Young, intelligent, and athletic? Too much to ask for?

  • ScreamShatter

    Posts: 40

    Jul 18, 2010 9:58 PM GMT
    My ideal guy would be between 23 to 35, well educated, family-oriented, ambitious, and who is somewhat athletic. Race and religion are not important to me. Neither is the field of job so long that they are passionate about what they are doing or working towards something important to them.

    My problem is I tend to find pieces of what I want but never the complete package. There are guys I have dated who are hot, but that is basically where my interest stops. There are guys I have dated who are brilliant, but are hardly athletic. And then there have been guys I've been attracted to who are both intelligent and athletic, but their attitudes are a real put off.

    My question is do you think it is possible to find everything we are searching for in a guy? Or are we really just asking for too much?
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    Jul 19, 2010 12:25 AM GMT
    Yes it is possible, I found it once, then I thought I could find something better... hasn't happened yet...
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    Jul 19, 2010 12:29 AM GMT
    ScreamShatter saidMy ideal guy would be between 23 to 35, well educated, family-oriented, ambitious, and who is somewhat athletic. Race and religion are not important to me. Neither is the field of job so long that they are passionate about what they are doing or working towards something important to them.


    You can make a list. And you can find guys that fit everything written down on your list. And you'll still feel them to be wrong for you.

    There are no formulas you can define, and in most cases they'll just predisposition you to pass up guys who may not fit your requirements but that are wonderful people you could be happy with.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Jul 19, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    ScreamShatter saidMy ideal guy would be between 23 to 35, well educated, family-oriented, ambitious, and who is somewhat athletic. Race and religion are not important to me. Neither is the field of job so long that they are passionate about what they are doing or working towards something important to them.


    You can make a list. And you can find guys that fit everything written down on your list. And you'll still feel them to be wrong for you.

    There are no formulas you can define, and in most cases they'll just predisposition you to pass up guys who may not fit your requirements but that are wonderful people you could be happy with.


    That's very true.

    I would like to think I am all of those things and I think I would want all of those things in whoever I am dating but Ciarsolo is right - you may still not like the guy. Come to think of it, my one and only ex had all of those things and that ended in major heartbreak for me.
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    Jul 19, 2010 12:36 AM GMT
    Heard you were looking for me??? Lol, j/k...

    I'm VERY confident enough to say that I AM that package, I have so much to offer someone & I could only expect the same.

    They are out there, I used to be in love with someone with ALL the amazing qualities that we seek....

    ..but that ship has sailed long ago. Keep your chin up, he's out there ;)
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    Jul 19, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    haha i sure hope its possible because i'm keeping my hopes up for the same thing one day.. just telling myself to remain patient. I'd like to think i'm good husband material, and find it odd i've yet to find anyone in my city let alone state worth dating. (solution is to move one day).

    Though i tend to think a lot of people think too highly of themselves and do think they fit all of those 'traits' but when it comes down to it.. whenever finding someone.. it matters on their personality.. you either mesh well or you don't..
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    Jul 19, 2010 1:05 AM GMT
    possible
  • trackrocks

    Posts: 110

    Jul 19, 2010 1:09 AM GMT
    Most definitely possible, may be hard to find, but definitely worth the wait!!!
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Jul 19, 2010 1:09 AM GMT
    ScreamShatter saidMy ideal guy would be between 23 to 35, well educated, family-oriented, ambitious, and who is somewhat athletic. Race and religion are not important to me. Neither is the field of job so long that they are passionate about what they are doing or working towards something important to them.

    My problem is I tend to find pieces of what I want but never the complete package. There are guys I have dated who are hot, but that is basically where my interest stops. There are guys I have dated who are brilliant, but are hardly athletic. And then there have been guys I've been attracted to who are both intelligent and athletic, but their attitudes are a real put off.

    My question is do you think it is possible to find everything we are searching for in a guy? Or are we really just asking for too much?


    How about looking for love?
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    Jul 19, 2010 1:14 AM GMT
    Well, I haven't had any experience dating, so this is not coming from a place of experience, just a place of... contemplation.

    We all seem to have ideals, things we are looking for in people, almost a check list of sorts. When we meet new people we submit them to a random screening, assess, and decide. Now while there are certain traits and characteristics that you like in people, applying the same list to everyone seems to be a rather mechanical method of dealing with individuals, as in, it seems to be a rather... vacant method of social and human interaction.

    For myself, I can identify qualities I like in individuals; but I look at my best friends in my life, those who I consider the closest to me, and it surprises me how they can defy my perceived notions of people (or what people should be like), that the best people in my life are the ones I wasn't looking for, the ones I didn't think I even needed to look for, and what I love most about them - the quirks, the flaws, the little intricate details - are often the same things that might make me cross someone's name off a pre-packaged check list.

    How do you know what you really want in someone... if you don't allow people to show you what you didn't know you wanted, or didn't know you loved?

    Just imagine how boring and awful and pointless life would be if everyone fit into your checklist.

    Anyway, I should take my own advice, but... the question just made me ponder.
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    Jul 19, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    very possible. i'm dating one. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 19, 2010 1:52 AM GMT
    I don't see why that's not a possibility. I would think that there would be a number of grad students who would fit into that description.
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    Jul 19, 2010 1:52 AM GMT
    ScreamShatter saidMy ideal guy would be between 23 to 35, well educated, family-oriented, ambitious, and who is somewhat athletic.


