He's 33...I'm 20.

  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Jul 11, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    I don't know if I should even go on a date with him. I imagined my first date as with someone closer to me in age. I don't know if I want to go out with him. What should I do?

    I don't even actually know him, we just ran into each other on an internet dating site and I don't see that we have that much in common.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 11, 2010 12:56 AM GMT
    A single date isn't much of a commitment. You have no obligations other than to be polite and honest. You might at least gain a new friend.
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    Jul 11, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    If you don't have much in common I wouldn't really go on a date with him. The conversation may have more awkward pauses then you'd like. Plus you don't even know him.

    I'd find someone closer to your age to go on a date with as someone around your age is likely to have more in common with you. You can make friends with him though as Timberoo said.
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:06 AM GMT
    Exactly the ages that my first lover and I were when we met. I was 20, he was 33. It was the best relationship of my life. I made the mistake of leaving him. I regret that choice. I was a fool.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Jul 11, 2010 3:19 AM GMT
    Timberoo saidA single date isn't much of a commitment. You have no obligations other than to be polite and honest. You might at least gain a new friend.


    I agree. If you have some attraction, or you like what you have in common, go on a date. You're not making any promises to him. You're as much in the driver's seat on the date as he is.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 11, 2010 3:22 AM GMT
    Brah this is called a wasted date.....if you got nothing to common...call him and tell him it's a no go....BUD
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:23 AM GMT
    My friend looks like he's 19, but he's actually 30. He introduced me to his bf who is actually 18... I kinda just gawked at him.
    I'm not going to judge, but even I'm thinking to myself, "WTF is wrong with my friend".

    I find that dating older guys, most (def not all) tend to be more secure with who they are and what they want. I prefer guys 1-2 years around my age icon_biggrin.gif

    Good for you though!
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:24 AM GMT
    Timberoo saidA single date isn't much of a commitment. You have no obligations other than to be polite and honest. You might at least gain a new friend.

    I agree. [To the OP] Take a chance, see how it goes. An older guy might be a treasure-trove of wisdom & experience he can share with you. And BTW, my partner is 14 years older than me, which is LESS than the age difference between you 2. Of course I do realize at our age that gap is less daunting than when you're just 20 like yourself.

    Ya know, every date isn't an engagement to get married. It's the way you learn and gain experience, so that when Mr. Right finally does come along, you'll know him. And so you'll also know Mr. Wrong, too, if he happens to cross your path.

    And here's the best part about exploring relationships, and building up your personal knowledge base: it can be a lot of fun! I've met lots of guys who simply became my friends, even though we soon knew we weren't going to become BFs, much less lifelong partners. It beats sitting at home! Just relish the pleasure of meeting other gay guys, maybe doing something intimate with them (safely), and simply enjoy life. At 20, it's all before you.
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:28 AM GMT
    go on the date....no big deal, no prior intentions...just have a good time.
    Im 31 now, my boyfriend is 40. When we met I was 24 and he was 33...it really wasnt a big deal...I have friends who are 20-22 and I think they are kinda young, and they definitely have a different interpretation of dating and relationships, etc....so take heed, and be honest with him upfront about your intentions....just so he doesnt go all falling in love and such after one night icon_smile.gif

    good luck man!
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:30 AM GMT
    Get to know him. You never know what's your future hold
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:37 AM GMT
    Give him the chance of at least becoming a friend. You never know where it could lead. icon_smile.gif
  • Hunter9

    Posts: 1039

    Jul 11, 2010 3:41 AM GMT
    the very first thing i had to learn when i came out was learning how to say 'no.' there's no reason you have to say yes to anyone for anything. if you're not interested, the answer is easy
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:47 AM GMT
    fizzle saidI don't know if I should even go on a date with him. I imagined my first date as with someone closer to me in age. I don't know if I want to go out with him. What should I do?

    I don't even actually know him, we just ran into each other on an internet dating site and I don't see that we have that much in common.


    you 'ran into each other' on the internet? are you just going on a date for the hell of it? or did something about him pique your interest? if you're interested in some way, what have you got to lose... he's probably not an ax murderer just because he's 13 years older than you. of course if i were him, i wouldn't date you until you turned 21... LOL.
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:50 AM GMT
    Hunter9 saidthe very first thing i had to learn when i came out was learning how to say 'no.' there's no reason you have to say yes to anyone for anything. if you're not interested, the answer is easy


    Gonna have to wholeheartedly agree with Hunter. Saying "no" is perfectly fine. The cliche is true: there are lots of fish in the sea—even the seemingly small and inadequately stocked gay sea.
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:51 AM GMT
    my 2 cents... totally ingnoring the age factor.

    is there a attraction
    do you have things in common

    since you have a pretty good idea of the answer to these question why bother at the same time since you barely know them 1 date couldnt hurt to find out if you see something different. even without alot of things in common if you have a interence in what he like to do and he care about what you do then its not a major issue. ~_~

    im reading that and should follow it....lol

    i find that if you have to ask ask should i then you probally shouldnt or dont really want to do it...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:52 AM GMT
    If you don't know you want to go on a date with him you probably shouldn't. You should be excited about the prospect and looking forward to it every hour of the day until it comes.
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    Jul 11, 2010 3:57 AM GMT
    fizzle saidI don't know if I should even go on a date with him. I imagined my first date as with someone closer to me in age. I don't know if I want to go out with him. What should I do?

    I don't even actually know him, we just ran into each other on an internet dating site and I don't see that we have that much in common.


    Life's too short matey, go with the flow...

    You might end up with a magic friend at the very least!
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    Jul 11, 2010 4:00 AM GMT
    I wonder about that sometimes but just like some say two men cant be together a younger and a bit older person should try being together, they can teach each other so much.. Just dont come with preconceived notations be open minded
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    Jul 11, 2010 4:07 AM GMT
    Timberoo saidA single date isn't much of a commitment. You have no obligations other than to be polite and honest. You might at least gain a new friend.



    He is under obligation if the "internet dating" site he used is manhunt.com
  • Hunter9

    Posts: 1039

    Jul 11, 2010 4:08 AM GMT
    Xian_Buffed saidThe cliche is true: there are lots of fish in the sea—even the seemingly small and inadequately stocked gay sea.


    haha, so true
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 11, 2010 4:10 AM GMT
    my first bf was when i was 19 and he was 32. i'm so thankful i have him in my life.
  • Parthenope

    Posts: 6

    Jul 11, 2010 4:12 AM GMT
    I wouldn't sweat about the age thing. My partner and I are 13 years apart.

    What does matter is if you don't have anything in common at all. That just spells disaster. One question, though: are you sure you don't have anything at all in common? You did mention that you don't know him that well...

    As previously mentioned, a date does not mean you're headed toward the altar. The purpose of a date is to see if there is any sort of connection.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 11, 2010 4:12 AM GMT
    I'm 26 and he's 60. No problems for me!
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    Jul 11, 2010 4:17 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidI'm 26 and he's 60. No problems for me!



    Hmmm, so there is hope for me (at 40).

    As for Fizzle's issue: If you don't think you don't have anything in common with this 33 year old, call him, be honest and direct, but let him know. Don't shy away from being effectively communicative! But one date isn't going to hurt you! Just don't quiet down in front of him -- find some interesting things to talk about. The most that can happen if you don't see yourself with someone like him is gaining a friend with experienced insight that could help you.
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    Jul 11, 2010 4:19 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidI'm 26 and he's 60. No problems for me!


    I am NOT 60. I'm only 45. icon_wink.gif