My Partner.....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2010 6:11 PM GMT
    I'll be honest, i really don't like the word "partner" when introducing your significant other....why can't you just say "and this is my boyfriend/husband"??? just like straight people do, it's not any different, they don't refer to their significant others as their "partner". It just sounds weird to me....

    what do you think?
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    Jul 08, 2010 9:11 PM GMT
    I agree, if I had a boyfriend, I would just say this is my boyfriend. Or if I were married I would say this is my super hot husband icon_smile.gif
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Jul 08, 2010 9:24 PM GMT
    a boyfriend I might break up with. My husband, well depends on company, since some of my friend have had legal marriage I hold that term. I think partner means even more. He is my life partner, he isn't going anywhere no matter what.
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    Jul 08, 2010 9:27 PM GMT
    I use partner personally. I don't have a problem with saying husband, but partner (to me) seems more appropriate as we're in it (life) together. Although on occasion I will refer to him as my heart.
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Jul 08, 2010 9:41 PM GMT
    I don't like it "partner" either. Maybe if I lived in Texas... Howdy Partner...
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    Jul 08, 2010 9:49 PM GMT
    I think it depends on the situation..

    Boyfriend seems really casual.. Husband seems super official.. and Partner seems cautious to me.

    I've always said boyfriend because.. that's.. kinda what felt normal.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 08, 2010 9:58 PM GMT
    Partner has become the Default recognition name of choice
    basically because all the rest of the names you could use are worse

    Boyfriend (BF) - sounds like you're dating someone in Highschool
    Oooh he's my Boyfriend and we're going out every night this week icon_rolleyes.gif

    Significant Other sounds like you're planning a prenuptial agreement and you're contacting your lawyer

    Husband is way too marriage-y .... and means that there's somewhere out there .... a wife

    .... and Lover???? icon_confused.gif Where's the Lava Lamp?

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    Jul 08, 2010 9:59 PM GMT
    Latenight30 saida boyfriend I might break up with. My husband, well depends on company, since some of my friend have had legal marriage I hold that term. I think partner means even more. He is my life partner, he isn't going anywhere no matter what.


    but then what is a husband? you get married to live the rest of your lives together like "life partners" right? whether boyfriend, husband or life partner for all 3 unfortunately there is a possibility that you could break up right? hopefully not, but it could happen. Therefore, in my opinion I don't see how partner would be more meaningful, what do you think?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:01 PM GMT
    GQjock saidPartner has become the Default recognition name of choice
    basically because all the rest of the names you could use are worse

    Boyfriend (BF) - sounds like you're dating someone in Highschool
    Oooh he's my Boyfriend and we're going out every night this week icon_rolleyes.gif

    Significant Other sounds like you're planning a prenuptial agreement and you're contacting your lawyer

    Husband is way too marriage-y .... and means that there's somewhere out there .... a wife

    .... and Lover???? icon_confused.gif Where's the Lava Lamp?



    GQ....what do we call this person then? hahahaha HEY YOU???? icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:02 PM GMT
    I'd say- This is my Top stud icon_twisted.gif LOL

    I don't like saying this is my partner either, it sounds weird.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 08, 2010 10:04 PM GMT
    crazycool said
    GQjock saidPartner has become the Default recognition name of choice
    basically because all the rest of the names you could use are worse

    Boyfriend (BF) - sounds like you're dating someone in Highschool
    Oooh he's my Boyfriend and we're going out every night this week icon_rolleyes.gif

    Significant Other sounds like you're planning a prenuptial agreement and you're contacting your lawyer

    Husband is way too marriage-y .... and means that there's somewhere out there .... a wife

    .... and Lover???? icon_confused.gif Where's the Lava Lamp?



    GQ....what do we call this person then? hahahaha HEY YOU???? icon_razz.gif


    Try My (Top) or (Bottom) for the Moment
    Clear and to the point
    also a great Thanksgiving dinner conversation starter
    icon_wink.gif

    Actually I use partner ... not a great label but it works icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:05 PM GMT
    I was going to put in my 2c, but then I got distracted by your new back picture and forgot the question. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:11 PM GMT
    GQjock saidPartner has become the Default recognition name of choice
    basically because all the rest of the names you could use are worse

    Boyfriend (BF) - sounds like you're dating someone in Highschool
    Oooh he's my Boyfriend and we're going out every night this week icon_rolleyes.gif

    Significant Other sounds like you're planning a prenuptial agreement and you're contacting your lawyer

    Husband is way too marriage-y .... and means that there's somewhere out there .... a wife

    .... and Lover???? icon_confused.gif Where's the Lava Lamp?



