I have a question for older men regarding younger guys.

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    Jul 15, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    Within this past year I find myself spending more times being social in bars, clubs, etc. especially since I'm not in a relationship. Age doesn't really matter to me so it's not a deal-breaker if your older. Whenever I do talk to older guys at a bar or something they always say the same thing. "All my friends are younger than me and they have a good time with me because I don't seem as old as my age .I pretty much don't hang out with guys my age." Has anyone else had the same situation? I find this odd because they make it seem as if by telling me they only hang out with younger guys, I will be more into them. I actually find it to be a total turn off. I find it odd if a guy doesn't have friends around his age. So my question is...Why do older guys say things like that? Whats stopping them from hanging out with guys their age?
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jul 15, 2010 1:24 AM GMT
    because they perceive themselves as being "younger" than their calender age indicates?
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    Jul 15, 2010 1:49 AM GMT
    Well, If they are our ages, 52 and 55 and older...... many people that would be our ages are dead from AIDS in the 80s.


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    Jul 15, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    gay bitch reply : " move out from dark corners".

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    Jul 15, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    meninlove said Well, If they are our ages, 52 and 55 and older...... many people that would be our ages are dead from AIDS in the 80s.

    Ah, that's a sad but true possibility I might not have thought about. And indeed, I have lived in some gay communities, such as Seattle not all that far south of you, where my own age group was noticeably absent.

    Still, I'm not totally convinced. Even in Seattle I was able to maintain a "5-up 5-down" rule, meaning in my late 40s I dated only guys who were no more than 5 years younger or 5 years older than me.

    I'm more inclined to believe our OP is experiencing the same Peter Pan syndrome that strikes middle-aged straight men, too, and has them dating 20-something women. We see that all the time in the gay community, as well -- older men trying to recapture their own youth one more time, by borrowing the youth of someone else. It's more a male thing than a gay one.

    So back to our OP: if you met me or my partner, we would hope to be friendly, but predatory never. And I feel confident that our similar-age circle of friends would be the same way. We certainly admire young guys, and you make great eye candy, but mess with you? Or try to represent ourselves as something we are not, like faux-kids ourselves? Any of us would be mocked to pieces if we tried such a stunt.

    Sorry the OP has had these kinds of experiences. I know they can happen, but I'd like him to believe they aren't universal with all older gay men.
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    Jul 15, 2010 2:16 AM GMT
    People my age suck.
    And that's why I DO hang out with them. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2010 5:22 AM GMT
    It's called "self delusion." Take a picture and put in in your scrapbook.
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    Jul 15, 2010 5:33 AM GMT
    CaliforniaDreams saidI find it odd if a guy doesn't have friends around his age. So my question is...Why do older guys say things like that? Whats stopping them from hanging out with guys their age?

    Older guys who are hanging out with guys their age don't go to your bar. Only the creepers do. Ditch the bar.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Jul 15, 2010 7:57 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidI think one of the biggest favors you can do yourself is make friends that are your own age.. some that are older and some that are younger too. Diversity in your friendships is a better way to in tune with your real age than a pretend number...


    So true. I love having friends of many different ages -- not because age doesn't matter, but because it does. It's always interesting to see how whatever stage of life people are in helps shape their personalities.

    The guys the OP describes sounds like the types who like only having hot friends -- and in this case, their idea of hot is connected to age, or the lack thereof. And the fact that they make a point of telling you they seem younger smacks of insecurity. If you have to say you live in a world-class city, you probably don't. Same kind of phenomenon here.

  • coastguy90814

    Posts: 661

    Jul 15, 2010 8:46 AM GMT
    CaliforniaDreams saidWithin this past year I find myself spending more times being social in bars, clubs, etc. especially since I'm not in a relationship. Age doesn't really matter to me so it's not a deal-breaker if your older. Whenever I do talk to older guys at a bar or something they always say the same thing. "All my friends are younger than me and they have a good time with me because I don't seem as old as my age .I pretty much don't hang out with guys my age." Has anyone else had the same situation? I find this odd because they make it seem as if by telling me they only hang out with younger guys, I will be more into them. I actually find it to be a total turn off. I find it odd if a guy doesn't have friends around his age. So my question is...Why do older guys say things like that? Whats stopping them from hanging out with guys their age?


    I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!! glad you posted this. I find it odd and CREEPY that some older guys only hang out or are friends with people a lot younger than them. Life is all about a good balance and if you can't find that with friends then you my want to rethink things.
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    Jul 15, 2010 9:21 AM GMT
    I think some of you need to grow up and stop overgeneralizing.

    Did an older gentleman ignore your advances, and now you want to lash out at that particular demographic?
  • coastguy90814

    Posts: 661

    Jul 15, 2010 9:28 AM GMT
    reppaT saidI think some of you need to grow up and stop overgeneralizing.

