Some of my writing...

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    Jul 22, 2010 7:12 AM GMT
    A few of you guys mentioned you were interested in reading some of the things I've written. I mainly write scripts, but I do have a few little diddys that I can share. Both of these pieces helped me win a nation-wide contest. They were published in an anthology, and led to me being named as one of "America's Young Writers to Watch For." I hope you enjoy.

    -Josh



    A Broken Path

    Pity, we've all become such broken beings.
    In theory, the discovery and deliverance
    Of a righteous life should be an easy
    Accomplishment to obtain.
    Unfortunately, due to our own discretion,
    We find ourselves in a constant war for atonement -
    Forever bound within its threshold.
    Why do we find a life of honesty so compromising?
    Is it weakness or strength found within this indecision?
    Maybe a dislike to harm is to blame.
    Perhaps the truth lies in fear.
    Answers to these unknowns await their tidings,
    However, they are never brought forth.
    So together we walk down this broken path
    Others have tread before us, forgetting their mistakes,
    And reinventing them for ourselves.




    Alone

    To be alone. Live without living.
    Lost in a generation that flocks
    In one direction
    While you stand paralyzed
    In the midst. Confused
    About what lies ahead.
    Unable to fathom what demon or angel
    Might enter your life after you take another step.
    Fear takes control when you realize
    That even your reflection exists disfigured in a shattered mirror.
    No, not the mirror. The mirror remains flawless.
    A revelation - you - broken and mutilated.
    You search desperately for a sanctuary
    In hopes of healing your deepest wounds.
    No hope. You are cut from the inside out,
    Shredded into microscopic tatters of humanity.
    No longer seen. No longer heard. Always attacked.
    You'll always be feared.
    You'll always be you.
    If only you knew that being you
    Is more than enough.
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    Jul 22, 2010 7:49 AM GMT
    Awesome poetry! You definitely have an incredible talent. icon_biggrin.gif
    You should post this in the "Realjock Art Gallery" (aka: Art forum).
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 22, 2010 12:37 PM GMT
    recused
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    Jul 22, 2010 1:43 PM GMT
    Wow, The second one is pensive/reflective dynamite!

    lol, inward is not always quiet.

    -Doug
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    Jul 22, 2010 2:14 PM GMT
    Very intense...
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    Jul 22, 2010 2:39 PM GMT
    A bit emo for my taste.
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    Jul 22, 2010 2:49 PM GMT
    i_love_you.jpg
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    Jul 22, 2010 2:56 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidA bit emo for my taste.


    lol. Yeah, the second one was pretty emo!
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    Jul 22, 2010 3:03 PM GMT
    ugh, I despise that term, emo. Too trite. icon_lol.gif


    -Doug
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    Jul 22, 2010 3:06 PM GMT
    meninlove said ugh, I despise that term, emo. Too trite. icon_lol.gif


    -Doug


    I can do better.

    It was emotionally one-dimensional with a soupcon of saccharin.
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    Jul 22, 2010 3:09 PM GMT
    Oh my, now you're a-talkin'!

    lol, I critiqued one of my own poems with,

    " Rather like an over-done confection." I thought Bill was going to burst til I told him it was OK to laugh.

    -Doug
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    Jul 22, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    meninlove said Oh my, now you're a-talkin'!

    lol, I critiqued one of my own poems with,

    " Rather like an over-done confection." I thought Bill was going to burst til I told him it was OK to laugh.

    -Doug


    See now I'm craving something topped with lavender food-colored coconut. Jejune!
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    Jul 22, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    Wow, this is the best poetry I've read on RJ. Bravo!

    In fact, A Broken Path reminds me of that dream I had years ago. It was so profound and so deep that I woke up to a world with a different perspective and pitied the "soul carriers" who never realized their full potential that was always with them...including myself.
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    Jul 22, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    Hey, give us a few more Epiphany77!


    rofl, Ciarsolo, you forgot the dark chocolate artful drizzle and the powdered sugar in a dusty trail across the center. Yes my poem was that bad.

    icon_lol.gif -Doug
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    Jul 22, 2010 4:28 PM GMT
    Love it.
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    Jul 22, 2010 4:36 PM GMT
    Man, you have a very good talent for pulling things together at the right time in your two works that you posted. And you also have a good talent for rhythm and then using a lack of it to better show the emotion of the poem. I see why you won. They just contain so many stylistic elements in a decently short piece. Short pieces that can convey an ocean's worth of meaning are always powerful and meaningful, and you seem to hit it on the head with those. The first one i was skeptical at first but then halfway through everything started to be pulled together and the abundance of contentment inside of me was obvious. I love poetry and write a good bit myself. Not for contests. I refuse to let anyone publish my stuff. Although some of my friends are about to kill me for not doing so, but its not the reason why I write. But your talents are good enough to be appreciated by the masses. I'm glad you posted these and that i happened to come up on them. I would love to read more.

    Sorry for the long intense response lol
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    Jul 22, 2010 9:43 PM GMT
    Emotive and lyrical. Excellent, especially the first poem.