    I can understand why many LGBT folks latched on to the word "partner." It makes little sense (to me at least) to use "husband" or "wife" if you and your significant other are not married. Marriage is still unavailable to most of us, so "partner" seems more suitable.

    But I don't like "partner." It just sounds odd to me--it's charmless and love-less. Perhaps it's because I didn't grow up hearing it.

    I don't mind "boyfriend," especially when used to describe someone new. There's something childlike and innocent about new fondness and admiration that makes "boyfriend" an okay term to me.

    "Significant other" is too long, but it serves an important purpose: it's much easier to discuss romance with a stranger whose sexual orientation you're unsure of.

    "Husband" is my favorite. If we're so GUNGHO about gay marriage, why should we shy away from words like "husband" and "wife"?
  • Peteyboy583

    Posts: 32

    Jul 08, 2010 10:14 PM GMT
    I call my significant other my boyfriend. It fits nicely, and implies to the parents exactly what we want it to right now. When we move onto that part of our relationship, we will decide if it is "partner" or "husband." I gotta be frank though, I'm leaning toward "husband." icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:14 PM GMT
    BlkMuscleGent said
    "Husband" is my favorite. If we're so GUNGHO about gay marriage, why should we shy away from words like "husband" and "wife"?


    I shy away from that because to me they have a possessive connotation.

    I prefer boyfriend or spouse, whichever the case may be.

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    Jul 08, 2010 10:19 PM GMT
    viveutvivas said
    BlkMuscleGent said
    "Husband" is my favorite. If we're so GUNGHO about gay marriage, why should we shy away from words like "husband" and "wife"?


    I shy away from that because to me they have a possessive connotation.

    I prefer boyfriend or spouse, whichever the case may be.



    So. . .you just have commitment issues? icon_lol.gif hahahaha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:24 PM GMT
    Each one has a different meaning... there's also 'my guy' and 'my fuck buddy..' Just use the one you feel comfortable with. I've also heard heterosexual couples refer to their spouses as partners.. Partner seems like you're both in it 50/50- equals.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:32 PM GMT
    I prefer to say: "This is Jack."

    Calling them something other than their name objectifies them in a way that makes me uncomfortable.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:36 PM GMT
    crazycool saidwhat do you think?

    These terms are relative. We live in Florida, where Republicans have worked to prevent any possibility of gay marriage. So the term we commonly use is "partner" which we all understand here.

    The word itself is unimportant to me. It could be husband, or anything else. Personally, I like husband.

    But I know when I introduce my husband as my "partner" outside of our gay community, there might be some straights who think I mean he's my business partner. I wish I could legally call him my husband, and he the same for me.

    But Republicans have seen to it this is illegal in Florida, and in US Federal law (DOMA). And yet there are some here who wonder why I hate Republicans, even though [GASP] I could agree with some of their economic positions. Well, just a few, not about their raping & pillaging the working middle class... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 08, 2010 10:41 PM GMT
    I like the term "partner" over bf or "husband" any day of the week.

    "Boyfriend" implies something recent, and in my mind a relationship that
    "hadn't developed permanence". "Partner" implies that... and a lot more..
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 08, 2010 10:41 PM GMT
    Call him by whatever title with which you're both happy.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:42 PM GMT
    I have heard straight couples use the term partner now too. Granted, they are hippy-dippy liberals, but bless their hearts for being so progressive.

    I, personally, like the term partner. Boyfriend and husband are such marriage-centric terms and I don't think some piece of paper in city hall should be the defining characteristic of a relationship.

    But partner is a bit cold. Romantic-partner has a similar ring to business-partner. It will be an awkward transition from the age of marriage.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:46 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidSo for me.. I'd say husband.

    Me, too. Or sometimes the more affectionate nickname "hubby."

    He is my husband, and I am his. No matter what US Republicans say, and Roman Catholics and other religious groups, that is what we are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:46 PM GMT
    Is there a double-standard lurking in this thread?

    The consensus on RJ seems to be YES, GAYS SHOULD HAVE MARRIAGE TOO.

    But more than just a few guys don't want HUSBAND, the term that comes with MARRIAGE.

    I'm surprised. What's the deal?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2010 10:51 PM GMT
    Lol i do know exactly what you mean.

    However, having been with "partner" for nearly ten years now, I grew out of that.

    My change in opinion is helped by the fact that many straight non-married couples (more and more common among the middle classes) now use the same term in the UK.

    Nowadays I have to say (to those not in the know), " my partner ... he's a he, by the way ..."

    Life, eh?

    Oh if only I were mincey.