Guys just disappear

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2010 9:02 PM GMT
    Don't you hate it when you're seeing someone and they just disappear on you? I was seeing this boy for a year then he just disappeared! I thought everything was going great, he said he really liked me and how hot I am, etc etc. We were always talking and texting while I was away at school and he couldn't wait to hang out again this whole summer. I finally see him in Charlottesville (where he lives, only an hour and a half from me) and we hang out for the day watching the US soccer game against Ghana. We hung out around the UVA campus and we just talked about life and our future etc etc. When I was heading back home, he texted me saying he wants to see me again soon. All of a sudden he stopped responding to my texts, facebook messages, and ignores my calls. I was really sad about this because I felt so connected with him icon_cry.gif I thought I was going to spend time with him this whole summer and now my whole summer is ruined, I feel so heartbroken. I wasn't motivated to do anything this summer. I was thinking of going to the beach every other weekend, spend time with him, go to new york together, etc. Now I feel like it was such a waste all that time thinking about him.

    I never say this but I really cant wait till summer is finished. I cant wait to go back to school in the fall. This has been the worst summer I've ever lived through. Why do guys do this? I did hear stories about this happening to alot of guys but I never thought it would happen to me. I dont understand what I did wrong, everything was fine icon_cry.gif
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    Jul 25, 2010 10:15 PM GMT
    I had to respond to this cuz this is what happened to me but I was the guy who disappeared icon_redface.gif I hung out with this guy and we really hit it off, we had an amazing time, and then we talked online, and I was the one talking to him first saying how much I enjoyed spending time with him and he said he felt the same way but then I stopped talking to him and he sent me tons of e-mails and I never answered them cuz I was scared, cuz he wanted sort of a relationship and I wasn't ready for that and till this day I feel really guilty and it's been a year now, so THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, maybe he wasn't ready to be with you, but IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. I had to respond cuz it was so similar to my experience.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:47 AM GMT
    Don't let one guy ruin your whole summer.

    Esp the UVA gays, they suck (I'm just getting my digs in as a JMU almuni)
  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Jul 26, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    Just out of curiosity .. are you certain he is ignoring your calls/texts? If he just abruptly vanished, there could be some unforeseen circumstances (i.e. hospitalized, family problems, death).

    In any event, sorry to hear about your situation. Hope things get better for ya.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 2:44 AM GMT
    You are lucky that he didn't have sex with you and then disappear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 2:49 AM GMT
    That's too bad. People do that some times. You will get over it and move on. Don't think too badly of him, but remember what he did if he tries to come back to you.
  • B71115

    Posts: 482

    Jul 26, 2010 3:09 AM GMT
    devilish_intentions saidI had to respond to this cuz this is what happened to me but I was the guy who disappeared icon_redface.gif I hung out with this guy and we really hit it off, we had an amazing time, and then we talked online, and I was the one talking to him first saying how much I enjoyed spending time with him and he said he felt the same way but then I stopped talking to him and he sent me tons of e-mails and I never answered them cuz I was scared, cuz he wanted sort of a relationship and I wasn't ready for that and till this day I feel really guilty and it's been a year now, so THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, maybe he wasn't ready to be with you, but IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. I had to respond cuz it was so similar to my experience.



    that's amazingly awful to do to somebody. i hate being mean, but really. that is stunningly awful. it's happened to all of us, and it sucks beyond belief. you can't tell the guy you're sorry but you're freaked out and have to run away? can't say a thing? wow. that infuriates me. i don't wish it on you because it's awful, but think about what you've done and don't freakin do it again
  • timcoolkid

    Posts: 69

    Jul 26, 2010 3:19 AM GMT
    TheIStrat saidDon't let one guy ruin your whole summer.

    Esp the UVA gays, they suck (I'm just getting my digs in as a JMU almuni)


    Agreed! They suck (William & Mary here)!
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 26, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    djhace said
    TheIStrat saidDon't let one guy ruin your whole summer.

    Esp the UVA gays, they suck (I'm just getting my digs in as a JMU almuni)


    Agreed! They suck (William & Mary here)!


    hear hear! (they rejected me)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    devilish_intentions saidI had to respond to this cuz this is what happened to me but I was the guy who disappeared icon_redface.gif I hung out with this guy and we really hit it off, we had an amazing time, and then we talked online, and I was the one talking to him first saying how much I enjoyed spending time with him and he said he felt the same way but then I stopped talking to him and he sent me tons of e-mails and I never answered them cuz I was scared, cuz he wanted sort of a relationship and I wasn't ready for that and till this day I feel really guilty and it's been a year now, so THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, maybe he wasn't ready to be with you, but IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. I had to respond cuz it was so similar to my experience.



