ADVICE... I think My coworkers husband is Gay?

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    Jul 21, 2010 2:09 AM GMT
    Tell me what do you all think? My co worker has been acting very different and it all started last week when her husband went off on a roadtrip with his friend. His friend Silvy, or whatever his name is came from Ohio to visit her husband and has been here for three weeks, well him and her husband became friends after HS she mentioned and haven't seen each other in 5 years, well they planned there trip and she kept asking them what's your agenda, well they never told her. Well after of two days of her not hearing from them, she is all crying at work cause he won't return her call, nor will his friend. Well the started out driving to New Mexico, Denver, Utah and all these other places. Well 2 days later he calls her and says "Hey" and she was like I have left you upteen messages are you okay, and he goes were fine I'm in Utah and I don't get phone reception here? I was like thinking Okay, oh and the kicker she mentioned they were sleeping some in a tent, mind you a tent for one person, and she said they did get hotels but they were rooms with one king bed??? (and his response to her was saving money) I was like hmmmmm. and she is clueless... And the whole time I'm thinking this trip was a huge bangfest... but i don't want to tell her that? Oh also today she was saying they are back and he brought shirts back for the neighbors whom are gay, Bob and Tom and didn't bring her nothing back. lol... Oh and she even said her husband and suily?? went to the movies and was gone for 5 hours. She goes I don't know what they were doing and I'm thinking hmmmmmm.

    I just don't know about this one???? here for three weeks, hasn't seen the guy in 5 years, trip??? hmmm What shall I say to her, it's none of my business but I feel bad for her, cause I think she is sensing something?
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    Jul 21, 2010 2:12 AM GMT
    Wow...ummm...yeah... that sounds like a trip that's a total fuckfest. ...and, honestly, if she's that clueless.... I dunno what to say. ...maybe he's not gay and is just bi and getting some of it out of his system for another 5 years.... but.... just....damn...
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    Jul 21, 2010 2:34 AM GMT


    Gimie a break and stop creating such drama filled soap operas. I go fishing w/ a group of guys (stricon_cool.gif every summer. What started off as 4 or 5 guys has turned out to be 12 plus at times. We usually stay at a friends parents house out east for the weekend. W/ so many guys some share a bed as know one wants to sleep on the floor. I don't think anyone cares cause we've known ea other for so long. You don't know what the dynamics of their relationship are. What you know is one side....HERS! Maybe the guy is frustrated and shes a bitch? Who knows but what I do know is not everything is revolved around sex.
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    Jul 21, 2010 2:35 AM GMT
    Either way... even if he's not, he's treating her like shit.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jul 21, 2010 2:47 AM GMT
    I say you mind your business. This has nothing to do with you. If you two were best friends I would still say mind your business. Unless you know for sure he is gay and has caught him in the act with photos than you should mind your business. Because if you are wrong you will come out looking like a idiot
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    Jul 21, 2010 2:48 AM GMT
    All make valid points, however she is a real nice person, and a good person, but I don't know how their marriage is, but she seems really botherd about it and I have been the one to hear about it. So I hope all works out for them but I do agree he is kinda treatin her crappy.
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    Jul 21, 2010 2:55 AM GMT
    well..get yourself a nice video camera and go along next time in 5 years... work up your lighting skills and you can be the next gazillionaire with brokeback II
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    Jul 21, 2010 3:02 AM GMT
    All I see is one big continuous paragraph that's too long to read. icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 21, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    It all sounds very Brokeback Mountain to me...
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    Jul 21, 2010 4:12 AM GMT
    I would tell her that she needs to confront her husband once the guy is gone (assuming he leaves!) If she is crying on your shoulder, and asking what you think, then I would be honest and tell her. If she's not asking for your advice, then I would just listen, and give her a box of tissues. I think the video idea is a great one...just make sure you post it so we can all watch icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 21, 2010 4:24 AM GMT
    acinthecity saidIt all sounds very Brokeback Mountain to me...
    Fuck, I was just about to type that! icon_lol.gif
  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Jul 21, 2010 4:26 AM GMT
    acinthecity saidIt all sounds very Brokeback Mountain to me...


    my thoughts exactly icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 21, 2010 4:40 AM GMT
    Mohannned said
    acinthecity saidIt all sounds very Brokeback Mountain to me...


    my thoughts exactly icon_wink.gif


    I was thinking this subject has probably been dealt with in a few dozen pornos by now. icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 21, 2010 4:46 AM GMT
    This story is so biased it's sickening. I would just mind my own business unless I could prove without a reasonable doubt that something funny was going on and even then it sounds like you are more of an listening person then an actual friend so again it wouldn't be your place to say what's what.

    You are only getting one side of the story...HERS. Have you met the hubby? She could be the nicest person in public eyes but people have a nasty habit of changing when there's no one around watching them and naturally they tend to make themselves out to be victims when in reality that is clearly not the case. Personally, I'd mind my own business but if I was like you and so easily sucked into the hype of this madness then I guess the best thing to do would be to tell her this phrase "TRUST BUT VERIFY".

    If she has reason to believe something is going on then she needs to "woman up" and confront the situation. If she can't do that then she needs to just let it go because clearly she's not ready to handle the truth and doesn't want to handle it. It sounds like she has some trust issues and it sounds she's looking for someone to feel sorry for her. It sounds like the hubby made a friend after HS, got together with him after 5 years. Does she know if they stayed in contact with each other? Funny thing about phones and computers. They went on a cross country trip and stayed in a tent, which I'm wondering how does she how many people could fit in it? They stayed in hotel and it had a one bed in it. Big deal. My friends and I did stuff like that to save money as well and then you have to consider what's available. Maybe one of them slept on the couch/chair/floor. Who knows? She doesn't but her mind is wandering and thinking the worst. She couldn't get in contact with him on the trip. They are called dead zones and then there's fact that she sounds like a nag so naturally most men avoid that. Nothing new there.

