I think I've used religion as a closet scapegoat

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    Jul 07, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    Up front, I realize some people have had extremely strong conflicts with religious beliefs and family, so I don't want this to come across as a universal observation.

    However, tell me if this jives. I think in my personal case, religion has actually been a useful scapegoat when retreating to staying in the closet about attraction. There's an immediate excuse for why you treat the opposite sex differently or remain abstinent for long stretches. I'm starting to think for some religion just becomes extremely convenient, rather than being a conflict.

    Has anyone else come across this angle, either personally or in friends?
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    Jul 07, 2010 10:37 PM GMT
    Religion has been used by many gay people as an excuse for not having sexual relations with the opposite sex since it has a built-in excuse. I used religion as an excuse in high school and part of college. I also used to believe in high school that if I prayed hard enough God would change me...and if he didn't, it was somehow my fault. I was very sad and confused since I lived in a small town and the rest of my family wasn't very religious. I thought religion was the only thing that would save me, even though it made me depressed and suicidal.
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    Jul 07, 2010 10:43 PM GMT
    lissenup said I also used to believe in high school that if I prayed hard enough God would change me...and if he didn't, it was somehow my fault.


    I figure if I pray for God to change me and he doesn't, then he doesn't want me to change.
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    Jul 07, 2010 11:51 PM GMT
    MaybeJustKinda said
    lissenup said I also used to believe in high school that if I prayed hard enough God would change me...and if he didn't, it was somehow my fault.


    I figure if I pray for God to change me and he doesn't, then he doesn't want me to change.
    That is the best "religious" quote I've ever seen.
    I'm gonna call my mom tonight and instigate a religious debate. Oops I meant tell her that quote.
    Thanks! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 08, 2010 12:17 AM GMT
    MaybeJustKinda said
    lissenup said I also used to believe in high school that if I prayed hard enough God would change me...and if he didn't, it was somehow my fault.


    I figure if I pray for God to change me and he doesn't, then he doesn't want me to change.


    Me too. If you truly believe in God you've got to believe he wouldn't make you in a way that wasn't pleasing to Him.
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    Jul 08, 2010 12:22 AM GMT
    If GOD is perfect and he doesn't make junk or mistakes...he knows how he made you and is OK with it...so you should be too! icon_cool.gif
  • rafiki87

    Posts: 331

    Jul 08, 2010 12:45 AM GMT
    The passage that I turn to for this is 1 John 4 :7-8 . "My dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Those who do not love have not known God, for God is love."

    It reminds me that it does not matter who you love, but how you love since when you love you are manifesting God itself.

    Don't see anything wrong with accepting the fact that you can only love another man intimately instead of a woman.
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    Jul 08, 2010 12:46 AM GMT
    someguy said
    MaybeJustKinda said
    lissenup said I also used to believe in high school that if I prayed hard enough God would change me...and if he didn't, it was somehow my fault.


    I figure if I pray for God to change me and he doesn't, then he doesn't want me to change.


    Me too. If you truly believe in God you've got to believe he wouldn't make you in a way that wasn't pleasing to Him.


    Exactly!
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Jul 08, 2010 2:31 AM GMT
    MaybeJustKinda saidUp front, I realize some people have had extremely strong conflicts with religious beliefs and family, so I don't want this to come across as a universal observation.

    However, tell me if this jives. I think in my personal case, religion has actually been a useful scapegoat when retreating to staying in the closet about attraction. There's an immediate excuse for why you treat the opposite sex differently or remain abstinent for long stretches. I'm starting to think for some religion just becomes extremely convenient, rather than being a conflict.

    Has anyone else come across this angle, either personally or in friends?


    i agree
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    Jul 08, 2010 2:47 AM GMT
    Blaming religion is the the easiest (and most cliched) thing in the world to do.
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    Jul 08, 2010 2:57 AM GMT
    lissenup saidReligion has been used by many gay people as an excuse for not having sexual relations with the opposite sex since it has a built-in excuse. I used religion as an excuse in high school and part of college. I also used to believe in high school that if I prayed hard enough God would change me...and if he didn't, it was somehow my fault. I was very sad and confused since I lived in a small town and the rest of my family wasn't very religious. I thought religion was the only thing that would save me, even though it made me depressed and suicidal.


    This happened to me as well
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Jul 08, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    ditto ^

    This passage saved my life:
    "There is no Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female. You are all are all one in Christ Jesus." gal3:28
  • bumblejacket

    Posts: 66

    Jul 08, 2010 3:51 AM GMT
    fizzle saidditto ^

    This passage saved my life:
    "There is no Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female. You are all are all one in Christ Jesus." gal3:28


    Same here. I was really unhappy for a long period of time because of how I felt and prayed to God to change me. Whenever I felt that attraction, I've asked God to take it away from me. I hated myself . The only time I felt much better about myself was when I read the theological section at this website - g0ys.org. Just like anything else, they have some statements there that I do not agree with but so far I love their theological section the most. Some of the Bible quotes that they used are stated here in this forum page also. I am not trying to promote the website, I am just here to say my journey so far, and how I found my way.