men....to which he adds, "Just like my boyfriend. He's 17 years older than me".

    I'm sorry... WTF??

    Did you say...boyfriend, or EX boyfriend??

    First guy: "Boyfriend. Don't you remember? We actually chatted several months ago on (website). You kinda blew me off when I told you I had a BF, but we play around."

    Yeah? Well, here's me blowing you off again.

    I left.

    Second guy: "I didn't mention I had a BF? I thought I did. Yeah, we just moved in together. That's weird...I thought I told you."

    No, douchebag. You didn't tell me.

    "Well, things aren't going all that well anyway. So I'm trying to meet new people. Just in case"

    I'm sorry....What the F did you just say?? Just in case of what??

    Check please!!

    Thanked him for a nice lunch, and went home.

    F-ing douchebag texts me later:

    Him: Hey, what's up?

    Me: I'm drinking with friends.

    Him: I'm really bored. (BF) is out drinking with his friends too. Might not be home tonight. I'm stuck here all alone with nothing to do. You wanna maybe come over? Watch a movie or something?

    Me: No. I really don't. Text your BF instead. Good night.

    What the F is wrong with guys??

    I don't cheat. I'm not a cheater. I don't want to be with a cheater. Cause if he's cheating on someone to be with me....why on EARTH would I believe he wouldn't do the same thing to me??

    Ok, I feel much better. Thanks for listening.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 10:35 AM GMT
    I think I'll stick with staying single and being a borderline ho. I just wish I coulda been awake last night when one of my FWB's texted me to come over. Damn job...making me go to bed early and shit. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 1:04 PM GMT
    A lot of guy's don't have the real tools to apply them to dating or relationship. I think that sometimes being in a culture(gay) where being promiscuous can be conditioned to the norm. A lot of guy's are pussy's, they just can't man up. There selfish. You either have a boyfriend or not! If it's an open one fine, but don't be cheating.

    This I don't miss about being single!icon_biggrin.gif
  • NashRugger

    Posts: 1089

    Jun 24, 2010 1:07 PM GMT
    men are pigs
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 1:11 PM GMT
    Sorry you're going through this...
    Chin up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 1:13 PM GMT
    heheh, Mighty_Q those are experiences I had back in '76. The more things change the more they stay the same, eh?

    You're on top of your game, asking all the right questions at all the right times (although it's nice knowing earlier on when it turns out the man in question is a cad) icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Jun 24, 2010 1:13 PM GMT
    RamWX saidmen are pigs


    Exactly, and on both sides too... because there are plenty of guys who could care less that these guys had BF's and would date/sleep with them anyway, which is why they were so nonchalant about it...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 1:17 PM GMT

    I'm sorry you've had back to back disheartening experiences. Both of the guys you wrote about sound like sad cases. You definitely deserve better.

    I'm wondering if you just drew two bad apples in a row or if there's something that attracts you to characters like these two. Could it be, for instance, that they have an irreverence or egotistical edge that, on its own (without the infidelity), would be attractive?

    Best of luck.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Jun 24, 2010 1:46 PM GMT
    Wow, that gives us (men) such a bad rep. Or worse.

    ..................... I'm single. LoL.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 1:52 PM GMT
    that sux man, maybe make it a point when u start talking to a potential date just subtly drop a "so u seeing anyone?" it covers ur ass icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 1:57 PM GMT
    how weired would it be if those 2 guys are each others bfs!!!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 1:57 PM GMT
    "Men are toejam." Carla, Cheers TV show
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    Jun 24, 2010 1:59 PM GMT
    RamWX saidmen are pigs


    why are u insulting pigs? what have they ever done to you? this is so not cool?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 2:25 PM GMT
    ditto above.

    why don't they just call each other roommates or fuck buddies and give up the charade of pretending to be "important" to each other?

    just be honest...sheesh.

    mightyQ, fall down six times, get up seven. you'll find someone if you keep trying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 2:29 PM GMT
    Uhm, so whats the problem?? They were clearly in open relationships?? Unless you're lookign for pure monogamy....
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    Jun 24, 2010 2:42 PM GMT
    amar_m saidUhm, so whats the problem?? They were clearly in open relationships?? Unless you're lookign for pure monogamy....


    He clearly didn't know
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Jun 24, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    amar_m saidUhm, so whats the problem?? They were clearly in open relationships?? Unless you're lookign for pure monogamy....


    No. If you re-read it again the one clearly isn't in what would be an open relationship.

    [quote] "Well, things aren't going all that well anyway. So I'm trying to meet new people. Just in case".. [/quote]

    CLEARLY one should be up front about any boyfriends before meeting other guys in such circumstances. However, not all are up front about it.
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    Jun 24, 2010 5:00 PM GMT

    Even if these guys were upfront with their current bf's, they weren't up front with the OP even though they had both been in communication with him for a good while before they met. Pathetic.
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    Jun 24, 2010 5:06 PM GMT
    flieslikeabeagle said
    Even if these guys were upfront with their current bf's, they weren't up front with the OP even though they had both been in communication with him for a good while before they met. Pathetic.


    FTW.
  • davidnta

    Posts: 86

    Jun 24, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    Mighty_Q saidOK, not looking for advice here. Just need to vent and get this off my chest.