    You tell this story to anyone and they are gonna think she's paranoid and think she's trying to make something out of nothing, which by the looks of it she is. She's got options if she really wants an answer that bad or she could trust her man until given a reason to do otherwise.

    At the end of the day of though it's really none of your business so unless you plan on stirring the pot then don't pick up the spoon. Don't entertain it.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jul 21, 2010 4:47 AM GMT
    The answer to your problem is in your last sentence....and I mean this with respect.....it's none of your business....BUD
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    Jul 21, 2010 4:48 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    acinthecity saidIt all sounds very Brokeback Mountain to me...
    Fuck, I was just about to type that! icon_lol.gif



    just providing the illustrations icon_smile.gif


    Brokeback Mountain Soundtrack Pictures, Images and Photos


    Brokeback Mountain Pictures, Images and Photos
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    Jul 21, 2010 4:56 AM GMT
    DFWguy saidAll make valid points, however she is a real nice person, and a good person, but I don't know how their marriage is, but she seems really botherd about it and I have been the one to hear about it. So I hope all works out for them but I do agree he is kinda treatin her crappy.


    get one of your loud gay friends to talk to her.. and ia m sure he will be like:


    " Your man is Queer , Honey" and bitch slaps her
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    Jul 21, 2010 4:57 AM GMT
    Maybe she's a stone cold bitch and he likes to get away?
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    Jul 21, 2010 5:01 AM GMT
    This is what needs to happen.

    You need to introduce her to Lafayette and let him show her what's what.

    "Tip your waitress."
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    Jul 21, 2010 5:02 AM GMT
    To begin, grammar is a gay guys best friend; that massive paragraph is killing my Australian Shiraz buzz!!!

    Secondly, if she is JUST a coworker, then let the her sort that convoluted situation out by herself. Yes, it is difficult to see anyone being mistreated especially if there is some sort of daily interaction between you two. However, unless that relation is becoming abusive, then you need step back and let that situation play its course. If her personal life is effecting the quality of work, then your boss needs to get 'all up in her grill' because that is something she needs to handle OUTSIDE of work.

    Finally, where is the fuckfest? I wanna go!!!
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    Jul 21, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    Don't say anything to her of what you just posted. Their lives are their lives. Be a good friend instead with there-theres if necessary but no interference or speculation.

  • DallasCali6Da...

    Posts: 147

    Jul 21, 2010 5:07 AM GMT


    ;-) RIP Joker
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    Jul 21, 2010 5:11 AM GMT
    DFWguy saidI just don't know about this one???? here for three weeks, hasn't seen the guy in 5 years, trip??? hmmm What shall I say to her, it's none of my business but I feel bad for her, cause I think she is sensing something?

    Just got 1 question for ya: how did the wife know they were staying in rooms with a single kind-sized bed? The husband wouldn't have volunteered that info, and not something that comes up in a conversation. If this was just last week she wouldn't have seen the charges on a credit card bill yet, either, which might not have contained the lodging details anyway.

    I wonder if she's fabricating this story (or else you are). To answer your question, I would stay away from it, and say nothing. Even if he did have a Brokeback Mountain moment, that's between him & her, nothing to do with you. Don't be a nosey & meddlesome queen.
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    Jul 21, 2010 5:15 AM GMT
    Wilton said
    DFWguy saidI just don't know about this one???? here for three weeks, hasn't seen the guy in 5 years, trip??? hmmm What shall I say to her, it's none of my business but I feel bad for her, cause I think she is sensing something?

    Just got 1 question for ya: how did the wife know they were staying in rooms with a single kind-sized bed? The husband wouldn't have volunteered that info, and not something that comes up in a conversation. If this was just last week she wouldn't have seen the charges on a credit card bill yet, either, which might not have contained the lodging details anyway.

    I wonder if she's fabricating this story (or else you are). To answer your question, I would stay away from it, and say nothing. Even if he did have a Brokeback Mountain moment, that's between him & her, nothing to do with you. Don't be a nosey & meddlesome queen.


    all good points, fake story me thinks.
  • coastguy90814

    Posts: 661

    Jul 21, 2010 5:17 AM GMT
    DFWguy saidTell me what do you all think? My co worker has been acting very different and it all started last week when her husband went off on a roadtrip with his friend. His friend Silvy, or whatever his name is came from Ohio to visit her husband and has been here for three weeks, well him and her husband became friends after HS she mentioned and haven't seen each other in 5 years, well they planned there trip and she kept asking them what's your agenda, well they never told her. Well after of two days of her not hearing from them, she is all crying at work cause he won't return her call, nor will his friend. Well the started out driving to New Mexico, Denver, Utah and all these other places. Well 2 days later he calls her and says "Hey" and she was like I have left you upteen messages are you okay, and he goes were fine I'm in Utah and I don't get phone reception here? I was like thinking Okay, oh and the kicker she mentioned they were sleeping some in a tent, mind you a tent for one person, and she said they did get hotels but they were rooms with one king bed??? (and his response to her was saving money) I was like hmmmmm. and she is clueless... And the whole time I'm thinking this trip was a huge bangfest... but i don't want to tell her that? Oh also today she was saying they are back and he brought shirts back for the neighbors whom are gay, Bob and Tom and didn't bring her nothing back. lol... Oh and she even said her husband and suily?? went to the movies and was gone for 5 hours. She goes I don't know what they were doing and I'm thinking hmmmmmm.

    I just don't know about this one???? here for three weeks, hasn't seen the guy in 5 years, trip??? hmmm What shall I say to her, it's none of my business but I feel bad for her, cause I think she is sensing something?


    Dude, this is quite simple...as you said...this is really none of your business ;-)