tacky or turnoff?

  • mtneerman

    Posts: 476

    Jul 12, 2010 9:29 AM GMT
    i live in a small town so virtually all my dates come from online meetings. i state clearly in my profiles that i'm interested in dates and not hook-ups, so the guys that chat with me tell me they are interested in a date with me. lately there has been several guys that feel the need to share their current sex lives with me. one guy, while talking to him on the phone, told me he had to get off the phone so he could go to the college bar to find a hookup, then proceeds to tell me what he does and doesn't do with these hookups. just yesterday a guy told me about his friend, and how much of a pig he was in bed, including sounding...ouch! i am not at all bothered that these guys are having sex, but why the need to tell me? especially after chatting just a short time and wanting a date. i find it a complete turnoff and stop chatting with them. is it common now to tell a potential date this much info? am i overreacting?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 10:47 AM GMT
    That's totally classless and you are right to drop-kick them to the curb asap!

    I think it's the equivalent of guys on online profiles showing photos of them with some other guy's cock in their ass or mouth - nothing would put me off quicker! Yeah we get that you're not a virgin, everyone's had a sexual past before you meet them, but you don't need to thrust it in their face (so to speak).

    I think it's incredibly rude they would mention stuff like that to you while chatting, hope you can find some decent guys to date!
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    Jul 12, 2010 11:02 AM GMT
    Its a turn off, why would I or you care what they are doing to some random guy but for them it maybe a huge turn on to discuss their sex life with someone new.
  • mtneerman

    Posts: 476

    Jul 12, 2010 11:37 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]NickFit said[/cite]

    I think it's the equivalent of guys on online profiles showing photos of them with some other guy's cock in their ass or mouth [quote]

    that's a huge turn off for me as well. if i want to look at porn i know where to find it. another turn off is when a guy messages me saying he's looking for a date or relationship and his name is bangmyassnow.
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jul 12, 2010 11:47 AM GMT
    Yeah, big turnoff for sure.

    I think the motive behind it is to entice you to change your mind about the hooking up. Maybe if they let you know how it easy it is, you'll acquiesce. That, or they doubt you're being totally honest about not wanting to hook up. Almost every guy on this website says no hookups in their profile, for example, but I'm sure some of them partake in the online booty call.

    Good luck in your search, I hope you find a keeper!
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    Jul 12, 2010 11:50 AM GMT
    mtneerman saidanother turn off is when a guy messages me saying he's looking for a date or relationship and his name is bangmyassnow.


    LMAO!! Yeah I remember those sort back in the day! God, I'm glad I don't have to trawl through all that rubbish anymore! But, do persevere because the good ones are out there too!
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    Jul 12, 2010 4:28 PM GMT
    Yeaaaaaaa..... FAIL
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 12, 2010 4:32 PM GMT
    If you are looking for a date, I'd rather not hear about their hookup exploits.
    If thats what you're getting, I'd look elsewhere. I'd rather hear about THEM and who they are.. especially if its about dating.
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    Jul 12, 2010 4:36 PM GMT
    I wouldn't put up with that nonsense. I'd ditch a guy like that fast.
  • mke_bt

    Posts: 707

    Jul 12, 2010 4:38 PM GMT

    It's kind of a reflection of society in general. How many times have you experienced someone carrying on a private phone conversation in a public place?
    Some people just don't have any boundaries or internal censorship.
    There are some gentlemen out there who possess good manners. Just be patient.



    (Oh god, if I keep telling myself that it will come true).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 5:32 PM GMT
    I agree, and think that kind of thing is a turn off and very frustrating, but you have to take responsibility for your choice of looking for a quality man on m4m sites that are sexually charged. I think amateur pornos are disgusting (gimme pro-porn any day) and the number of guys who squat in front of a camera and post pictures is mind blowing. Most people who log onto m4m sites are out for a quick internet thrill, and that means they are not appropriate for you.

