Jalapeno Peppers- Story Time

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    Jul 13, 2010 8:59 PM GMT
    FYI.. I had a brief experience this past weekend with Jalapeno Peppers, I was having a cookout and I prepared some stuffed peppers, oh they are good, well I cut the peppers open cleaned out the seeds and prepared the peppers. Well apparently they were so strong about an hour later I went to pee, well you touch your Dick to pee, well remember I washed my hands after messing with the peppers, Well even after an hour later and going to the bathroom to pee, My Dick was on Fire which then caused me to have a huge boner at the same time. I was so embarrsed I had my parents over, my brother and his GF, It was my B-day for heavens sake, along with friends. So here I am dealing with a huge boner that is on Fire... Oh and the heat did not go away til like oh an hour later... It was an Nightmare tried to eat and open gifts with all that going on... I was using gifts to hide the statue in my pants. So the moral of the story.... when preparing peppers wash your hands say oh 10 times before you touch your dick. B-day part I will neve forget....Bahahahahahahhah...icon_redface.gif
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:02 PM GMT
    Happy Burnday!!! Oops I meant Birthday!!! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:09 PM GMT
    Thanks.. HAHAH like it Burnday!!!!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 13, 2010 9:20 PM GMT
    Quaker Steak & Lube actually has signs in the Men's Room to remind you to wash your hands BEFORE you piss, if you have had hot wings!
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    Jul 14, 2010 12:47 AM GMT
    well at least you didnt get any in ur eyes....hows the anus though??
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    Jul 14, 2010 12:58 AM GMT
    if you wash your hands with milk it usually gets rid of the burn. I've done that before to. I made quesadillas for my mom on mothers day and i forgot to wash my hands. i swear i thought it was going to burn off
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:05 AM GMT
    haha Jordan it always happens when the Mom is around right? lol
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:05 AM GMT
    Oh boy they can burn a lot later next morning. LOL
  • njnick

    Posts: 167

    Jul 14, 2010 1:07 AM GMT
    haha - funny story...i always wear gloves when cleaning hot peppers...
  • Twenty_Someth...

    Posts: 1388

    Jul 14, 2010 1:07 AM GMT
    Oh my god!!!! Thats too funny, I thought I was the only one who had had an episode like this. I had a guy over for lunch and we cooked jalapeno burgers. I went to the bathroom, peed, and soon after had a raging hard-on. I got a very nice bj shortly after, and the inside of his mouth was spicy too. It was mind-blowingly amazing. The combination of the spicy sensation coupled with pleasure that is...
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    Sorry, but that's waaay funny. I've never done it with a jalapeno pepper, but I have had a chocolate syrup rim job/blow job and a maple syrup rim job/blow job... the latter of which made for awesome kisses the next morning!
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    Fats and oils remove the burning sensation.
    Next time pour oil and rub on your fingers after touching hot peppers and then wash off the oil with soap and water.
    Milk and yogurt drinks help dissipate the burn in the mouth (think Indian Lassi drinks).
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:24 AM GMT
    A while ago, I made a pasta with an arrabiata sauce (spicy tomato sauce) and crushed some dried red chiles into it. I may have washed my hands afterward, but I don't remember. Well, after my BF and I had dinner, we were kinda making out, and I started playing with his ass a little. Within a couple of minutes, his eyes bugged out and he pushed me away. I asked, "what's wrong?" He asked, "what was on your fingers?" I immediately got it and said, "oh shit, the peppers!!" He ran to the bathroom sat bare-assed in the tub while he let the cold water run. It was so terrible, but I couldn't stop laughing. Eventually, everything settled down, and we had a great night, but the back door was off limits for the evening.
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:28 AM GMT
    Lol, been there, done that (peed that is) only it wasn't with jalapenos, it was with the small, mega scary pepper (not that I'm trying for one-up-man-ship here).

    At least you didn't rub your eyes.

    Although I'm not sure what's worse.

    Oh and it certainly didn't give me an erection.
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    Jul 14, 2010 1:32 AM GMT
    I have never had a situation quite like yours, thank you.
    I met my first boyfriend right after a similar experience with hot peppers. Before washing my hands, I sneezed. Lo and behold, my eyes were burning passionately. Or that's what I told him.
    My eyes were red with tears in them, there was snot coming out of my nose. I was trying to wash my face off, which only made it worse.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 14, 2010 2:03 AM GMT
    yeah... i've done that before (also got toothpaste in my eye and chili pepper up my nose). the trick to that is shampoo and conditioner. because the heat in peppers is spread by the oils of the capsaicin, washing your dick with shampoo (which removes oil from your hair) will make the pain go away.
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    Jul 14, 2010 3:06 AM GMT
    If you're going to be doing any work with peppers, use some sort of plastic barrier on your hands (gloves, sandwich bags, saran wrap, hell even plastic grocery bags work).

    Fat disolves the capsaicin in peppers (capsaicin = chemical compound that makes your mouth feel like it's burning). I've seen coworkers put a little oil on their hands after handing habanero peppers.

    Interesting side note: The actual flesh of the pepper has a very low concentration of capcaicin. If you want the flavor of some of the hotter peppers but without the heat, make sure to de-seed and scrape all of the inner, lighter, flesh off where most of the heat is held. That or just add butter, cream, or milk to a hot dish.