Lets go out

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2010 7:45 AM GMT

    Ok so I went out tonight and it was like any other night where I find 1 or 2 "str8" guys that seem to be more interested in getting my attention than normal. By this time after I have just taken it to be that maybe I am just reading too much into what people say or do but after flirting for awhile I ended up exchanging numbers with one of the guys from tonight and he has been texting me.

    It all kinda feels like its not really happening so I don't want to get overly excited but towards the end of our conversation he said "hey we should go out tomorrow" I initially thought like oh ok we will all go out and get drunk again and I just said sure ok. He said ok do you want to go out around 6 or 7 and he asked me where I wanted to eat. I said oh where ever is good for you is fine. but I am questioning if he is just wanting to hang out like all str8 guys or if he is actually asking me out on a date.

    I am a closet case, which explains the beautiful pic, so I didnt ask but I am all nervous now! I dont want to go in putting a lot into this if he is actually str8. This will be my official first date if it is a date FYI

    After typing this maybe I should just go on thinking its just 2 guys going out to eat and hanging out instead of complicating things... Sorry RJ for wasting your time
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2010 12:03 PM GMT
    When you learn to fully express YOURSELF as a gay male.. e.g. coming out of the closet...you'll understand the shorthand and not have to dance around the subject as much.

    For now, just have fun till you decide to live out and proud
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jul 24, 2010 12:42 PM GMT
    Well, I'm not sure, but straight guys usually don't meet another guy at a bar, flirt all night, exchange numbers, text the guy, and ask him to dinner for the following night. At least none of them have done that to me.
  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Jul 24, 2010 12:46 PM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidWell, I'm not sure, but straight guys usually don't meet another guy at a bar, flirt all night, exchange numbers, text the guy, and ask him to dinner for the following night. At least none of them have done that to me.


    lol... that's what i thought bout this thread hahaha
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Jul 24, 2010 1:28 PM GMT
    Haha. I thought this was going to be a call for a massive series of RJ outings. All local RJ guys head out to some bar or what not.


    I gotta say. I don't know how closet gays meet eachother.
    I feel like there's a level of social awareness that I haven't honed for want of being in a pretty sexually open atmosphere much of my life.
    (I still have people letting me know, after the fact, that so-and-so I was talking with was hitting on me... It's a weird feeling to realize afterwards... icon_smile.gif

    Anyway, OP, from your description... um yeah, that doesn't sound like normal platonic bro-ishness. Just go, have fun, and be open to non-platonic possibilities.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2010 2:22 PM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidWell, I'm not sure, but straight guys usually don't meet another guy at a bar, flirt all night, exchange numbers, text the guy, and ask him to dinner for the following night. At least none of them have done that to me.


    Yep that is true. Also you can tell by the place he picks for eating, if its the opposite of a sports bar, then its most probably a date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2010 2:25 PM GMT
    It's hard to tell what went on between you guys and the situation in where you met also matters, i.e. if it was at a friends house you both have in common or in a sweaty gay bar (for example).
    but I say don't get your hopes up or your nerves wrecked.
    Chances are this guy just wants to hang out and be friends. People do it all the time.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jul 24, 2010 2:30 PM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidWell, I'm not sure, but straight guys usually don't meet another guy at a bar, flirt all night, exchange numbers, text the guy, and ask him to dinner for the following night. At least none of them have done that to me.


    It's happened to me many times, and I'm still confused by it. The only thing I can say is that it never ended in sex. But that might be because I'm too dense to know how to handle the situation. The last time this has happened was with a guy from work, and during the whole movie our bare arms and bare legs were touching.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2010 2:37 PM GMT
    I say treat it like its a date and get to know each other more, relax, have fun. Then you guys will know where to take it from there.
    Bring protection just in case, lol! icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2010 2:39 PM GMT
    I dont know why this reminded me of George Michael's video "Outside", lol!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2010 2:47 PM GMT
    Don't have any expectations about tonight. Don't overdress; don't underdress. Keep everything middle of road. Accept it as a dinner. Enjoy the food, the drinks, and the company. Let it be what it is to be. Observe the facial and hand expressions. Take note of the topics that are discussed. And let it evolve--whether it be as friendship or as a love interest.