    Why not just order one of those from the catalog? I hear they're having a sale!
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    Jul 19, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    Ahem...
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    Jul 19, 2010 1:55 AM GMT
    We both found it. So I'm sure anyone can too icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 19, 2010 2:06 AM GMT
    hahaha u dont want to hear my list...for me to have sex the guy has to take me on 90 dates..mhmmmm

    but yeah i think its possible lolz
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jul 19, 2010 2:17 AM GMT
    They tell women not to expect to find the perfect man. They're not going to find the hunk who can fix the car, cook dinner while he's doing the laundry, then sit and have an interesting emotional conversation about the hobbies they share. Are gay men luckier than women? I don't think so.

    When they interview couples who have been together for over 50 years, and who are still in love, they all say the same thing: the sex was amazing. It's from a documentary, I'm not making it up.

    You have to find a guy that you can't wait to get home to jump into bed with.That's goal number one.

    You meet those other needs of yours by finding friends who share those interests. That makes you a more well-rounded person, which means you will be more attractive to that hot guy you can't wait to get home to because...

    It's a two-sided equation. What have you got to offer that makes some guy think you're worth shaking up with, for life?
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    Jul 19, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    ScreamShatter saidMy ideal guy would be between 23 to 35, well educated, family-oriented, ambitious, and who is somewhat athletic. Race and religion are not important to me. Neither is the field of job so long that they are passionate about what they are doing or working towards something important to them.

    My problem is I tend to find pieces of what I want but never the complete package. There are guys I have dated who are hot, but that is basically where my interest stops. There are guys I have dated who are brilliant, but are hardly athletic. And then there have been guys I've been attracted to who are both intelligent and athletic, but their attitudes are a real put off.

    My question is do you think it is possible to find everything we are searching for in a guy? Or are we really just asking for too much?



    dont worry, keep on looking! or he just might find you...you're cute..dont forget you're as good as you get and compromising is important!

    but hey, you pretty much describe me! im sure im not your type! so your probably still missing some criteria
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    Jul 19, 2010 2:23 AM GMT
    ScreamShatter said

    My problem is I tend to find pieces of what I want but never the complete package.


    That's why you should look at "young, intelligent and athletic" as a loose guideline and not the rule.

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    Jul 19, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    it's good to have an idea in mind of what you're are looking for, but who's to say that someone you meet might only fit some of your qualifications... but he fits them so well, that you compromise on some of the other ones? as a side note- i would never sacrifice on attitude, that's something i can't justify

    there are no formulas in love. when it's there, you know it. chin up icon_smile.gif
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Jul 19, 2010 3:13 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    ScreamShatter saidMy ideal guy would be between 23 to 35, well educated, family-oriented, ambitious, and who is somewhat athletic. Race and religion are not important to me. Neither is the field of job so long that they are passionate about what they are doing or working towards something important to them.


    You can make a list. And you can find guys that fit everything written down on your list. And you'll still feel them to be wrong for you.

    There are no formulas you can define, and in most cases they'll just predisposition you to pass up guys who may not fit your requirements but that are wonderful people you could be happy with.


    What Ciarsolo said is ringing in my ears as wise words. They can fit your laundry list of details, but you could still get that feeling that it really is the wrong fit.
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    Jul 19, 2010 3:16 AM GMT
    One day long ago I heard this song, and my life changed. Criteria can narrow the future, limit possibilities and slap bars across your sky.


    -Doug




    Dreamer, you know you are a dreamer
    Well can you put your hands in your head, oh no!
    I said dreamer, you're nothing but a dreamer,
    Well can you put your hands in your head, oh no!
    I said "Far out, - What a day, a year, a life it is!"
    You know, - Well you know you had it comin' to you,
    Now there's not a lot I can do

    Dreamer, you silly little dreamer;
    So now you put your head in your hands, oh no!
    I said "Far out, - What a day, a year, a life it is!"
    You know, - Well you know you had it comin' to you,
    No there's not a lot I can do.

    We'll work it out someday

    If I could see something
    You can see anything you want boy
    If I could be someone-
    You can be anyone,celebrate boy.
    If I could do something-
    Well you can do something,
    If I could do anything-
    Can you do something out of this world?

    Take a dream on a Sunday
    Take a life, take a holiday
    Take a life, take a dreamer
    Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream along...

    Dreamer, you know you are a dreamer
    Well can you put your hands in your head, oh no!
    I said dreamer, you're nothing but a dreamer
    Well can you put your hands in your head, oh no!
    OH NO!
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Jul 19, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    Finding a man with all the bells and whistles is rare but not impossible.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2010 3:27 AM GMT
    I find that most gay men have an extended list of criterias they need to find in a guy.And we are only 10% of the population so less choice.It's harder for a guy to settle down + gay men are normally screwed up for some reason.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jul 19, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    Trust me the list doesn't work, as you get older your internal 'Spidey" sense will become much more dependable then any list. Guys come in so many different packages, they are like cars, you will never get all the options you want in one model. If one comes along with most of the options your looking for, grab him and take him for a test drive and see if he works out for you. Sometimes we end up with guys we would never have considered before. Take Charlotte from SATC, Harry was the last person she would have considered in the early days, but as time went on she realized what was really important to her in a man.