How to flirt-" MY" way

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2010 11:28 PM GMT
    So I'm going to be honest here-I'm not the best flirter in the world. I find myself getting awkward and simply ignoring the guy Im interested in because it's like a pressure cooker in my head. I only think of flirting as being cool, sly and nonchalant, and sexy/interested at the same time. In general I'm not cool, or sly. I've been described as awkward but in an endearing way (hey, at least its something.) Im just wondering how I can flirt in a way that expresses myself while still attracting teh boiz. Anyone here flirt alternatively/had an "awkward" flirting experience that worked?
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    Jul 15, 2010 12:46 AM GMT
    Well ain't you just the freaking cutest thing ever!!!!!

    Okay, I've made w few posts sbout this before but I'll make another one, just in hopes of getting some brownie points with you..

    Flirting, one, learn to giggle if you haven't already, smile constantly at hotties, but i don't mean freskishly, you aren't suppose to be eye raping them where ever they go, just give them a small smile when you spot a hot guy.

    Now we get down to personality, go with your personality, why are you awkward? Well you said it your self, you've a pressure pot in your head. Flirting is not about the pressure you don't hsve to be an amazing flirt you just need to flirt most guys and girls will pick up on a flirtatious phrase or body language subconsciously and respond accordingly, a lot of women will automatically flirt with men wnd if you watch gsy guys they tend to automatically flirt with each other too.

    So let it happen, smiles, blushing, giggling and genresl enthusiasm will encourage the other person to do w lot of the flirting for you, you just have to let them know your liking it.

    Flirting like anything is a learnt art, but you must practice practice practice.

    You don't become awesome at flirting by sitting in the corner going "omg I'm sn awesome flirt" you become one by doing it constantly.

    Ooh some general advice now heh I've just been rambling, relax mate it's not the end of the world if you aren't amazing flirting is more wbout body language and how you talk to someone not whwt your saying so if you relax wnd let your self enjoy the moment you'll do it anyway simply because the sexual tension is there for you to begin wih.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 15, 2010 2:27 AM GMT
    i find bending down in front of liltanker and pretending to pick up quarters works really well
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2010 2:37 AM GMT
    My partner says that I'm a flirt and I was really surprised when he first said so, because I never try to. However, I do know I'm a good conversationalist. I really enjoy talking to new people, asking them questions about their life and trying to make connections between their experiences and mine. While my intention is purely platonic, my partner says that the genuine interest I show in others is attractive. He says he loves watching me converse with different folks in social situations.

    Long story short, try getting out of your head and put your attention on the other person. Ask questions about them (people love talking about themselves). Maybe you'll make a friend or perhaps more, but don't think of it as flirting, think of it as simply having a chat with someone you think is interesting. Everything else will come naturally.
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    Jul 15, 2010 3:07 AM GMT
    I've never flirted with anyone in my life. Flirting is against my religion.
  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Jul 15, 2010 3:22 AM GMT
    Do the BEND AND SNAP! it works everytime ;)
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    Jul 15, 2010 3:33 AM GMT
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    Jul 15, 2010 3:39 AM GMT
    i am the same thing man lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    Thanks for the responses guys. Especially liltanker. Brownie points=through the roof. =)

    Im a naturally shy/quirky person, which I never felt was conducive to flirting/attracting dudes...but I guess that is better than some false persona that rings completely false. Im working at a theater festival this summer, and gay boys galore-I just dont know how to snag someone without making a fool of myself. But I'll absolutely try these tips out. Except the bend and snap. That's a little advanced for me. icon_twisted.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11821

    Jul 15, 2010 8:44 PM GMT
    Dude.....it's all in the eyes....focus on what you want.....gaze intently.....wait for a opening....go and get it.....
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    Jul 15, 2010 8:45 PM GMT
    Try a little smile as Lil Tanker said. But make it also kind of coy.
    That makes it even more intriguing. Eye contact is important, too, but no staring.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2010 11:33 PM GMT
    Good topic for the shy guys here. There isn't that much flirting advice targeted at gay and bi guys unfortunately.

