College Dating Scene

  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Jul 17, 2010 5:38 PM GMT
    I came out roughly around the start of my sophomore year at college, since then been looking around the UMD:CP campus for gay buds to hangout with and maybe potentially find a date or two.

    I haven't honestly spent a huge amount of time invested in it, since time is tight between studies, weight room, and friends. Although, I get the distinct impression a lot of guys on campus are still deep in the closet. Totally conjecture of course; I have zero proof, just an impression. I've asked my friends if they know anyone on campus, and all I get are blank faces... I'm typically the only out gay guy they know.

    Anyone have some words of experience to share about their college experience?
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    Jul 17, 2010 11:13 PM GMT
    I had no luck in college and still don't have any. So good luck and keep trying!
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 17, 2010 11:19 PM GMT
    Most of the guys I have dated have been college guys ( UNLV ). It's all in taking the initiative to go up and start a conversation. Of course once you date one or two, you kinda become known within their circles of friends and it makes it easier to meet them. icon_wink.gif
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Jul 17, 2010 11:22 PM GMT
    Hmm IDK I haven't really been on the Hunt for the gays on campus, I've seen some, but not my type at all
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    Jul 17, 2010 11:24 PM GMT
    Most guys do not come out until mid-20's. College is not the best place but its where most start.
  • Classyboy04

    Posts: 497

    Jul 17, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    above guy is right. College is a start but not the best place. I never dated in college and wish I did had found someone. Most of the times, it was hookups from the jocks like the football team or baseball team. man good times, I need to go back LOLOL
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    Jul 18, 2010 12:23 AM GMT
    Above guys are both right... i was like the only out person in my class, and one of two I knew in my frat/sor (the two arent separate in the Netherlands)... I still typically am the only one in most of my classes, but for the occasional bi girl and lesbian (they seem more common somehow lol)
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    Jul 18, 2010 12:25 AM GMT
    The size of the college is an important factor. If you go to a small school in a rural area you are going to have a hard time finding other gay men.

    I went to a huge school and had no problems finding other gay men on campus. There were gay bars and dance clubs in town and gay organizations on campus.

    Once you make your first gay friend you will be able to network and meet other gays they know, and so on and so on.

    Good luck.
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    Jul 18, 2010 12:27 AM GMT
    Frostea23 saidAnyone have some words of experience to share about their college experience?
    I went back in the closet during college, and that helped me get laid by the closet guys. For real. icon_wink.gif
  • pelotudo87

    Posts: 225

    Jul 18, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    I haven't had much luck, either.

    And I completely agree with the others about guys not coming out. I feel like in college the, shall we say, "obviously gay" guys are out, but the more masculine ones are still in the closet. I've been told that even on a lot of gay sports teams, there aren't many gay guys in their early 20's--mostly late 20's/early 30's and up. I guess that young gay guys still aren't convinced they are gay/still think they can make themselves straight.

    Oh well...since we're not dating, at least we get more time to focus on school, lol
  • allatonce

    Posts: 904

    Jul 18, 2010 1:36 AM GMT
    I feel the same way. I think we're all in the same boat on this one, most guys are still in the closet during university.
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    Jul 18, 2010 1:43 AM GMT
    fastfreddie saidThe size of the college is an important factor. If you go to a small school in a rural area you are going to have a hard time finding other gay men.

    I went to a huge school and had no problems finding other gay men on campus. There were gay bars and dance clubs in town and gay organizations on campus.

    Once you make your first gay friend you will be able to network and meet other gays they know, and so on and so on.

    Good luck.


    Michigan State is a huge school but despite having a gay scene, I would say that 75% of the gay dudes are in the closet for a myriad of reasons. Mainly, it is because they still desire social approval.

    I have been out the full time here at MSU and its been rewarding but the only other out dudes are those banner waving activists that really put people off.

    Its kinda sad because it leads to the situation I post about most recently.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1031487

    Ironically, alot of these guys will kick themselves for not being honest sooner.

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    Jul 18, 2010 2:06 AM GMT
    pelotudo87 said... I feel like in college the, shall we say, "obviously gay" guys are out, but the more masculine ones are still in the closet. ...
    I was just talking to a friend about that the other day, and told him "I think the feminine guys have more balls than the masculine guys, because they're not afraid to be who they are...the masculine guys are the pussies." icon_lol.gif
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Jul 18, 2010 6:23 AM GMT
    Interesting posts so far although some of them definitely on the more depressing side: confirming my suspicions that a lot of guys are deep in the closet, especially ones like me, sports and athletic oriented.

    Then there are the ones that I describe as being so obviously gay it'd be for all practical purposes impossible to not be out. Although, there is something to be said about the importance of visibility.

    Only feeds my frustration and anger at the social pressure that keeps guys in the closet. I experienced my fair share of that throughout high school and freshman year college, till I was fed up with being miserable. What threw me over the edge was seeing so many straight couples holding hands and kissing in every possible campus sidewalk, lounge, or library on a daily basis. Why can't I have just the chance to experience that? Why should I get robbed of my glory years in college?

    So that's when I decided to come out, was tough, and I shocked a lot of people.

    I suppose the frustration and anger arises mostly from the feeling of isolation, feeling like the only out athletic oriented guy on campus, when you know there is a good chance someone else is out there, either have not found him in the masses of students or he won't come out till his mid-20s after college.

    Ah well, sorry for ranting to you guys. Just trying to jot my thoughts down.

  • Jimmy201001

    Posts: 40

    Jul 18, 2010 6:37 AM GMT
    I wish I had got to know more guys at college/uni, but it was very hard.

    In my first year I was placed with six flatmates. Three of them were very homophobic - one who said he travelled the world but refused to go to San Fran because it was 'full of gays'. Another two girls said that if there was a lesbian in their flat that they would request to be moved to a different flat!

    I couldn't have imagined bringing a guy home to my room there. Luckily I don't have to put up with them anymore since I have my own place. I was stunned at how small-minded some people were - university is supposed to be a place where all people of all races/sexuality/political views etc can come together and be themselves! I wish I had stood up to them but I was only 18/19 and didn't have that kind of 'I don't care what you think' sort of attitude that I have now at 22.
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    Jul 18, 2010 6:41 AM GMT
    I feel like most guys date guys their freshman year, maybe sophomore, but pretty much focus on getting their career inline after that.

    Use your gaydar to find the boys its in the simile, icon_biggrin.gif

  • Runningonempt...

    Posts: 119

    Jul 18, 2010 6:43 AM GMT
    Facebook, when it was just starting out used to be great for finding fellow gays at college. (you used to be able to search for sexuality) Though now its kinda a waste for meeting new people.
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    Jul 20, 2010 12:49 AM GMT
    ctrutle1 saidI feel like most guys date guys their freshman year, maybe sophomore, but pretty much focus on getting their career inline after that.

    Use your gaydar to find the boys its in the simile, icon_biggrin.gif



    Actually its easy to root them out...harder for them to put out lol jk