    Did an older gentleman ignore your advances, and now you want to lash out at that particular demographic?


    haha Reppa...coming from a guy that's 100! wow icon_smile.gif You sound a bit sensitive with this issue. I see no lashing our or 'generalizing'. The poster simply stated an observations which is in fact something that is out there and a bit interesting to speculate about.
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    Jul 15, 2010 1:28 PM GMT
    Sure it's out there, but so are young men who insist on doing crystal meth on the dancefloor, and young men who insist on asking if I want a blowjob every single fucking time I try to use the head, and young men who get so shit faced drunk that their friends have to drag them out of the bar, and young men who say "All my friends are older than me and they have a good time with me because I don't seem as young as my age. I pretty much don't hang out with guys my age."

    See where I'm going here? If the OP (and you as well since you agree with the OP) insist on generalizing by saying the older guys you talk to in bars and clubs always say the same thing, then I insist on calling you out on it
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jul 15, 2010 1:52 PM GMT
    What the guy says at the local bar might be true. I have friends in all age groups but most of my friends in the "bar hopping" circle tends to be younger. Most of my friends my age or older are in a relationship doing stuff with their partner, like dinner, movies, travel. The single guys I know older than me want to sit at home and whine about how single they are. Also, they complain about how much energy it takes to get ready to go out and how late it will be when they go home. "Tomorrow is Basket Weaving Class and it starts at 9 A.M. sharp!". If I ever do get them to go out they have a fun time.

    Just because this guy tells you he has friends that are younger doesn't mean he exclusively likes to date younger. I have younger friends BECAUSE we don't date and mess everything up for friendship. I've dated younger guys and all and all it's just like dating someone my age, or older, only there are just different things to gripe about, lol.

  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jul 15, 2010 1:58 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    mickeytopogigio said
    CaliforniaDreams saidI find it odd if a guy doesn't have friends around his age. So my question is...Why do older guys say things like that? Whats stopping them from hanging out with guys their age?

    Older guys who are hanging out with guys their age don't go to your bar. Only the creepers do. Ditch the bar.

    Amen on the ditch the bar!



    Hmmm..... Well, I've actually had better luck meeting potential relationship material at the bars and in real life than online so not sure about that. I guess it depends what bar you go to maybe.
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    Jul 15, 2010 2:02 PM GMT
    i hang out with people younger than me but not exclusively. i don't think hanging out with younger people is creepy...

    it's funny because i think a lot of you think that "younger" automatically means shallow, not much in common, generation gap, etc. and i think some of you automatically think older guys don't have time to wade through the childishness or bridge the generation gap.

    it's BS.

    not all young people are like that and i think it's arrogant of older guys to be the way they are toward younger people.

    lots and lots of great things were accomplished by young people, i.e., those in their 20s and 30s...especially in music. younger people are creative, they aren't afraid to take chances, they haven't become jaded and cynical yet (as a rule, though some do put it on as a badge of honor...like they're "older"...you know, like those cool cynical older people icon_rolleyes.gif ).

    not all young guys are shallow. not at all. you don't date every guy you see...you don't like every guy you meet. same with me: there are definitely young guys who are very very young. but there are some that are wise waaaay beyond their years.

    does that make me a poster child for the peter pan syndrome? well, first, labels suck. second, i don't think personally hanging out with young people because i like the fresh insight they bring to my professional life means that i am trying to "steal their youth." i like that i have young friends.

    my friends are those who share a similar belief system, both spiritually and artistically...age knows no bounds.

    sexually, i like younger guys. but just like i wouldn't fuck all guys just because they're guys, i don't find all young guys sexually attractive.

    it ain't all or nothin'
  • CAtoFL

    Posts: 834

    Jul 15, 2010 2:03 PM GMT
    I have gay friends ranging in age from 20 to 86.

    So I guess I'm 'creepy' when I'm hanging out with a group that's predominantly younger. And my older friends are 'creepy' when they're hanging out with me.

    What a wonderful outlook on life you have.

    I suggest it might be better to hang out with people because of who they are. Not what demographic group they belong to.
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    Jul 15, 2010 2:31 PM GMT
    Hey there Real Jock HUNK GODS!

    Hello you all, I date guys age 28y/o to 40sh y/o or older BUT I date ONLY BADBOYS or BADASS BADBOYS with a band. Mostly I date badboys!

    Guys I date MUST live less the 5 miles aways from mine home!

    Guys I date MUST be muscle, really beffy (NO CHUB CHASE or BONEY MEN)!

    Guys I date MUST be Hairy chest (NO SMOOTH GUYS)

    Guys I dated CAN'T be femal or girly men YUCK!

    Guys I date MUST be SUPPER well HUNG (HUGE COCKS SIZE---Yes size DOES matter) From 8" cut to 12"cut +++

    Guys I date SUPPER MUST be wealth who make at LEASE $90/95,000 and up!

    Guys I don't date who makes under $90,000 that too poor!

