need help trying to find a relationship

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2010 7:29 AM GMT
    any tips?

    I really would like to find someone that can be more than a one night stand. It seems to be very elusive. Don't get me wrong I enjoy the sex but i would really like more than that. I am at the point in my life where it would be nice to wake up next to a good looking guy that i connect with on higher level than just getting my dick sucked.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2010 7:34 AM GMT
    Well you're on the right track, because it often does (and did for us) seem elusive.

    The more prereqs you have for a partner, the more elusive it is.

    We also think knowing your needs as opposed to your wants helps a great deal. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2010 11:08 AM GMT
    joing social groups, especially something that you enjoy ( a fitness group of some sort ) or even start your own if none around!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2010 11:21 AM GMT
    Hey Man,

    I'll support the good words and wisdom of the guys speaking ahead of me, but I'll add a few extra tips.

    1. Do you know what you are looking for in a male companion?

    If not, define them, but do not limit yourself to positive characteristics, though different, may intrigue you.

    If yes, go to number 2.

    2. Are you flexible?

    Because you're in the military, are you willing to work with your male partner during these hard times if you're away or separated from him?

    If so, and your partner does too, move to step 3.

    3. Be open, be clear, and above all, take your time with a guy and see what happens.

    Though hookups, as you mentioned, are nice taking the time to communicate and cherish every second with any guy is greater than never experiencing any time at all.

    Its long sometimes, it's painful, and at times frustrating, but you will find him. Take a deep breath, go to the gym, have a nice laugh with a guy, and live your life. He may come by and stop you in your tracks one of these days.

    Now go wise one and meet a few guys...if anything, you will meet a few friends along the way.

    Mike
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    Jul 23, 2010 11:32 AM GMT
    Armyguy1313 saidany tips?

    I really would like to find someone that can be more than a one night stand. It seems to be very elusive. Don't get me wrong I enjoy the sex but i would really like more than that. I am at the point in my life where it would be nice to wake up next to a good looking guy that i connect with on higher level than just getting my dick sucked.





    Yes stop looking, seems the best way you can meet anyone. Why some might ask, for the simple fact that when you stop looking you don't have your guard up and don't have the mental check list on

    e.g.
    [ ] does he have a good job so I don't have to support him financially?

    [ ] does he have his own car cause I don't want to have to drive to and from his place, when he clearly has to come to mine cause he's lucky to be dating me

    [ ] does he blah blah blah

    So yes it was a bit harsh but it also gets rather depressing when someone says I want to be with a hot guy (first wrong thing you can say about dating cause your not looking for love your looking for eye candy mainly) who I can fuck and or get fucked by and then maybe go to dinner with.

    Anyways that's my two cents, stop looking and maybe someone will ask you out cause there are those out there that avoid the ones looking cause it shows clingy or some shit like that.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jul 23, 2010 1:17 PM GMT
    To the OP, if you're having all these one night stands it kinda sends out the message that you're looking for one night stands and you're not looking for a relationship. Actions speak louder than words. Regardless of what you say, examine your actions and see if you're actually putting more effort into just hook ups and sex than really finding someone to connect with.

    As another RJer mentioned, the fact that you're looking for a "good looking guy" also seems to indicate you're looking for someone to have sexual relations with and not really someone to share a life with.

    Maybe at this point you really are getting exactly what you are truly looking for, which may not be a bad thing after all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2010 3:34 PM GMT
    Armyguy1313 saidany tips?

    I really would like to find someone that can be more than a one night stand. It seems to be very elusive. Don't get me wrong I enjoy the sex but i would really like more than that. I am at the point in my life where it would be nice to wake up next to a good looking guy that i connect with on higher level than just getting my dick sucked.




    I understand where you are coming from in some sense, however don't get to excited or your hopes up, usually when you find MR. DREAMY, he usually turns into someone else. And if you find McSteamy usually it lasts only for a short period of time... So it's all finding what you want. And the good-looking part????? you gotta not concentrate on that cause that kinda makes you look like you you still want the McSteamy like relationship which won't last long. icon_cry.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 23, 2010 4:58 PM GMT
    It all depends on where you are looking and the steps you take to completion. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2010 5:00 PM GMT
    Follow a passion create a career and focus on you. Then someone will be all dang I want that. And then they come to you. It's win win for all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2010 5:29 PM GMT
    Stop trying. Often when you are out there searching, you are, even if you are not aware of it, trying to be the most charming, the most funny, and the most clever to try to impress and be the most attractive. You are actually the most attractive and most impressive when you are just being yourself. Go out to the bar with friends, just because you want to hang with with good friends. Go to the gym just because you want to work out. Join a gay sports team or group just because it is an activity you like. Join a gay rights group or volunteer somewhere just because the cause or the need is the right thing to do. You might run into the right person when you are just out there being yourself and doing the things you like to do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2010 8:03 PM GMT
    Should have joined the Navy…
    Seriously, when guys say they are looking for a relationship instead of all the one night stands, I can’t help but wonder out of how many of those hook-ups; one of them tried/wanted a second date, but for whatever reason you chose not to call them again?

  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Jul 23, 2010 8:07 PM GMT
    Try not putting out on the first date....just tease alittle....keep'em coming back for more....icon_wink.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Jul 26, 2010 12:34 PM GMT



    Then Come to me Handsome icon_wink.gif