Repeal Of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Paves Way For Gay Sex Right On Battlefield, Opponents Fantasize

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    Jul 15, 2010 6:51 AM GMT
    Repeal Of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Paves Way For Gay Sex Right On Battlefield, Opponents Fantasize
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 15, 2010 12:35 PM GMT
    too late to the punchline...
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jul 15, 2010 12:38 PM GMT
    Well they should, lord knows I have plenty of battlefield fantasies.

    /Wait, what?
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    Jul 15, 2010 2:12 PM GMT
    That article shows lots of latent homosexual desires in the people who are opposed to gays in the military.
    It seems as if they think all the military guys have "rippling muscles" and "rock-hard bodies." Uh, if only they could see the military guys around here. So far I haven't seen a single one that looks even halfway in shape! icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 15, 2010 2:13 PM GMT
    onion-tastic
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    Jul 15, 2010 3:47 PM GMT
    I can think of lots of wonderful things to do to the enemy. icon_biggrin.gif
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    Jul 15, 2010 4:17 PM GMT
    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    I never laughed so hard at an article in a long time, glad the end to my vacation started with a good laugh.


    "Our men need to know they can count on each other in battle, and we can't have them getting distracted by illicit romantic dalliances," said Gen. James T. Conway, commandant of the Marine Corps. "Especially if one's a little blond Adonis farm boy and his buddy's a real tough street kid straight out of Brooklyn. I mean, think about it: What if they lock eyes and abandon their post to start ripping each other's fatigues off, revealing twin sets of glistening washboard abs and at last fulfilling their hidden passions?"
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    Jul 15, 2010 4:24 PM GMT
    When asked about his views on lesbians serving openly in the military, McCain made no secret of his position on the issue.

    "Female soldiers being intimate with one another?" McCain said. "Gross! No, thank you."


    Except, straight porn is crammed with girl-on-girl action. I think the elderly Senator is either very clueless, or in serious denial.

    In any case, this aging nut job is not a valid participant in this debate. Agreed?
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jul 15, 2010 4:28 PM GMT
    Wilton saidWhen asked about his views on lesbians serving openly in the military, McCain made no secret of his position on the issue.

    "Female soldiers being intimate with one another?" McCain said. "Gross! No, thank you."


    Except, straight porn is crammed with girl-on-girl action. I think the elderly Senator is either very clueless, or in serious denial.

    In any case, this aging nut job is not a valid participant in this debate. Agreed?


    pssst... it's The Onion.
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    Jul 15, 2010 4:41 PM GMT
    Very funny. I too especially liked "Gen. James T. Conway's" comments. The fact it could almost be taken as a real article tends to prove how comical (yet pernicious) some of the more conservative views on Capitol Hill are.

    Of course, gay military fantasy and reality are miles apart. The truth is, on deployment, everyone is too damned busy to even think about sex, never mind do it. And even if you wanted to do it, there is rarely enough privacy. Of course, there are some good looking guys around, which does help to distract one from the otherwise uninspiring scenery on the deployed bases.
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    Jul 15, 2010 4:50 PM GMT
    I hope that those of you who appear not to realize that this is satire are only pretending not to realize it... icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 15, 2010 5:00 PM GMT
    God, I love The Onion!
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    Jul 15, 2010 5:13 PM GMT
    OMFG!

    So is it wrong that I'm a little turned on reading their quotes? As Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX), says - I guess I too am "...so wrong and so, so naughty." icon_evil.gif
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    Jul 15, 2010 5:22 PM GMT
    MenschPress saidI hope that those of you who appear not to realize that this is satire are only pretending not to realize it... icon_eek.gif


    ^^ my thoughts exactly icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 15, 2010 5:26 PM GMT
    Em3ns said
    MenschPress saidI hope that those of you who appear not to realize that this is satire are only pretending not to realize it... icon_eek.gif


    ^^ my thoughts exactly icon_lol.gif


    And you lot wonder why Europeans say americans have no awareness of irony, sarcasm and other such things....
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    Jul 15, 2010 5:29 PM GMT
    DCEric said
    Wilton saidWhen asked about his views on lesbians serving openly in the military, McCain made no secret of his position on the issue.

    "Female soldiers being intimate with one another?" McCain said. "Gross! No, thank you."


    Except, straight porn is crammed with girl-on-girl action. I think the elderly Senator is either very clueless, or in serious denial.

    In any case, this aging nut job is not a valid participant in this debate. Agreed?


    pssst... it's The Onion.

    I saw the site (DUH). But they were parodying McCain's actual public position against gays, He hates gays. Do you dispute that?
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jul 15, 2010 5:31 PM GMT
    Wilton said
    DCEric said
    Wilton saidWhen asked about his views on lesbians serving openly in the military, McCain made no secret of his position on the issue.

    "Female soldiers being intimate with one another?" McCain said. "Gross! No, thank you."


    Except, straight porn is crammed with girl-on-girl action. I think the elderly Senator is either very clueless, or in serious denial.

    In any case, this aging nut job is not a valid participant in this debate. Agreed?


    pssst... it's The Onion.

    I saw the site (DUH). But they were parodying McCain's actual public position against gays, He hates gays. Do you dispute that?


    I only dispute that it was a real quote.
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    Jul 15, 2010 5:32 PM GMT
    lol that -ish was funny as hell
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    Dispute away. Mr McCain seems more than capable of saying the most appallingly insulting stuff.

    John McCain called wife "c*nt", "trollop" John McCain called his wife Cindy a "c*nt" in front of at least five witnesses on the campaign trail in 1992, according to Cliff Schecter's new book:

    Three reporters from Arizona, on the condition of anonymity, also let me in on another incident involving McCain's intemperateness. In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt." McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days. [The Real McCain, PoliPoint Press, 2008.]
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    Jul 16, 2010 12:29 AM GMT
    The whole issue is stupid. When that unjust law is finally overturned, the biggest problem will be the sporadic gay bashing that will no doubt occur "because he made sexual advances".

    Its the same as the arguments against gay marriage, there is no sound basis for it other than the right to perpetuate discrimination.

    The article was a hoot.
  • gumbosolo

    Posts: 382

    Jul 16, 2010 1:04 AM GMT
    Man, the Onion may be satire, but it's truer than most of the news. Top notch.