Don't spend time getting to know someone online, meet them as soon as you can to get it over with!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2010 4:51 PM GMT
    Online identities are never the same as someone's real life identity. Even if you have talked with them on the phone, jerked off on webcam with them numberous times, or conversated extensively on MSN with them. People are always different in real life, and that's what sucks the most. You can never really get to know someone's IRL identity online.

    Everyone I ever met from online chatting has always been different than how they seem online. Everyone! Many do not look like their photos or how they do on webcam (as both are usually edited and enhanced with lighting and other camera settings and techniques). Also a webcam isn't as hi-tech as our eyes and can't pick up on many details of a person, or make someone look 3D.

    It's always better to meet someone you're interested in online within a few days of establishing a conversation with them, or never meet them at all and keep them strictly as "online" friends. People are never the same offline as they're on this multiple personality disorder inducing machine we all use.

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    I once built a relatonship with a guy for 5 years online. We cam'ed, talked on skype and online all the time, shared photos, and practically every night together we talked for 5 years since we were both 16 and still in high school. I even introduced him to my mom, dad, and sister on the webcam.

    We ended up finally meeting six months ago as we lived in different countries. I learned french just to meet him. I spent two weeks with him, I had every intention and plan to move in with him as we both thought we were each others soulmates. This feeling was mutual. 5 years we talked online, it was like we we're already dating, you know? It was so easy to talk to him.

    Once we met, and got over the intital reactions of meeting for the first time in
    person (which included kissing, having sex (he took my virginity), etc..), we started to argue. It started with a "I think you look a bit different in person" comment, and I told him I thought he looked different too. Than it led to more comments such as "you said you liked this online!", and "that's not what you said online" comments.

    I just told him we are all slightly different online, and exaggerate (because we usually do). Things I like change all the time depending on my mood. I shared hundreds of photos, and talked with you on cam how many times on skype? I must look something like my photos and the various angles you saw me on cam!

    And from there it just turned into a big argument about how our online identites didn't equate to our offline identities. We both lost interest in each other after that conversation as there were so many things that were different than the online conversations we had, this feeling was mutual. Needless to say, it didn't work out in person. I left rather dissapointed but at least the sex wasn't half bad. After I got home (I spent two weeks there) he still wanted to talk and conversate regularly with me on cam, but I just wasn't feeling it. We met, there was nothing there to build a relationship with, why continue to talk with him just because we've talked for 5 years?

    I thought we would have the same kind of connection as we had online, offline, but it was different to finally meet him and see what he was like in person, and he clearly felt the same.

    Lesson Learned: Don't spend time getting to know someone online, meet them as soon as you can to get it over with!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2010 5:01 PM GMT
    yeah but that's something that can only be done if both parties agree. sometimes the other person wants to wait for a long while. 5 years is way too long though
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2010 5:07 PM GMT
    Well if they want to wait..than clearly there's a reason why. So tell them to talk to you again when they're ready to meet, and ignore them til' that time comes.