Hey guys,
Sorry to start a topic that has probably been brought up many times over. But i was curious and I didn't have a lot of time to rummage through the forums for the topic.

Back story on my weight issues... While some people will say "God i'd love to have your metabolism!" please refrain from going overboard on me.. All through highschool and growing up as a kid before that i was always skinny. My weight in highschool was always 125-135lbs. Being short i figured that's how i was meant to be growing up. It felt right as no one ever picked on me. But also, i was never noticed either. The only time i was noticed is when i was acting out or when i was playing soccer / lacrosse.

My family had somewhat mentally abusive parents (but then again everyone has their share of stories so i won't get into that too much). I have a feeling that my "disorder" stems from how we were treated as children. Right now it's no longer a want to get bigger. It's a need. I'm sick and tired of being the scrawny sammy. I'm tired of being considered a weakling because of my size. I'm a nice guy, atleast i try to be and yet i feel like i'm constantly invisible to many people (Note this has somewhat subsided only in the pas year because i've been working out). It's a sad community that we live in that, including myself, we're pretty shallow. There are those that aren't, but in all seriousness, the majority of our community is looking for something that stimulates them.

With all that being said icon_smile.gif I've only started working out in september of 2009. I was at 135 lbs at the start. I'm not hovering between 165-170lbs depending on the time of day that i weigh myself at. Yes.. OCD much, i know ;) No need to go there. But, i've been stuck at 165 for what seems like an eternity, it's starting to get to me because i see all these muscular guys online, at the gym, walking down the street and i'm like "god DAMN! i wish i had that kind of body!" I'm not afraid of the upkeep as i go to the gym 5-6 times a week. I do cardio 2-3 times a week (aside from playing soccer twice a week). I know that's a big factor in my weight gain issues, but i wonder...

I eat several times a day between 6-7 meals. Breakfast i have 2 eggwhites (I know i need to increase this) Oatmeal or whole wheat cerial, a protien shake or bar and a banana. I wait 2 hours before i have another protien bar and some almonds and berries (depending on what i can find).. for lunch i'll have two half baked chicken breasts from a place called "fred meyers" (i believe it's a west coast chain.. anyway) and brown rice and again, some berries. Another two hours and i'll have a protien shake. I'll drive home around 3 pm, before heading to the gym i'll have my usual suppliments (NO shotgun, and during my work out NO synthasize. These have protien in them and i believe creatine). After workout i'll have a lean out protien shake from emerald city smoothie (you can look them up online). It's got around 50-60 grams of protien in it. With a shot of l-glutamine. I'll wait an hour and a half them go get me some stuffed chicken (spinache and mushrooms) An extra side of grilled chicken and steamed veggies (Broc, carrots and green beans). Then i'll have banana muscle milk before bed...

What the fuck am i doing wrong? My goal weight is 185-190. And i can't seem to figure out what im doing wrong! It's depressing me a little bit...

Is it because i'm just being an instant gratification whore and wanting my results now now now or what?

Should i consider taking ganiers like "Monster mass" or "Ctyo-gainer" or whatever?

For all you really muscular guys, how long.. How long did it take you guys to get where you're at? What am i doing wrong?

Is it my diet?
I'm working 2-3 times a week with a lifing buddy for back shoulders and chest so i have someone to push me ..

It's just so frustrating because i see myself in the mirror and i still see myself as 135 lbs. I don't get it! I want to get bigger, yet not by cheating.. No recommendations of hgh or steroids please icon_sad.gif

Can anyone help? (Nomore, you know im a good guy, hopefully you can attest to my frustration ;) )

Thanks for any help if at all guys!