    I may come as a gold digger in which I am not!
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    Jul 15, 2010 2:33 PM GMT
    BADWILD saidHey there Real Jock HUNK GODS!

    Hello you all, I date guys age 28y/o to 40sh y/o or older BUT I date ONLY BADBOYS or BADASS BADBOYS with a band. Mostly I date badboys!

    Guys I date MUST live less the 5 miles aways from mine home!

    Guys I date MUST be muscle, really beffy (NO CHUB CHASE or BONEY MEN)!

    Guys I date MUST be Hairy chest (NO SMOOTH GUYS)

    Guys I dated CAN'T be femal or girly men YUCK!

    Guys I date MUST be SUPPER well HUNG (HUGE COCKS SIZE---Yes size DOES matter) From 8" cut to 12"cut +++

    Guys I date SUPPER MUST be wealth who make at LEASE $90/95,000 and up!

    Guys I don't date who makes under $90,000 that too poor!

    I may come as a gold digger in which I am not!



    Sorry to report that I'm disqualified for one or more of your reasons.

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    Jul 15, 2010 2:40 PM GMT
    BADWILD saidHey there Real Jock HUNK GODS!

    Hello you all, I date guys age 28y/o to 40sh y/o or older BUT I date ONLY BADBOYS or BADASS BADBOYS with a band. Mostly I date badboys!

    Guys I date MUST live less the 5 miles aways from mine home!

    Guys I date MUST be muscle, really beffy (NO CHUB CHASE or BONEY MEN)!

    Guys I date MUST be Hairy chest (NO SMOOTH GUYS)

    Guys I dated CAN'T be femal or girly men YUCK!

    Guys I date MUST be SUPPER well HUNG (HUGE COCKS SIZE---Yes size DOES matter) From 8" cut to 12"cut +++

    Guys I date SUPPER MUST be wealth who make at LEASE $90/95,000 and up!

    Guys I don't date who makes under $90,000 that too poor!

    I may come as a gold digger in which I am not!


    They must be "dinner" well hung? I am so confused. icon_confused.gif

    Addendum: Ciarsolo, I'm hungry now. Where's the bacon?
  • grnranger99

    Posts: 225

    Jul 15, 2010 2:51 PM GMT
    It's because they are too immature to feel comfortable around people their own age. They can get away with more crap with younger guys.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Jul 15, 2010 2:55 PM GMT
    CaliforniaDreams saidWithin this past year I find myself spending more times being social in bars, clubs, etc. especially since I'm not in a relationship. Age doesn't really matter to me so it's not a deal-breaker if your older. Whenever I do talk to older guys at a bar or something they always say the same thing. "All my friends are younger than me and they have a good time with me because I don't seem as old as my age .I pretty much don't hang out with guys my age." Has anyone else had the same situation? I find this odd because they make it seem as if by telling me they only hang out with younger guys, I will be more into them. I actually find it to be a total turn off. I find it odd if a guy doesn't have friends around his age. So my question is...Why do older guys say things like that? Whats stopping them from hanging out with guys their age?


    When someone pulls out the old standby (i don't seem as old as my age), my first thoughts are always, A) why do you think it's attractive to be bragging about being immature, and B) Hmm...so you're sensitive about your age. Tells me you're shallow.
    And i'm Done.
  • dhinkansas

    Posts: 764

    Jul 15, 2010 3:05 PM GMT
    Some guys have the Peter Pan syndrome and refuse to grow up. Nothing is worse than some guy my age (4icon_cool.gif showing up in an Ed Hardy t shirt and skinny jeans.

    We can't be 25 forever...nor should we want to. Each stage of life is meant to be embraced.
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    Jul 15, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    dhinkansas saidSome guys have the Peter Pan syndrome and refuse to grow up. Nothing is worse than some guy my age (4icon_cool.gif showing up in an Ed Hardy t shirt and skinny jeans.

    We can't be 25 forever...nor should we want to. Each stage of life is meant to be embraced.



    I couldn't possibly disagree more. I don't wear those clothes, but I would never judge somebody for wearing clothes that I don't. I don't care if a 60 year old wears American Eagle. Go for it. I can think of plenty of things worse than a 40 year old wearing skinny jeans. Please.

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    Jul 15, 2010 3:16 PM GMT
    DjDorchester said
    dhinkansas saidSome guys have the Peter Pan syndrome and refuse to grow up. Nothing is worse than some guy my age (4icon_cool.gif showing up in an Ed Hardy t shirt and skinny jeans.

    We can't be 25 forever...nor should we want to. Each stage of life is meant to be embraced.



    I couldn't possibly disagree more. I don't wear those clothes, but I would never judge somebody for wearing clothes that I don't. I don't care if a 60 year old wears American Eagle. Go for it. I can think of plenty of things worse than a 40 year old wearing skinny jeans. Please.



    how about a 60 year old wearing ambercombie,doing x and still trying to fit in with the 30 something crowd...