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How to top a top?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2010 8:23 AM GMT
    Hello Guys,

    Some good advice and tips needed, my partner is top and I am bottom, I would like to top him to see how it feels but not sure how to approach it..... he likes having his arse played with, rimmed, stroked.... but nothing shoved in his arse.... maybe that's why I have grown obsessed with it!

    Now I love being a bottom and it may seem odd to come onto a forum and ask for advise but I can be feisty when I don't get my own way..... that's why I am asking for help......!

    Many thanks for reading this!
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    Jul 23, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    (It isn't clear from your post if you've never topped at all before, or just never topped your partner.)

    Don't try to be sneaky about it or "seduce" him into it... That isn't very likely to work, and the attempts will probably frustrate both of you.

    Just be open with him that this is something that's been growing on your mind, and it's becoming more important to you to at least try. If topping is something you've never done before, it might be something you do once in your life, or it might be something you discover you love.

    But... just as you have the right to ask your partner for something like this, he has the right to say "no", and he might.

    If he says "no" then -- depending on how important this need is to you -- you may want to have a *later* conversation with him about getting this need met another way. Perhaps he would consider inviting another bottom-guy into your bedroom on a one-time or occasional basis for you to have this need met?
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    Jul 23, 2010 4:52 PM GMT
    Hello and thanks FitExecutive for your reply,

    Good advice, I have never topped anyone before, been with my partner 3 years now and I love him very much, to be honest if he said no I would survive but its just the idea has become a fantasy of mine and I would really like to try it out to see what it feels like..... so its time to communicate with him! I will ask him in a kind and adult way when the moment is right!
    A 3some isn't an option because its my partner I want to experience this with.

    You come across a really sound guy, thank you and I hope you have a great weekend
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    Jul 23, 2010 5:16 PM GMT
    two types of top: mental and physical. Some people have a mental problem with "being the woman". These people need to admit they are gay and seek pyschological help.

    Others have various physical hang ups (it hurts, don´t know what to do, how will it fit in, I just enjoy topping and tried bottoming at least 3 times when i was 17 so stop going on about it).

    Work out which he is and go from there. Physical hang ups are easy to deal with. Ask within for details.
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    Jul 23, 2010 5:47 PM GMT
    Thanks Lostboy,

    You are top, do you have a partner? if yes would you let him top you if if he wanted to try it out for a little role reversal fun?

    I get what you are saying, I am happy being the bottom, don't want things to change forever as I respect him and want him to be the top because it satisfies us both, he is happy in his sexual role but I am just exploring and seeking advice!

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    Jul 23, 2010 6:00 PM GMT
    I used to be a manly, masc, straight acting 100% top, but that was mostly because I was scared of bottoming and didn´t know what to do. I taught myself to be vers because I can´t stand the utter crap that some guys buy into about bottoms being "girly", "fem", "less gay" etc.

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    Jul 23, 2010 11:32 PM GMT
    Have spoken to my man and he said yes to me topping him! (didn't think it would be that easy!) he will be coming home from work soonI so I am signing off now! its gonna be a fun long night! icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 24, 2010 2:31 AM GMT
    Here's wishing you both a wonderful experience! icon_smile.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2010 3:16 AM GMT
    Happy Fucking!!! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 24, 2010 7:38 AM GMT
    Thanks for the replies guys,

    It was amazing, was odd at first but after a while I just went for it! wouldn't want to do it everyday but it did feel really good as I found my confidence! my man was really patient and let me find a position which I liked.... missionary was my favourite as a beginner!

    Didn't realise how much hard work it was! icon_wink.gif

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  • kew1

    Posts: 1619

    Jul 24, 2010 8:01 AM GMT
    Jamesuk saidThanks for the replies guys,

    It was amazing, was odd at first but after a while I just went for it! wouldn't want to do it everyday but it did feel really good as I found my confidence! my man was really patient and let me find a position which I liked.... missionary was my favourite as a beginner!

    Didn't realise how much hard work it was! icon_wink.gif



    But how was it for him?
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    Jul 24, 2010 11:31 PM GMT
    He said it hurt at first but after a while it eased up a bit, he openly said he didn't want it all the time but when I really desire it he will happily satisfy my needs, he also said he didn't hate it but prefers topping me, we have to meet in the middle and just relax, its just sex and lets enjoy it!

    I wont be doing it again in a rush but when the mood takes me I will ask! icon_wink.gif

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  • Moishendlishu...

    Posts: 435

    Jul 26, 2010 4:54 AM GMT
    topping is def a lot of work lol. Way more performance issues to deal with, but the visual aspects and pleasing of your lover make it soooooo worth it.
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    Jul 26, 2010 4:55 AM GMT
    Jamesuk saidHe said it hurt at first but after a while it eased up a bit, he openly said he didn't want it all the time but when I really desire it he will happily satisfy my needs, he also said he didn't hate it but prefers topping me, we have to meet in the middle and just relax, its just sex and lets enjoy it!

    I wont be doing it again in a rush but when the mood takes me I will ask! icon_wink.gif



    I am so happy this was the outcome. The fastest way to a relationship with a stale sex life is not not communicate about your changing desires. So, this is great that you guys were able to chat and be open to new experiences.
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:26 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie said
    Jamesuk saidHe said it hurt at first but after a while it eased up a bit, he openly said he didn't want it all the time but when I really desire it he will happily satisfy my needs, he also said he didn't hate it but prefers topping me, we have to meet in the middle and just relax, its just sex and lets enjoy it!

    I wont be doing it again in a rush but when the mood takes me I will ask! icon_wink.gif



    I am so happy this was the outcome. The fastest way to a relationship with a stale sex life is not not communicate about your changing desires. So, this is great that you guys were able to chat and be open to new experiences.


    Thank you MunchingZombie, to be honest I was very surprised how easy it all turned out, we just talked calmly and it happened! I can sometimes be too direct with my requests and the other half digs his heels in and then it becomes a battle of wills! now I have learnt if I want to experience something new I will have be a grown adult and not a spoilt child!

    Life hey, sometimes its the simple route that works!

    Have a good week
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:28 PM GMT
    you two are now my heros.
    icon_wink.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:34 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidyou two are now my heros.
    icon_wink.gif


    Hmmm, time to get the gag out icon_twisted.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2010 9:07 AM GMT
    hrmmm be a little rough with your tongue when you rim him and be patient
    if its worth having its work workign slowly towards
    eventually youll notice his hole loosening and hell probably want something in it tho depending on why he doesnt want to bottom i guess
    but yeah patience and persevierance
    dont ever try to force in or anyhting liek that either
    .... like that water erosion thing they allways talk about in martial arts
    the water beats the boulder
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