Just how long...?

  • Nico3_0

    Posts: 34

    Jul 20, 2010 3:20 AM GMT
    So i can only imagine that this topic has already been posted so my apologies for those of you who have been here longer than myself.


    So ive been dating this guy for over a month now and things are going good. There are some things tho that are on my mind since this dating thing is a little new to me.
    How long is would one want to wait before having full on sex? He said ten dates but he's had more experience than me...i agree on waiting and dont want to rush anything but is there a certain amount of dates? Time passed? or is it the right situation...if so ill just find a dark parking spot somewhere ;) JK.

    Just a few things on my mind...nothing making me go crazy but watching How I Met Your Mother is making my mind rumble.

    Much thanks...
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jul 20, 2010 8:51 AM GMT
    In my opinion you can't put intimacy on a timeline. After two dates you kiss, after three dates you have a make-out session, after six dates you jerk each other off, after eight you fellate, after ten you have penetrative intercourse. This isn't how sexual intimacy should work.

    Do you trust him? Does he trust you? Do you feel comfortable with him? Has he shown that he's an upstanding, nice guy, with your best interests at heart? Do you want to have sex with him? If the answer to all of these is yes, then some good ol' safe sex is in order, regardless if you've made it to ten, fifteen, twenty dates, or not. This is something you negotiate together and do when you're both ready.

    How meaningful or good the sex is doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how long you waited.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Jul 20, 2010 11:12 AM GMT
    It's not a specific number but you need to build up an intimacy and get to know someone that you are interested in
    If you just want to get laid then jump right in but if you want it to be more than just sex it's best to wait a bit
  • Nico3_0

    Posts: 34

    Jul 21, 2010 1:06 AM GMT
    Thanks guys.

    GQjock i think that we are definitely on track to make it a meaningful relationship and i dont think im gonna just wanna get laid any time soon.

    Bunjamon, your general timeline is actually on track to what has happened so far...very odd how good you are at that. And yes to your questions, to all your questions. So i guess i really wont think all too much about how long i will wait or not.

    Thanks to you both...reading some of the other forums and glad i at age 20 am on a good track to have that boyfriend... icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2010 1:08 AM GMT
    you need to stop worrying so much and just go with the flow and do what feels right....there is no guide book to this haha or rules
  • AlanGZ

    Posts: 385

    Jul 21, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    Hum i never asked myself that question, u should know/feel when the time is right! It s not like there is an schedule for the perfect begining of a relationship.

    I do not know boys in the US but as per Europe is concerned if he is more experienced than you are and he is willing to wait for 10 dates, that means he is really into you and not looking for just a fling. I had several long term relationship and I NEVER waited that long before sleeping with a guy icon_rolleyes.gif