    Thankfully, shy guys like us have body language on our side, we can be seen as mysterious(an attractive trait) and sometimes are even inexplicably sexy when we get our flirting technique down. Everyone use's their own technique and different things work for different people but these are the most effective methods I found:

    When you see someone you're interested in give them a couple of quick glances (looking at them and then looking away quickly) these quick glances signify you find them attractive. If he reciprocates lock eyes- direct eye contact. Not in a threatening/ challenging way, "soften" your eyes. It all in the eyes. It's a fine balance between causal and sultry. I practice it with guys on campus as I walk around and have gotten it down pretty well IMO.

    Smile.Verify that you are interested in them by smiling. It is absolutely the most effective tool in your flirting toolbox. You have to practice this if you are shy but I found what works is a relaxed, smile and then looking down as a way of coyly inviting them over to talk... it's kind of hard to explain if you haven't seen it.

    Psychology and body language experts will tell you one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive is to smile. It also makes you seem 10x more approachable if the guys is also shy.

    A little known flirting technique is biting your lower lip - extremely effective flirting behavior and this actually makes you appear more attractive. Draws attention to the mouth.

    Preen yourself. Don't go overboard with this but a quick brushing your hair aside or touching the face is another body language trick to do and mirror. Speaking of which.

    Mimic body language. Understanding body language is a key as we do most of our communication through body language and facial expressions.

    People mirror each other's body language when they are attracted with similar gestures, voice intonations, etc. Try subtly mimicking his behavior. If he leans forward, (another good body language sign) you should lean forward also. If he scratches his head, you scratch your head. If you are mirroring someone's behavior, they'll begin to feel as though the two of you are connected and "in tune" with each other.

    Once you and the other guy have started talking, use these tips to deepen the attraction. Remember to smile and maintain direct eye contact as you are speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. There is rarely anyone more attractive than someone who finds you fascinating.

    Other key body language is the nod and the head tilt, the eyebrow raise when he says something interesting - signal you're listening to what the other person has to say. Smiling and laughing are crucial here - it's the quickest, easiest way to put another person at ease and make a connection. It will also calm you down as a smile sends a physiological response to your brain that indicates you are relaxed.

    Finally, another effective flirting technique is close range, low-level touching such as brushing the shoulder or elbow. Very effective.

    You'll do most of these things unconsciously with people your interested in so don't think too much about how to do it. Just practice your technique every so often and be yourself. Don't lay it on too think otherwise you'll loose your authenticity and may even attract guys who are only interested in hookups. Don't worry about being awkward either. The other guy will be just as nervous as you and by using the knowledge above you can put him and yourself more at ease so you can move beyond flirting and to dating.

    Whew, that was long but I hope that helps.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 16, 2010 11:50 PM GMT
    Shy guys who stumble and blush are the absolute cutest things icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 17, 2010 1:35 AM GMT
    Thanks for the in depth reply Ehanson. I've heard bits and pieces of this, but not in one place. I just need to get over my perceived "awkwardness" and just go for it, damnit. I'll let you guys know if I succeed icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2010 2:00 AM GMT
    GQjock saidShy guys who stumble and blush are the absolute cutest things icon_cool.gif


    ::falls down flight of stairs::

    Oh hi icon_biggrin.gificon_razz.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 17, 2010 1:24 PM GMT
    sublstyley said
    GQjock saidShy guys who stumble and blush are the absolute cutest things icon_cool.gif


    ::falls down flight of stairs::

    Oh hi icon_biggrin.gificon_razz.gif


    Mind if I pick up my mangled leg?

    Ooh Baby icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2010 5:45 PM GMT
    just take off your shirt to pretend that it's really hot, works every time for me. lol
    I also notice that if I walk away from them but then suddenly turn 180 towards them and smile. It sends butterflies up their heart every time.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2010 5:54 PM GMT
    hahah aww. ok dont worry about this at all. This kinda shy goofy thing is cute as hell! some (if not alot) of guys would think its really cute.

    the only thing u dont wanna do to turn away or make it to hard for the guys ur flirting with to talk to u. it sounds like ur more atracted to slightly more confident out going guys so it shouldnt be a problem for him to lead the convo. just go with it and keep up being you. belive me guys will like it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2010 6:33 AM GMT
    Apparently I flirt with everyone, its Caribbean culture

    But when I see a cute guy potentially interesting I freeze literally, panic attack style... way too much sympathetic nervous system overdrive going on (fight, fright, flight AAARGH)
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    Aug 24, 2010 6:34 AM GMT
    wvufan87 saidTry a little smile as Lil Tanker said. But make it also kind of coy.
    That makes it even more intriguing. Eye contact is important, too, but no staring.


