Long-Distance Relationships

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 07, 2010 12:33 PM GMT
    Are long-distance relationships doomed because of geography? Is it possible to have a long-term, loving, lasting relationship in spite of distance?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 07, 2010 12:35 PM GMT
    It depends on the distance, the individuals and the relationship..
    My partner lives 100 miles away and we've been involved for 11.5 years.
    It hasn't always been a long distance relationship, but most of the time.
    It can be challenging, but our time is always a priority.
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    Jul 07, 2010 4:34 PM GMT
    Saulbedfellow saidAre long-distance relationships doomed because of geography? Is it possible to have a long-term, loving, lasting relationship in spite of distance?


    it is possible. it just means you have to work harder at is is all.
    no sweating of the small stuff. what u will find is that when u are together you treasure the time more.
  • abflexman

    Posts: 121

    Jul 07, 2010 4:44 PM GMT
    My bf lives 4400 miles or and 8 hour flight away. But he is worth the distance and one day we will be closer.

    Sure it is hard somedays but the times we are together we definitely make the most of.

    It can be done, but it does depend on the people.
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    Jul 07, 2010 5:04 PM GMT
    abflexman saidMy bf lives 4400 miles or and 8 hour flight away. But he is worth the distance and one day we will be closer.

    Sure it is hard somedays but the times we are together we definitely make the most of.

    It can be done, but it does depend on the people.


    Thanks guys! This has been really helpful to me.
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    Jul 07, 2010 6:45 PM GMT
    I believe you can...however with maturity and great amounts of trust. Love has not barrier to how it happens.

    Just be ready to spend the cash...
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    Jul 07, 2010 6:46 PM GMT
    nope. not unless its open. it wont happen
  • abflexman

    Posts: 121

    Jul 07, 2010 7:02 PM GMT
    Voice22 saidnope. not unless its open. it wont happen


    I disagree mate. Like I said earlier I feel it totally depends on the two people. If two people really want something they can achieve it.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Jul 07, 2010 7:06 PM GMT
    Time can be an issue, too - sooner or later, you have to get together, or so I think.

    My partner and I did the distance thing for 9 years, and under wrote the phone company and the airline - but there was never any chance of my letting him go, of of being anything but monogamous.

    The whole thing had some advantages, too: I think we got to know eachother in ways that might have taken much longer, had we been together; put bluntly, we were able to talk and explore a lot of issues that raging hormones would probably have put on the back burner, so that when we did move in, we both had a pretty firm idea who we each were, and who "we" were.

    Nat
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jul 07, 2010 7:09 PM GMT
    I just entered a relationship with a guy I met on this site, we met in person for the first time over the fourth of july weekend, we had a blast, the best five days of my life, it was well worth the wait, the only problem is that since he's gone I kind of been depressed, but I'm going to visit him very soon...
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    Jul 07, 2010 7:19 PM GMT
    im saying this in the nicest way possible, but no they don't. i'm not saying that as a total rule, but I have NEVER seen it work.

    Just my opinion.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jul 07, 2010 7:29 PM GMT
    I never thought I'd be in a long distance relationship, but if I didn't give it a chance it would have been the biggest mistake of my life
  • Sanlara

    Posts: 10

    Jul 07, 2010 7:36 PM GMT
    Nope, I don't believe in long-distance relationships...and I do agree with Voice22
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 07, 2010 7:45 PM GMT
    Voice22 saidnope. not unless its open. it wont happen



    Geez...I guess mine's imaginary.....
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Jul 07, 2010 8:00 PM GMT
    The romantic in me says....loves withstands temptation ...but the rational part says most are weak and distance enables unknown cheating by others....I'm split on this one....BUD
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    Jul 07, 2010 8:12 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said
    Voice22 saidnope. not unless its open. it wont happen



    Geez...I guess mine's imaginary.....


    Haha...beware the absolutes. I've been in two, and they both ended up working well, that is, until we realized that we were never going to be in the same place. Then poof. My advice is to make sure you two communicate constantly. It is all you will have during the times you are apart. If that fails, it may be difficult to maintain.

    It is also important to set very specific ground rules concerning the relationship, open or closed. This will curb uncertainty, as long as you all are honest, trustful, and willing. I also found it helpful to set specific dates you all plan on visiting in advance! I'd would also suggest that when one of the visits comes to an end, make arrangements for the next visit with one another before you leave town. I mean, buy the tickets and everything. It can be reassuring to know that you will see each other again down the road. If money is tight, you might try a rendezvous point in the middle, or an inexpensive location. Think of it as a mini-vaci.

    A great way to stay in contact is also a care package! We would send one every 2-3 weeks with photos of what we were up to, a hand written letter (even though we were e-mailing, talking on the phone), and whatever else seemed appropriate.

    I guess all in all just do your best to keep the lines of communication open and keep it as fresh as possible. Good luck!
  • abflexman

    Posts: 121

    Jul 07, 2010 8:16 PM GMT
    Graphite_HBI'd would also suggest that when one of the visits comes to an end, make arrangements for the next visit with one another before you leave town


    I agree with this, it sure does help and gives you both something to look forward to.
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    Jul 07, 2010 8:17 PM GMT
    been in 2 huh? what happend? they didnt work out icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 07, 2010 8:17 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said
    Voice22 saidnope. not unless its open. it wont happen



    Geez...I guess mine's imaginary.....


    11.5 years is never imaginary dont listen to people who probably never had a relationship in their lives to start with.
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    Jul 07, 2010 8:21 PM GMT
    Its possible. It's rare (like Halley's Comet rare), but it is definitely possible.
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    Jul 07, 2010 8:23 PM GMT
    I truly believe that it can work but both have to keep in mind of each other in all endeavors. Me and my mate are far. Now, he is close working in PA for a while and we plan to spend a lot of times together before and if he goes back but we promise that in all of our future plans that we would think of us so we can be closer one day so now. I start living, working for the idea of us getting together someday. You cant just pick up and leave, you have bills and etc... But if you are serious and it permits, just start planning your relationship around those ideas and happy times. Families have done it a long time when immigration was a big issue, military and so forth. It depends on the love, " maturity " and learning to keep your dick in your pants for someone else. Its amazing what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it....
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    Jul 07, 2010 8:25 PM GMT
    Voice22 saidbeen in 2 huh? what happend? they didnt work out icon_razz.gif


    Yes, mine did not work out, but that does not mean that they won't work out. It is important to make the distinction. I know people who were in them with great success and have been with each other for 12+ years. I know others that have crashed and burned by month 4.

    Point is, there is no reason to try it, and if both individuals are willing.
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    Jul 07, 2010 8:28 PM GMT
    Graphite_HB said
    Voice22 saidbeen in 2 huh? what happend? they didnt work out icon_razz.gif


    Yes, mine did not work out, but that does not mean that they won't work out. It is important to make the distinction. I know people who were in them with great success and have been with each other for 12+ years. I know others that have crashed and burned by month 4.

    Point is, there is no reason to try it, and if both individuals are willing, I say go for it.


    my point was jsut that its not a very good example if it didnt work.
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    Jul 07, 2010 8:30 PM GMT
    MrNomore said
    HndsmKansan said
    Voice22 saidnope. not unless its open. it wont happen



    Geez...I guess mine's imaginary.....


    11.5 years is never imaginary dont listen to people who probably never had a relationship in their lives to start with.


    whys it gotta be an attack? grow the fuck up
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    Jul 07, 2010 8:43 PM GMT
    don't work for me. tried x2.