What do you and your partenr argue about and how do you resolve disputes?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2008 11:45 PM GMT
    My partner and I rarely argue...because I won't let him talk about politics...so I'm not a very good one to start this topic. I think we avoid arguments by discussing most things before one makes a decision that impacts or may impact the other. Even as simple a decision as accepting a party or dinner invitation gets discussed with the other before a commitment is made.

    My straight law partner asked me the other day why two guys had to discuss simple decisions before making them...apparently a client had said he needed to discuss a matter with his BF before making a decision. My law partner said, if the decision was between he and his wife, he would simply have made the decision without consulting her. My answer was that two men think of each other as equals, and need to discuss matters; whereas, he and his wife had a different way of handling things...he made the business/money decisions; his wife made household/children decisions.

    How do you and your partner handle those decisions, and where there's conflict, resolve it. I think it is a particularly necessary skill for long term relationships.
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    Feb 13, 2008 12:07 AM GMT
    After 9 years we have tackled most of the big things, now we only talk in petty.
    We fight about how what "tone" we use when we are talking to each other.
    We argue about my sarcasm .
    I am an optimist and he is a pessimist....so he gets pissed about my sunny outlook and general silliness.
    We also own a business together, so we argue about who has to do all of the problem solving with lazy employees. We then argue about who works harder and more.
    Then we argue about dinner.... and what to eat. He always wants mexican and I always want Thai or Italian.
    Last night I got pissed about how he demanded I hand him the remote. lol. sad but true.


    Otherwise, we NEVER argue..icon_biggrin.gif jk.
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    Feb 13, 2008 1:53 AM GMT
    I thought arguing was the point - then you get to the fun of making up!

    Our big fights so far have been financial, though not traditional. The big problem - as I have seen it - has been getting him to accept that what is mine is also his now.

    For the most part, neither of us makes any big decision without consulting the other.

    I think your answer to your law partner was spot on though - in some ways we do communicate more because we think of each other as equals; and outside of traditionally defined roles.

    As for resolving problems; we have agreed never to go to bed angry. Yes - that has meant a couple of sleepless nights talking - then making up! icon_lol.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 13, 2008 2:00 AM GMT
    We make big decisions that effect us both or our money together, but we don't always consult.

    We do argue, but it's the small things really. Like the fact he's extremely untidy.
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    Feb 13, 2008 3:59 AM GMT
    Ah, the big stuff:
    Verb tenses
    Misappropriated pronouns
    Colors

    I have no idea who the !@#*% he's talking about half the time, since the story starts with someone's first name, no last, no context, no adjectives. If two people mentioned in the first sentence are male, the second sentence always begins with "He..." Which !@#*%'n He is he talking about?

    Afterward he clubs me into submission with his sweet demeanor.

    I think I'm developing hardening of the arteries.
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    Feb 13, 2008 4:09 AM GMT
    Normally when we argue its over nothing. Absolutely nothing. Something small turned big. He said, she said sort of mess. We don't talk for 10 min then make out like crazy.
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    Feb 13, 2008 4:24 AM GMT
    We havent had any real arguments....yet. But we get on the verge of one when we race issues come up. The one time we almost got into it....we were on the phone and I was just giving him shit but in a playful way. He was going through something and snapped at me and hung up on me. I hate when people do that. So i called him back to verify that he hung up. He knew already that I was pissed. I told him i would talk to him later and said good night. The next day I received an email apologizing. So we made up but I told him if he ever did that again there would be a problem...
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    Feb 13, 2008 1:30 PM GMT
    My partner and I don't argue often either, but I think it's because we're conflict-averse and also because there aren't too many hills that either of us would die on. We do check in with each other before we make any social commitments, issues regarding money and the home, and travel--saves a lot of grief!
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    Feb 13, 2008 2:26 PM GMT
    mnjock2003 saidAfter 9 years we have tackled most of the big things, now we only talk in petty.
    We fight about how what "tone" we use when we are talking to each other.
    We argue about my sarcasm .
    I am an optimist and he is a pessimist....so he gets pissed about my sunny outlook and general silliness.
    We also own a business together, so we argue about who has to do all of the problem solving with lazy employees. We then argue about who works harder and more.
    Then we argue about dinner.... and what to eat. He always wants mexican and I always want Thai or Italian.
    Last night I got pissed about how he demanded I hand him the remote. lol. sad but true.


    Otherwise, we NEVER argue..icon_biggrin.gif jk.



    Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh the perfect relationship and that's what is sound's like to me!!