Wondering if a friend is gay.

  • minnjock

    Posts: 1

    Jul 20, 2010 2:31 AM GMT
    I am wondering if anyone has any experience with a friend that says he is straight but you think is gay? My friend and I are really close. People have asked me if he is gay and if he is my boyfriend. Which, since I am in the closet still, is kinda weird, I must be a bad actor. Has anyone had this problem? How have you handled it?
    Thanks,
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    Jul 20, 2010 5:20 AM GMT
    I've been in this situation, and it can be really difficult. You might be setting yourself up for heartbreak whether the answer is yes or no. You guys have a chemistry if people are pointing it out, and that can be a big sign, though there's straight and bi guys that can develop deep almost romantic friendships.

    I'd say the easy way would be to look at his internet history, but that's snooping comes down to a respect issue. Maybe more involved is to plug yourself into what might be his fantasies. Every closeted guy has scenarios in his head where he has a chance to express his urges without crossing the gay line (camping, locker rooms, drunken nights, horseplay, etc...) Get into those situations and see if his pistons start firing. If he's feeling something he'll either get wound-up and playful or unnaturally nervous. If he acts just normal, then his brain isn't seeing the sexual connection of that intimacy. Just an idea.
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    Jul 20, 2010 5:32 AM GMT
    I'd say just be yourselves and enjoy hanging out. It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks anyway. It's great you two have good chemistry with each other...those are the best friends to have. Maybe something will come out of it down the road ..maybe not..either way just enjoy each other icon_smile.gif
  • Jack501

    Posts: 15

    Jul 26, 2010 11:24 PM GMT
    icon_redface.gif that's exactly where I am right now. I have this buddy of mine that is married and have a kid, he's so fucking 'hot', manly and yet a bit in touch with his feminine side... a womanizer and let's just say plain HOT.

    We went to a ski trip where I pretended to be asleep and ended up leaning my head on his shoulder while my left knee was on top of his right knee... what a jolt of excitement that was. But at the end of it, he didn't do anything more than the ordinary, he's jusy freaking straight icon_twisted.gif

    we still go out for lunch and go for a beer once in a while, but that's just buddies hanging out kind of thing.

    So, to cut it short, do some sexual move on him and see the kind of reaction he'll give you, who knows you might get lucky and hit the jackpot.

    Good Luck...
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    Jul 27, 2010 12:13 AM GMT
    slowcoreEvery closeted guy has scenarios in his head where he has a chance to express his urges without crossing the gay line (camping, locker rooms, drunken nights, horseplay, etc...) Get into those situations and see if his pistons start firing. If he's feeling something he'll either get wound-up and playful or unnaturally nervous. If he acts just normal, then his brain isn't seeing the sexual connection of that intimacy.


    I think that's a good idea to try with anyone. I haven't thought much about the difference between friendly and sexual intimacy in regards to a singular act. horseplay or tickling can be friendly or sexual. (I mean, duh...but just haven't pondered it much)