I do know what to do, maybe you could help????

  • bennyboo

    Posts: 48

    Jul 12, 2010 5:09 AM GMT
    ok so heres the situation, i live with roomates who are married, they are both very good friends we have fun and they are easy going. well they are having problems in their marriage, they have been together for 10 years. we went to LA for the weekend everything was great it was all good until this morning, shit hit the fan.... and i was there to see it.....icon_eek.gif not good. i guess she got a text from a guy shes been talking to at five in the morning, she saids the guys a freind or whatever but they do hangout a lot...the text read "i still want to fuck you" from what he was yelling....so im sleeping and he wakes me and was like lets go...lets go....im like whats going on...then shes all like dont get him invloved in our problems....so then it was an all out screaming match...she was throwing shit it got heated...i literally just grabbed some shorts and walked out of the hotel....so i was in the car trying to sleep and then i hear a tap in the window at ten am....so they were argiung for like five hours....icon_rolleyes.gif she gets in the car and were like this is it were so done...im done with him....were divorcing and she starts talking to about the "guy friend" and confessed to me that they have fucked once....i was like ok you know what i dont want to know anymore you guys are both good friends and you guys need to figure out shit on your own...when we got back home they were lovey dovy one second and fighting the next.... so i left..... later he calls me crying me and comes to my friends house and starts balling to me that he doesnt want this and what did he do wrong....he was like all up on me...icon_confused.gif then he got a phone call and left...i dont know what to do??? they both keep on asking me what should they do??? and not to leave them.... that they both need me right now...i dont know what to tell them.....im at a loss for words....and im talking to one and the other is blowing up my phone.....i keep on telling them to leave me alone i cant make the decisions for them....they need to figure shit out on their own...... should i look for another place to live???? im getting so tired of hearing about their problems....im trying to be a good friend but i have my own life..... they always want to talk to me..if its not one its the other... he just called me telling me that he leaving....hes gonna stay at a friends.... im scared that this going to make this worse and im going to be torn between them.... should i just stay and see what happens??? what do you think???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 5:18 AM GMT
    GET OUT!

    RUN!

    GTFO!

    HIDE!

    TURN OFF YOUR PHONE...SCREEN ALL TEXTS!

    KEEP OUT OF THEIR FIGHT IF YOU WANT TO KEEP EITHER OR BOTH AS FRIENDS!
  • bennyboo

    Posts: 48

    Jul 12, 2010 5:25 AM GMT
    i work with the guy...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 5:51 AM GMT
    bennyboo said...... should i look for another place to live????
    lyk duh!!!
  • bennyboo

    Posts: 48

    Jul 12, 2010 5:56 AM GMT
    well i want to get another place but where else could i find a place for 200 dollars a month...thats the only reason why im hesident to leave
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 6:04 AM GMT
    bennyboo saidi work with the guy...



    Are you a marriage councilor? or otherwise involved in their relationship? NO? Cheap rent or not...KEEP THE HELL OUT OF THEIR PROBLEMS! Best way to mess up your relationship with either or both is to take a side or even be part of this. Keep the phone ready in case of physical violence, but breaking shit (unless it is yours) and screaming and crying...keep out....icon_rolleyes.gif
  • bennyboo

    Posts: 48

    Jul 12, 2010 6:09 AM GMT
    thanks guys.... i mean trust me i tried to keep out of their business i told them both many times that i dont want to know about thier problems nor do i have the answers to fix them...ive sat them down together but they just dont get it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 2:05 PM GMT
    Guys, these are very good friends of the OP, aren't they? If you had really good friends and this happened to them would you just bail and walk?

    bennyboo, you could always sit them down together and explain you won't pick sides (although, you know, she did screw up and cheat on her man, UGH).

    Tell them to seek counseling.

    I was in a situation ( a few times) similar to yours. I always kept an open door with a shoulder for them to cry on. I stated in clear language I would not pick sides. A couple of times the couple in question was gay. A couple of times straight.


    -Doug
  • mtneerman

    Posts: 476

    Jul 12, 2010 3:37 PM GMT
    i agree with meninlove (again.) they need a friend right now to talk to, even if it's just to vent. i'm sure it's awkward, but just make sure they know your not going to take sides, but since they are both still coming to you, they must have figured that out already. give it some time, but not unlimited time, cause that's no way to live tong term. try to convince them to see a marriage counselor.