    Over the past week, I've been on 2 dates with guys that I have met on different singles/chat sites.

    Neither of them were spontaneous-spur-of-the-moment things. I had been talking/texting/chatting with each of them for at least a month. Decided it was time to get my feet wet again, and jump in. So, I made plans with each of them.

    First guy: We decided to get a drink at a local bar and hang out. I get to his house, because he was on my way and I offered to drive. He invites me in for a drink. We're getting along famously, laughing, having a good time.

    Then he drops the bomb: "If we're gonna go, we probably should go now. MY BOYFRIEND WILL BE HOME SOON."

    I'm sorry... WTF??

    Second guy: Actually talked with him/chatted/ texted for more than 2 months before we decided the time was right to meet face to face. he drove to my house, then we walked to a cute little greek place in the neighborhood. We had discovered early on that we had several friends in common, so we chatted about that and things in general. Then, we got to talking about the things we find most attractive in a mate. I tell him my wants and desires, then it's his turn. He tells me how he's attracted to older men (like me), and what he finds most attractive in said men....to which he adds, "Just like my boyfriend. He's 17 years older than me".

    I'm sorry... WTF??

    Did you say...boyfriend, or EX boyfriend??

    First guy: "Boyfriend. Don't you remember? We actually chatted several months ago on (website). You kinda blew me off when I told you I had a BF, but we play around."

    Yeah? Well, here's me blowing you off again.

    I left.

    Second guy: "I didn't mention I had a BF? I thought I did. Yeah, we just moved in together. That's weird...I thought I told you."

    No, douchebag. You didn't tell me.

    "Well, things aren't going all that well anyway. So I'm trying to meet new people. Just in case"

    I'm sorry....What the F did you just say?? Just in case of what??

    Check please!!

    Thanked him for a nice lunch, and went home.

    F-ing douchebag texts me later:

    Him: Hey, what's up?

    Me: I'm drinking with friends.

    Him: I'm really bored. (BF) is out drinking with his friends too. Might not be home tonight. I'm stuck here all alone with nothing to do. You wanna maybe come over? Watch a movie or something?

    Me: No. I really don't. Text your BF instead. Good night.

    What the F is wrong with guys??

    I don't cheat. I'm not a cheater. I don't want to be with a cheater. Cause if he's cheating on someone to be with me....why on EARTH would I believe he wouldn't do the same thing to me??

    Ok, I feel much better. Thanks for listening.


    I admire your ethics in these situations.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 5:11 PM GMT
    flieslikeabeagle said
    Even if these guys were upfront with their current bf's, they weren't up front with the OP even though they had both been in communication with him for a good while before they met. Pathetic.


    if the first guy was "up front" with his BF, why would he feel the sudden need to leave before his BF showed up?

    if it was truly open, seems it wouldn't matter. in fact, what a perfect time for a menage a trois? rrar.
  • lozano86

    Posts: 293

    Jun 24, 2010 5:19 PM GMT
    yah that makes guys look really bad. i really dont get open relationships but whatever works for those dudes i guess. I glad you didnt put up with that shit and left. Speaks volumes about you.

    Sad that they didnt tell you in the beginning
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2010 5:22 PM GMT
    Oh, quitcherbitchin! Some of us don't even get dates let alone bad ones.icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 24, 2010 5:43 PM GMT
    GuerrillaSodomite saidOh, quitcherbitchin! Some of us don't even get dates let alone bad ones.icon_lol.gif


    haha
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Jun 24, 2010 5:44 PM GMT
    GuerrillaSodomite saidOh, quitcherbitchin! Some of us don't even get dates let alone bad ones.icon_lol.gif


    Oh jeesh...that does it. GuerSod I'm so taking you out for a real, quality, top notch, no holds barred date of all dates the next time I'm in Chicago, so YOU quit bitching (and start deciding where you want to go...):wink

    OP, I feel your pain, man. I FEEEL your pain. I got all wrapped up in one asshole of all assholes who I thought was serious potential quality, including a week of hearing shit like "I'm both scared and exhilarated thinking about what a lifetime with you would be like - you've thrown me off my axis - you so turn me on physically, wow! " and "I'm intoxicated by how spiritually and intellectually and compassionately you turn me on. You amaze me..." then "Hey. I just had this bad fight with my ex. I'm not sure what to do. Wer're just now breaking up, and it was always wrong because he got caught up in the re-bound from my last break up...I never seem to be able to know exactly what I want. I realized three months into (the 11 years they were together) that it wasn't right. I just took him along because I was lonely. I can't seem to find what I'm looking for." Really? REALly? And that makes me feel good how, fucker? WOO WOO WOO WOO Warning Will Robinson, Danger Danger! I'm going to start carrying around business cards for local therapists and 12-step programs for these fuckers! Fucking boys in men's bodies.

    Thank God for boy-dog, my Coop. And my roomie and best friend. And especially for the amazing kindness one RJ guy in particular has shown me this past week. Such extraordinary depth of character. He's got a big ole' chunk of my heart right now and I'm a bit 'Hmmmmmm.....' all over him. Maybe I need to grow up too.....

    Fucking fucked up crazy ass miserable shitty fuckers with dicks and tight asses, every one of them - or nearly every one. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.