Do Texting & Trying to Start a Relationship Work?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2010 7:55 PM GMT
    What do you think of texting when trying to start a relationship with someone? Is this a good form of communication? It seems like more guys would rather text now. I prefer actually talking with someone though.
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    Jul 13, 2010 8:28 PM GMT
    I think as people become ever busier in their professional and personal lives, texting would be a sound, unintrusive method for communicating. However, you'd be surprised how cold people can be with indirect forms of communication such as texting and email. It is unclear to me if they are intentionally cold or not. But it leaves much ambiguity. What happens with the other person does not respond to a text for days? What happens if they simply stop texting? How do you assess where in the relationship cycle the two of you are? All unclear. However, I am sure that cowardly folks will use it to their advantage. Rather than say I am not interested in you, they could easily just stop texting.
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    Jul 13, 2010 8:38 PM GMT
    It worked for Kwame Kilpatrick for a while.

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    Jul 13, 2010 9:17 PM GMT
    heartrobb saidIt worked for Kwame Kilpatrick for a while.



    LOL, yah don't think it worked for them.
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:20 PM GMT
    I hate texting in general, but i think especially when it comes to a relationship, it's not good. When you're actually talking to someone in person (or on the phone i guess) you can give someone your total attention instead of texting quickly to get back to something else you were doing. You know?
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:25 PM GMT
    WEll, I think texting is fine within a relationship, to keep in touch while were both busy, but I doubt I could base a relationship on it.. you miss all the verbal and physical cues that give 90% of the communication
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:36 PM GMT
    I like texting when I first meet someone, as a friend. But I always like to meet, before the first phone call. I guess to me it makes talking on the phone less awkward, for me.

    I wouldn't rely only on text when starting a relationship.
  • Desmondlug

    Posts: 92

    Jul 13, 2010 9:38 PM GMT
    It really does not work because via text when a message is received you dont know what the person meant because you are not there in person. I prefer face to face .
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:42 PM GMT
    In the beginning of the relationship i try to stay as far away from texting as possible. There's a statistic somewhere that says something like 90% of communication is non verbal. So the way i see when you're texting someone yes, you know what they're saying, but a huge percentage of it's meaning is your perception of what you want it to be. That means you can either A be giving someone a false positive or B giving them a false negative based on how you want them to seem.
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:55 PM GMT
    Texting convey the potential ltr is not serious to me. It's cold actually hard to do even on new phones with keyboards. Misunderstandings get started over texting because it's hard to express emotions especially when your abbreviating cutting sentences to get it done quick.


    Only time texting would be ok would be already in a relationship and You are coming home after work something like "pick up some beer for dinner baby" lol
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:58 PM GMT
    I think it is fine as one form of communication but I'd rather just pick up the phone and call unless it is a very quick text to confirm time and place. If it takes more then two or three texts then it is easier just to talk.
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:58 PM GMT
    i think texting is fine when arranging small details in social planning such as, "I'm on my way. In traffic," or something similar. It can also be just a sweet way to say, "Thinking about you," during the work day. However, I have dated several guys that actually try to have full on discussions or even arguements via text. We use body language, facial experssions, and tones of voice to communicate certain emotion or non-verbal queues. I thiink texts could supplement communication, but should not be the main source.
  • allamathlete

    Posts: 81

    Jul 13, 2010 10:03 PM GMT
    i think it can work but just like any communication it depends on both parties. i'm at the beginning of dating someone and he lives in the southwest and i'm in mass. it seems to work really well for us... we have spent an entire day (literally from 9a-11p) talking to each other which we could never do via phone.
    we still try to talk at least once a day for about an hour. from the start it was clear neither of us enjoyed talking on the phone. we are pretty good about not reading into things and if its unclear what one of us is saying or we didn't elicit the response i expected... we simply ask, so we clear things up.
    i love texting probably send 2500+ a month and maybe use 75 minutes a month.

    sn: we hardly ever abbreviate or use short hand so it helps too.
  • 1man

    Posts: 140

    Jul 13, 2010 10:13 PM GMT
    I no longer accept or send text, not even friends and family, too much miscommunication and misunderstanding. If they can text then they should be able to call.
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    Jul 13, 2010 10:35 PM GMT
    In the end, if the two persons have never met face to face, any means of communication is stunted thereby limiting the actual development of the relationship.
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    Jul 13, 2010 11:09 PM GMT
    Texting is how my boyfriend and I communicate throughout the day. We save the big stuff we have to talk about for when we see each other.

    When we first started hanging out we didn't text or call much. We'd go for long walks and chat, or talk online.

    The important thing is general communication, not the means by which you communicate.
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:48 AM GMT
    I think it's a personal choice. If the choice is not agreed on by both people, it's not going to work.
    However, if one has a busy life and doesn't have many opportunities to talk, then texting is the only way it's going to work...or be patient and call when they're not busy.
    Personally, I hate even having the phone on me all the time, much less texting. I leave it at the hotel when I'm at the gym or the park. When I'm home, I turn it off to workout (or when I do anything else that requires concentration).
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:50 AM GMT
    sashaman saidI think it is fine as one form of communication but I'd rather just pick up the phone and call unless it is a very quick text to confirm time and place. If it takes more then two or three texts then it is easier just to talk.


    I agree with this too!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:51 AM GMT
    When you're a mail-order man-bride like me texting is perfectly practical communication with kind American executive from the States.
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    Jul 14, 2010 2:00 AM GMT
    Oh god I hate texting. I wish it had never been invented. It has screwed some of my prospects..
  • mtneerman

    Posts: 476

    Jul 14, 2010 2:09 AM GMT
    i think it's fine, my family, friends and myself are all texting whores. if that's the only communication tho, then i think there would be a problem.
  • zenny

    Posts: 229

    Jul 14, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    You guys ever heard of a "text and sex" relationship? Lmao. icon_lol.gif