lol, I found it rather disheartening. It's all about him. Not about the child, or the wife.
from the article:I want a wife to love and a child to protect. And I want to look at them both and know that they are mine and I am needed by both and I can be like the workman’s fist, clutched tightly by the little pink fingers in the barber shop. The rock of the family.
doug nailed it. and this paragraph pretty much sums it up. "mine"...as though they are someone to be owned.
the guy is a romantic. and as a romantic, he has romantic ideas and romanticizes a life of sweet love, a family, a wife, a loving child, and all those christmases and sleepy little moments before bedtime...even the smell of his own child, freshly bathed in their jammies, ready to have book read to them and then tucked in. there is absolutely NOTHING like laying with your 4 year old child in bed and listening to them fall asleep.
but, alas. it isn't like that all the time. those moments happen and they are wonderful, but being a parent (and a husband) is not like that at all. clearly, he loves the idea
of being a husband and father more than actually being a husband and father.
for instance, where will he be when olga starts to desire a little oral stimulation? or when olga wishes that he would just hold her, and caress her, and, oh yeah, spend all his time with her? what happens when that cute little 3 year old child who now so cutely sits in the barber chair, turns 14 and becomes a bona fide teenager? a smelly, contentious blob of hormones who thinks it is virtuous to hate their parents and confide in questionable friends who he texts into the wee hours of the morning on his cell phone he bitches about but costs an arm and a leg? mark twain said that when a child becomes a teenager you should put them in a barrel and feed them through a hole. when they turn sixteen, you should plug up the hole.
i remember, soon after my BF left me (right before i too decided to become "straight"), i was sitting in a cafe and i saw an old guy helping his wife out of the car...both were feeble. i started tearing up. THAT was what i wanted...to spend the rest of my life with someone. to have THAT moment.
i wanted that moment more than i cared about my wife. you can't love the times you put your children to bed more than you love your children. in short, you can't romanticize about this stuff or it will eat you alive.
i got married because i thought that was what i was supposed to do....and i ended up getting a divorce and risking messing up the very lives of those children i so fiercely wanted. i chose divorce because i needed to love my children MORE than what i romanticized would be my life with them in it. we can still go to amusement parks and laugh, through a frisbee around, cuddle with each other in front of the TV with a great movie, but you have to absolutely love those other people and not the scenarios.
this guy is objectifying olga and his potential kids. i guarantee you his fantasy of having a child is to have a nice, healthy with all ten fingers and ten toes, non-autistic, brilliantly creative BOY. what happens when he gets someone else?
i don't begrudge anyone to find themselves. hell, i had to. but doug is right: this guy is about more himself and his fantasy than his future wife olga and his even more future children (if she can have children and if they don't die in utero).
it's sad that we all have to deal with these thoughts...if there is any reason to be straight, it's that your life's choices are exponentially easier...or certainly more defined.