    That is pretty awful icon_mad.gif but at least I got an idea what he thinks coming from someone who did the same thing lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 3:25 AM GMT
    calibro said
    djhace said
    TheIStrat saidDon't let one guy ruin your whole summer.

    Esp the UVA gays, they suck (I'm just getting my digs in as a JMU almuni)


    Agreed! They suck (William & Mary here)!


    hear hear! (they rejected me)


    Hahaaaa, this boy goes to UPenn but UVA guys do SUCK! UVA's gay community consists nothing but people who are jealous and talk shit about everyone. I have some friends who go there and some of my friends are part of the LGBT groups. I swear, they did nothing but talk so much shit about so many people even I knew! It was horrible, they spread so many rumors lol
  • timcoolkid

    Posts: 69

    Jul 26, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    This happened to me as well, just recently. I was hanging out with this guy and he would tell me how much he enjoyed and wanted to see me more. Then all the sudden he would ignore all my phone calls/emails/txts, etc. But the only difference is that after like a week, he started contacting me again. I totally understand what you're going through - I had my hopes up and was expecting a fun summer with him and he just ruined it. But seriously, there are a lot of other nice guys out there, don't let one person ruin your summer!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 3:29 AM GMT
    This just happened to me....twice. So I'm missing out on the summer Bromance too. One from a guy that said he really liked me, I thought I had some chemistry with and who sent me tons of email...the other I just dated once , had plans to go out again and then BOOM disappeared.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Jul 26, 2010 3:31 AM GMT
    Yes.... it happens often and it is a terrible, terrible way of behaving.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 3:34 AM GMT
    It happens to all of us unfortunately. Some people are just assholes. Sorry to hear though.
    icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 3:46 AM GMT
    B71115 said
    devilish_intentions saidI had to respond to this cuz this is what happened to me but I was the guy who disappeared icon_redface.gif I hung out with this guy and we really hit it off, we had an amazing time, and then we talked online, and I was the one talking to him first saying how much I enjoyed spending time with him and he said he felt the same way but then I stopped talking to him and he sent me tons of e-mails and I never answered them cuz I was scared, cuz he wanted sort of a relationship and I wasn't ready for that and till this day I feel really guilty and it's been a year now, so THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, maybe he wasn't ready to be with you, but IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. I had to respond cuz it was so similar to my experience.



    that's amazingly awful to do to somebody. i hate being mean, but really. that is stunningly awful. it's happened to all of us, and it sucks beyond belief. you can't tell the guy you're sorry but you're freaked out and have to run away? can't say a thing? wow. that infuriates me. i don't wish it on you because it's awful, but think about what you've done and don't freakin do it again


    I feel really guilty, and I won't do it again, and yes, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I did, and I'm sorry icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 4:03 AM GMT
    gypsyboy saidDon't you hate it when you're seeing someone and they just disappear on you? I was seeing this boy for a year then he just disappeared! I thought everything was going great, he said he really liked me and how hot I am, etc etc. We were always talking and texting while I was away at school and he couldn't wait to hang out again this whole summer. I finally see him in Charlottesville (where he lives, only an hour and a half from me) and we hang out for the day watching the US soccer game against Ghana. We hung out around the UVA campus and we just talked about life and our future etc etc. When I was heading back home, he texted me saying he wants to see me again soon. All of a sudden he stopped responding to my texts, facebook messages, and ignores my calls. I was really sad about this because I felt so connected with him icon_cry.gif I thought I was going to spend time with him this whole summer and now my whole summer is ruined, I feel so heartbroken. I wasn't motivated to do anything this summer. I was thinking of going to the beach every other weekend, spend time with him, go to new york together, etc. Now I feel like it was such a waste all that time thinking about him.

    I never say this but I really cant wait till summer is finished. I cant wait to go back to school in the fall. This has been the worst summer I've ever lived through. Why do guys do this? I did hear stories about this happening to alot of guys but I never thought it would happen to me. I dont understand what I did wrong, everything was fine icon_cry.gif


    Hey come over here to San Diego! Summer is just starting here!! You are way too hot to chuck an entire summer over this!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 4:08 AM GMT
    gypsyboy said
    calibro said
    djhace said
    TheIStrat saidDon't let one guy ruin your whole summer.