    If you can find a website that's just for regular guys to chat and enjoy being social, besides realjock.com, let me know, but most people, when they think of m4m on the internet have to start stroking their cocks immediately, and they think you are somehow not telling the truth if you say NO HOOKUPS.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 5:38 PM GMT
    Yea, to me it's like when guys bluntly ask, "What are you into?" during a first chat. It makes it feel like a cattle call, like any sort of sex life we might possibly have had has been immediately rendered a standardized "check" on the old to-do list. If we don't have some kind of clear chemistry, and you can't read that chemistry, and you're not open to chemistry being different with different guys, then we're probably not a match.
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    Jul 12, 2010 8:52 PM GMT
    Yeah.. When I'm interested in someone the LAST thing I want to hear about is their sexual exploits with anybody else. That would be a huge turn off and immediately make me feel awkward.

    I think that falls under the manners category but.. I'm pretty traditional in my.. courting.. lol
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    Jul 12, 2010 10:24 PM GMT
    Oy vey...no class anymore.
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    Jul 12, 2010 10:28 PM GMT
    yea, If you are trying to go on a date with someone that may be a potential bf or sexual interest or whatever, you sure as hell don't want to hear about them fucking everybody else...complete turn off for me also.

    I had a guy we would talk on the phone as we were hours apart and he would always tell me how I was the only man for him and he was "waiting" for me.

    By the end of the conversation he was telling me how he was exposing himself to guys in the locker room at the gym and etc and how every man wanted him and etc....whatever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 10:30 PM GMT
    Wow Redbull...I think that gay guys totally separate love and sex, which is an issue...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    Only on RJ will you find guys talking about this as a classless act.... LOVE IT.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 10:32 PM GMT
    TMNT saidOnly on RJ will you find guys talking about this as a classless act.... LOVE IT.


    I know and it makes feel just a little less alone. I appreciate MOST of these forums. They usually make my day!
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    Jul 12, 2010 10:47 PM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidYeah, big turnoff for sure.

    I think the motive behind it is to entice you to change your mind about the hooking up. Maybe if they let you know how it easy it is, you'll acquiesce. That, or they doubt you're being totally honest about not wanting to hook up. Almost every guy on this website says no hookups in their profile, for example, but I'm sure some of them partake in the online booty call.

    Good luck in your search, I hope you find a keeper!


    that's exactly what the motive is.
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    Jul 12, 2010 11:08 PM GMT
    mtneerman said i am not at all bothered that these guys are having sex, but why the need to tell me?
    It's better to have everything open in the beginning of a potential relationship. That way you can make your decision early before getting attached to the future ex.

    Of course, those things take finesse and proper timing to talk about sometimes; and he may not have achieved that level of communication skills.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Jul 12, 2010 11:15 PM GMT
    Nervous, girlish chatter from insecure little things that have no business wasting anyone's time other than a restroom attendant.
    I have come to the disheartening conclusion that most men (read boys) are stuck in 'home room' and have yet to move on to how to be a man 101. Tacky, turn-off, childish crap. But, as my WV cousin' says "That's what you have to expect when you're out among'em."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    Ugh, well at least you're finding out who the gossipy loose lips are. If they're willing to blab this to someone they don't know very well, they'd no doubt blab about you if they go out with you.

    Those guys could also have some self image troubles and possibly think you'll be impressed with their prowess.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2010 1:28 AM GMT
    Consider yourself lucky. They've done you a favor and saved you from wasting your time.
    There is such a thing as "TMITS" (too much information too soon).

    It's tacky AND it's a turnoff.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2010 1:29 AM GMT
    A huge turn off for me as well. Why aren't there more quality guys out there?
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    Jul 13, 2010 1:31 AM GMT
    dsato17 saidA huge turn off for me as well. Why aren't there more quality guys out there?



    yawn.

    there are plenty of quality guys out there. most of you suffer from the "10 for 12" syndrome.