Really depressing poem I wrote a while back. :O

  • brycetippe

    Posts: 688

    Jul 01, 2010 4:46 AM GMT
    Such words cannot express the way I feel
    The strength of this anguish
    Could make grown men keel
    Open, wounded, bore to all
    This fake happiness was bound to fall
    My eyes tear up
    Thinking of what I’ve never lost
    This lack of situation
    Is a dire cost
    A hole in place
    Of where my heart should be
    Will I ever have someone actually LOVE me?
    It’s bound to happen
    Is the most logical answer
    But I’m not convinced
    Why isn’t this faster
    To fall in love is supposedly a necessity
    Why isn’t this moment happening to me?
    Where are you, oh soul mate
    I even wonder, is it in my fate?
    What a terrible feeling
    This hole can bring
    It hurts, it pains, this anguish does sing.
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    Jul 01, 2010 4:55 AM GMT
    HOLY.
  • brycetippe

    Posts: 688

    Jul 01, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    shan37 saidHOLY.

    HOLY? :O
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    Jul 01, 2010 6:00 AM GMT
    brycetippe said
    shan37 saidHOLY HELL I CAN'T BELIEVE I READ THAT.

    HOLY? :O

    icon_wink.gif

    Just teasing. Gotta toughen you up for the real monsters are RJ.
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    Jul 01, 2010 6:08 AM GMT
    That's a really well written/nice poem. icon_biggrin.gif Resonates pretty strongly with my soul...
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 01, 2010 6:29 AM GMT
    i recuse myself icon_rolleyes.gif
  • brycetippe

    Posts: 688

    Jul 01, 2010 6:35 AM GMT
    Dragoonxi saidThat's a really well written/nice poem. icon_biggrin.gif Resonates pretty strongly with my soul...

    Aw thank you. icon_smile.gif
    I have a knack for poetry.
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    Jul 01, 2010 7:37 AM GMT
    This is the last poem I wrote

    UNREALITY

    Stay away from me
    Leave and let me be
    All is all illusion
    Unreality

    Unreality 2x
    All is but illusion
    Unreality

    I wrote you a love song
    In the throes of passion
    It was an emotion
    All inside of me

    Me and nothing else
    May it come to pass
    All of this deception
    Unreality

    Unreality 2x
    All is a deception
    Unreality

    All is all of me
    Nothing else to be
    Nothing but confusion
    Is what’s left of me

    Nothing ever helps
    Pray for someone else
    My imagination
    Unreality 2x

    Unreality 2x
    All imagination
    Unreality



    And for takers, here's the music vid I made to it:

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    Jul 01, 2010 12:37 PM GMT
    OMG that is how I feel right now...Thanks for sharing...........
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    Jul 01, 2010 1:38 PM GMT
    Ok, I hijacking this thread and taking it down a notch or two. Anyone what to share their favorite dirty Limerick?
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    Jul 01, 2010 2:07 PM GMT
    U perhaps?? icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 01, 2010 3:00 PM GMT
    Thank you for the pain of unrequited love,
    I fell so far, so fast, so hard.
    Thank you for the gain of knowing I could love,
    A magic that I learned to guard,

    When it hit again, I knew better what to do,
    New man, new love, new me, strong heart,
    I, a surer man, for what I had been through,
    Old hurt, love's end, gave this: New start!


    lol, sorry, rough draft! -Doug

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 01, 2010 3:02 PM GMT
    Thanks for sharing that with us... I know its very personal.
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    Jul 01, 2010 8:07 PM GMT
    Kind of emo for my taste. I also believe rhyming couplets are saccharin in contemporary poetry. I'm more a fan of rich, prosaic poems. Allow me to freestyle for a bit a concept I had last night in my head:


    ...
    I hate you like a third-grader, which is easy to understand,
    we rode in back-seats together and used my dad's pickup like a fort
    well into the night in that cool Nebraska garden,
    your mom picked you up and I had to reluctantly let you go with her,
    and then I went upstairs and didn't care to do my homework despite that sinking feeling of Sunday night,
    because that boy in me wanted to keep you amused (and safe).
    And it was enough.

    You were fifteen and I was seventeen, even if really we were both somewhere in our twenties,
    you gave up coffee and smoked like a chimney behind that outdoor sculpture studio in the art department,
    we both got drunk and you sliced your hand open with a piece of dark brown glass (you idiot, you broke my bottle of Sammy Adams).
    You shook, and I kneeled, I crouched, close enough to see those subtle hints of steel and slate in your iris (you know I madly love them. I madly, madly love them).
    I took your hand to look at the blood, Killers blaring something around us,
    you sliced your hand open with that piece of glass, you idiot,
    and I still have it.

    I went back to that night, December 15th of 2007, sometime the following April. I went back to it, physically, and the weeds were wildly overgrown (because the past doesn't cease to exist, it simply sits there, in the waters and the wild, silent. But it's there). I went back to it and found you sitting by the moor, knees into your chest. I sat beside you and you cocked your head to look at me, but said nothing. I hated you like a third-grader then, too, because love and fear and wonder and amazement are drops of water for children. No pickup truck to make a fort. Only the smells of stale beer and dry, maroon blood.


    ...

    So obviously this didn't go anywhere, but it's how I freestyle icon_razz.gif