Dealing With the Death of a Loved one

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2010 3:33 AM GMT
    Getting a call from the hospital. Being the health care proxy for a friend and having to instruct the hospital " take the respirator off". Dealing with being in the stuff.....material services.........not wanting to deal with it/dealing with it because it's the right thing to do........ people are depending on you..........memories..........not thinking you can handle all the nonsense and then realizing that you can and that you aren't the first person having to deal with this shit.

    Death. Has anyone ever been suddenly thrown into being the main person having to deal with the death of a loved one/important person in your life?

    And all I want to do is kayaking on the lake.icon_mad.gif

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    Jul 21, 2010 12:05 PM GMT
    Ouch... All I really care to say on a public forum for now is Yes, I have had to do it... My father; and it was pulling the feeding tube because he was too damn stubborn to stop breathing...

    If you need somebody who has been through it PM me... on the other hand, there will likely be others who you know a bit better or are comfortable with.

    Take your own advice and go kayaking on the lake- I bought a kayak when it became clear what decision I was going to have to make... Take the time away from it all- believe me, it will be there for you when you get back. It will be there for months- depending on the estate and those involved, possibly even years.

    Don't burn yourself out caring for everyone and everything. Do what you need to do immediately for the service and make the decisions that you need to make, but don't let others push you too hard when it comes to the will, estate, lawyers, money... People who aren't doing the work seem to think it can be wrapped up in a week- at least they think that if you were making the effort it could be. Simple fact is that it often takes a good year by the time the final taxes are done, the banks are notified, the IRA accounts emptied and the utility companies notified...

    Take time on the lake to be alone with you memories...
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    Jul 22, 2010 6:09 AM GMT
    When Dad died Mom went to pieces and so Bill and I stepped up to the plate, so to speak. The will, the undiscovered debt, everyone's shock including ours, as Dad dropped at breakfast. No warning. We burned through all our vacation and kept going to her place to keep things running (5 acre farm) for months. It was easy to forget to take time for us.

    warm hugs and thoughts your way, good friend!