    Good luck! :-)
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Jul 24, 2010 2:58 PM GMT
    marcobruno1978 saidDon't have any expectations about tonight. Don't overdress; don't underdress. Keep everything middle of road.


    There's no such thing as underdressing!!!
    (IMO)
    icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2010 6:11 PM GMT
    asnextdoor said
    jlly_rnchr saidWell, I'm not sure, but straight guys usually don't meet another guy at a bar, flirt all night, exchange numbers, text the guy, and ask him to dinner for the following night. At least none of them have done that to me.


    Yep that is true. Also you can tell by the place he picks for eating, if its the opposite of a sports bar, then its most probably a date.


    ...and even that's not necessarily true, my last boyfriend and my first date was out to a sports bar... although, he plays baseball for my college and the Braves were on, but nonetheless, it's an enjoyable place for a date.... almost as good as actually going out to a real game. icon_biggrin.gif

    But, OP, like the other guys have said I can't really tell that much without being there, but just go into it with the expectation of its just another dude wanting to hang out and all... and if it turns out to be more than that, well, all the better.
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    Jul 25, 2010 7:53 AM GMT
    Thank You to everyone who replied to my post. We went out today and it was a lot of fun. After freaking out yesterday I was fine when he came to get me and we had a great time. We talked about like everything but he never said like oh I like you or anything so I guess it was just a friendly hey lets hang out. He said we should do it again and I am going to go into the next meeting the same way. He is a really cool guy
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    Jul 25, 2010 7:56 AM GMT
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    Jul 25, 2010 8:03 AM GMT
    Go get'm Tiger. Hopefully he'll be the one who lubes up your... closet hinges and helps you come out of the closet. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2010 8:17 AM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidWell, I'm not sure, but straight guys usually don't meet another guy at a bar, flirt all night, exchange numbers, text the guy, and ask him to dinner for the following night. At least none of them have done that to me.


    Well I have straight guys ask me for my number all the time within minutes of meeting me... Then ill be eating and hanging out with them all night.... but Im pretty damn sure they are straight though, since they dont give off a single sexual vibe to me, and they do on the girls.... even if I think they are hot ;)... so I cant really agree with that statement
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    Jul 25, 2010 10:21 AM GMT
    I couldn't get to the end of your post
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2010 10:29 AM GMT
    ive gone out with gay guys ive just met for dinner and whatever, just to hang out and start a blossoming friendship, with no mention of sex or anything like that, but as far as str8 guys doing it, i have never heard of that. it occurs to me that it cud happen just as easily, but it doesnt seem like it normally would, specially after just meeting at a bar, and flirting all night? thats not what any str8 man ive ever met wud do lol.
  • Leo123

    Posts: 126

    Jul 25, 2010 11:15 AM GMT
    The exact same thing happened to me a couple of years ago and it became the most heartbreaking experience I've had until today. I fell in love with a guy who turned out to be straight after all. And it all started with a lunch date after exchanging numbers at a straight club.
    It seems to me you're already platonically involved with this guy you know nothing about. Chances are you'll be disappointed in the future if he turns out straight.
    You need to be realistic (it really is that simple). It's important to get your true colors out in the open as soon as possible so you don't get frustrated.
    Next time you go out with him you need to make a clear statement (or move) to show your romantic interest. If he is indeed straight, you need to put your walls back up.. and QUICK.
    Now here's a twist. If he's a closet case, he won't tell a complete stranger he's gay.
    After a lot of thinking, I realized the best way to deal with such situation is to get alcohol involved. Go have a few beers with him and ask him back to your place. If he crosses that line, do your thing.