    Esp the UVA gays, they suck (I'm just getting my digs in as a JMU almuni)


    Agreed! They suck (William & Mary here)!


    hear hear! (they rejected me)


    Hahaaaa, this boy goes to UPenn but UVA guys do SUCK! UVA's gay community consists nothing but people who are jealous and talk shit about everyone. I have some friends who go there and some of my friends are part of the LGBT groups. I swear, they did nothing but talk so much shit about so many people even I knew! It was horrible, they spread so many rumors lol


    That explains it! You should have gotten one from Drexel. UPenn gays (guys) are so pretentious. Im glad i went to Temple U. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 4:13 AM GMT
    devilish_intentions saidI had to respond to this cuz this is what happened to me but I was the guy who disappeared icon_redface.gif I hung out with this guy and we really hit it off, we had an amazing time, and then we talked online, and I was the one talking to him first saying how much I enjoyed spending time with him and he said he felt the same way but then I stopped talking to him and he sent me tons of e-mails and I never answered them cuz I was scared, cuz he wanted sort of a relationship and I wasn't ready for that and till this day I feel really guilty and it's been a year now, so THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, maybe he wasn't ready to be with you, but IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. I had to respond cuz it was so similar to my experience.

    I had to do that to a couple guys a few years ago, and that was AFTER I had already told them 2000 times I didn't want a fucking boyfriend. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 9:13 AM GMT
    gypsyboy saidDon't you hate it when you're seeing someone and they just disappear on you? I was seeing this boy for a year then he just disappeared! I thought everything was going great, he said he really liked me and how hot I am, etc etc. We were always talking and texting while I was away at school and he couldn't wait to hang out again this whole summer. I finally see him in Charlottesville (where he lives, only an hour and a half from me) and we hang out for the day watching the US soccer game against Ghana. We hung out around the UVA campus and we just talked about life and our future etc etc. When I was heading back home, he texted me saying he wants to see me again soon. All of a sudden he stopped responding to my texts, facebook messages, and ignores my calls. I was really sad about this because I felt so connected with him icon_cry.gif I thought I was going to spend time with him this whole summer and now my whole summer is ruined, I feel so heartbroken. I wasn't motivated to do anything this summer. I was thinking of going to the beach every other weekend, spend time with him, go to new york together, etc. Now I feel like it was such a waste all that time thinking about him.

    I never say this but I really cant wait till summer is finished. I cant wait to go back to school in the fall. This has been the worst summer I've ever lived through. Why do guys do this? I did hear stories about this happening to alot of guys but I never thought it would happen to me. I dont understand what I did wrong, everything was fine icon_cry.gif


    You didn't do anything wrong. He's just a flake. Get rid of him. He's not going to change.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 9:17 AM GMT
    I thought the same when a guy did that to me.. I always thought he was a bit of a coward.. but when he stopped talking to me, I knew it for sure... I was devastated, and still not back to the way I was before, probably never will be, but yeah, I cant grow him a pair he has to do it on his own, so I stopped mailing him altogether
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jul 26, 2010 9:30 AM GMT
    That never happened to me, but it sounds like a very immature/cowardly thing he did. Again we are only hearing your side and you said you were seeing him, maybe he was seeing other guys too and got more serious with them.

    Either way sorry for your pain, but another reason for safe sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you both wore condoms.icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 4:14 PM GMT
    When I was single and a guy disappeared on me I would be sad at first, then mad, then glad.

    Guys that do the disappearing act are not relationship material, are they? icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Jul 26, 2010 4:17 PM GMT
    I really need to go somewhere alone, like at a beach or somethin. I havent done anything this whole summer at all! The only problem is financial issues. I would love to stay somewhere for a week but I cant afford that, maybe one or two days. I always go to Ocean City in MD to get away, its not that far away from me but it gets pricey in the summer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 4:25 PM GMT
    For the guys this has happened to.......my thoughts and sympathies are with you.

    For the guys who have done this to someone: What is wrong with you? How much work can it be to do a "Dear John" letter here and now - in the days of e-mail? You don't even need a stamp or an envelope. You could even leave a voice mail. You don't even have to be bright. You can simply say something like the following:

    "I have been giving our friendship a lot of thought, and you're a great guy - but I am going through a few issues, and feel I need to just go it alone - be single from here on. Thanks for your friendship, I've enjoyed knowing you."

    Don't just leave people hanging.........let them have a bit of closure so they can move on and find someone worthy next time.

    icon_cool.gif