    Nah, I have an ugly smile lol
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    Aug 24, 2010 6:42 AM GMT
    Nukie saidSo I'm going to be honest here-I'm not the best flirter in the world. I find myself getting awkward and simply ignoring the guy Im interested in because it's like a pressure cooker in my head. I only think of flirting as being cool, sly and nonchalant, and sexy/interested at the same time. In general I'm not cool, or sly. I've been described as awkward but in an endearing way (hey, at least its something.) Im just wondering how I can flirt in a way that expresses myself while still attracting teh boiz. Anyone here flirt alternatively/had an "awkward" flirting experience that worked?


    Body language. Don't cross your arms in front of your chest, or obstruct eye contact in any way. Face your chest toward the person you're interested in, making yourself vulnerable to them. If you're seated, cross your legs toward them, not away.

    As far as conversation...ask the person you're interested in questions about themselves. Actually listen to the responses. You don't have to be witty to convey your interest, though wittiness may engage some people. I actually don't find wittiness more or less attractive.

    If you can find a way to do so, subtly compliment the other person. If they acknowledge the compliment, and maintain eye contact, it's good. If they hear the compliment, and break eye contact without a smile, it's not good. Even if they smile and immediately make eye contact again.

    The trick to not being shy is to stop thinking about yourself, and to start thinking about the other person.
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    Aug 24, 2010 11:05 AM GMT
    redheadedryan saidBody language. Don't cross your arms in front of your chest, or obstruct eye contact in any way. Face your chest toward the person you're interested in, making yourself vulnerable to them. If you're seated, cross your legs toward them, not away.

    As far as conversation...ask the person you're interested in questions about themselves. Actually listen to the responses. You don't have to be witty to convey your interest, though wittiness may engage some people. I actually don't find wittiness more or less attractive.

    If you can find a way to do so, subtly compliment the other person. If they acknowledge the compliment, and maintain eye contact, it's good. If they hear the compliment, and break eye contact without a smile, it's not good. Even if they smile and immediately make eye contact again.

    The trick to not being shy is to stop thinking about yourself, and to start thinking about the other person.


    Can you show me? icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 24, 2010 12:03 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidWell ain't you just the freaking cutest thing ever!!!!!

    Okay, I've made w few posts sbout this before but I'll make another one, just in hopes of getting some brownie points with you..

    Flirting, one, learn to giggle if you haven't already, smile constantly at hotties, but i don't mean freskishly, you aren't suppose to be eye raping them where ever they go, just give them a small smile when you spot a hot guy.

    Now we get down to personality, go with your personality, why are you awkward? Well you said it your self, you've a pressure pot in your head. Flirting is not about the pressure you don't hsve to be an amazing flirt you just need to flirt most guys and girls will pick up on a flirtatious phrase or body language subconsciously and respond accordingly, a lot of women will automatically flirt with men wnd if you watch gsy guys they tend to automatically flirt with each other too.

    So let it happen, smiles, blushing, giggling and genresl enthusiasm will encourage the other person to do w lot of the flirting for you, you just have to let them know your liking it.

    Flirting like anything is a learnt art, but you must practice practice practice.

    You don't become awesome at flirting by sitting in the corner going "omg I'm sn awesome flirt" you become one by doing it constantly.

    Ooh some general advice now heh I've just been rambling, relax mate it's not the end of the world if you aren't amazing flirting is more wbout body language and how you talk to someone not whwt your saying so if you relax wnd let your self enjoy the moment you'll do it anyway simply because the sexual tension is there for you to begin wih.


    Or you could try my way. "I'm already picturing you with duct tape over your mouth".
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 24, 2010 12:25 PM GMT
    Hang out with a confident wing man.

    At 5'4 you could just sneak home with someone you like in their pocketicon_idea.gif...j/k

    You're cute, and I think the direct approach is the most successful. Go right up introduce yourself say hi and smile.