Why can't guys just say that they're not interested?

  • Tritimium

    Posts: 261

    Jul 25, 2010 10:45 PM GMT
    ....rather than ignoring you and leaving you wondering?

    I mean especially when you meet them in person. I'm less bothered about online.

    Lots of texts from him (with kisses) to begin with, then they fade out and then stop altogether. No calls, no answering of calls. All going swimmingly one minute, then nothing the next, with no explanation or warning.

    It really sucks. I'm feeling physically sick at the moment because of the lack of communication from a guy who, a couple of weeks ago, wanted me badly (and I wanted him).

    Clearly I don't feature in his thoughts anymore, but why can't he just say so? Grrrr!



  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 25, 2010 10:58 PM GMT
    You should copy, paste, and send your entire Opening Post, and send it to the guy.
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:21 AM GMT
    This type of response is a lot more common than you would expect. It's cowardly, inconsiderate behavior.
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:25 AM GMT
    Ignant!! Cut his face... You can borrow my chainsaw.
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    Tritimium said
    Clearly I don't feature in his thoughts anymore, but why can't he just say so? Grrrr!


    Dream on, that would require him to actually be a grown-up.

    I ran into that a couple of times myself in my single days. After a while I made a rule of calling someone again once and if I didn't hear back from him within 2 days, starting to get over him.

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 26, 2010 12:46 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidIgnant!! Cut his face... You can borrow my chainsaw.


    rude
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:52 AM GMT
    calibro said
    dancerjack saidIgnant!! Cut his face... You can borrow my chainsaw.


    rude


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M

    Sadly they took away embedding. =
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    calibro said
    dancerjack saidIgnant!! Cut his face... You can borrow my chainsaw.


    rude


    Do. Not. Get. Loud. With. Me.
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:54 AM GMT
    dancerjack said
    calibro said
    dancerjack saidIgnant!! Cut his face... You can borrow my chainsaw.


    rude


    Do. Not. Get. Loud. With. Me.


    You know, I met dancerjack once in real life, and he is just as delightfully crazy in the real world as he is on here. I love him
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 26, 2010 12:55 AM GMT
    dancerjack said
    calibro said
    dancerjack saidIgnant!! Cut his face... You can borrow my chainsaw.


    rude


    Do. Not. Get. Loud. With. Me.


    oh is dat what you been saying?
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:55 AM GMT
    Who knows? Perhaps he is feeling totally inadequate in the face of your stunning good looks, sexual magnetism, searing intellect and ready wit. Even then, he should man-up.
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:00 AM GMT


    I say the odds are on your side, simply because this is a window for you to see his true character before you receive a different blow that could be potentially more devastating. count your blessings
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:01 AM GMT
    It is terrible I agree..maybe another situation is going on that he might not be yet willing to share..however, if that is not the case...in a way is a positive finding if he is not willing to open up to you...can you imagine if you were in a relationship with him.
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:01 AM GMT
    calibro said
    dancerjack said
    calibro said
    dancerjack saidIgnant!! Cut his face... You can borrow my chainsaw.


    rude


    Do. Not. Get. Loud. With. Me.


    oh is dat what you been saying?



    Yes. That. Is. What. I. Had. Said.


    (and yes, I am definitely exactly who I am). Xoxo to thelstrat ;)
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:03 AM GMT
    male_brain.gif
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    Sounds typical...not like its that difficult to be upfront with someone, especially if you've already slept with them... Sorry to hear bud, hope it works out.
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:12 AM GMT
    It actually is pretty common and has happened to most of us,esp gay guys. I think they just don't want to burn bridges by saying he is not interested, but at the same time might have found someone they are more attracted to at the moment.
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    This must happen a lot. Its happened to me twice already or they want to meet you in person and then they don't show up.
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    "I'm not interested"... there, I said it.
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:21 AM GMT
    I totally agree.

    I had this happen recently — all seemed to be going well, we met in person and had a great time at dinner and talking, he said he'd talk to me soon when we parted ways, and he literally disappeared.

    The optimistic part of me likes to think "hey, at least I found out he's an ass now." But really, it still hurts.

    My philosophy is that, when you meet someone for the first time, there are going to be times you just don't feel it. And although I'm not perfect about it either, I really think honesty is the best policy, if anything to avoid dragging someone through the mud.
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:21 AM GMT
    Tritimium said.... then they fade out .
    ....going swimmingly one minute, then nothing the next,

    Ok, I'm confused.

    Do they fade away gradually or are they there one minute and then abruptly not there the next minute??? .... icon_confused.gif

    Maybe they are confused by your lack of clarity, too.

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    Jul 26, 2010 1:23 AM GMT
    rightasrain said"I'm not interested"... there, I said it.


    Hardly surprising, in view of the 5000 miles between you and him!
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:25 AM GMT
    photosrus saidmale_brain.gif

    This appears to be a straight guys brain since it mentions babies crying at night. ... What is the "crotch scanning area" for? ... Do straight guys scan women's crotches? ... For what? ... There aint anything there. ... Except maybe some camel toe. ... icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:27 AM GMT
    Mil8 said
    rightasrain said"I'm not interested"... there, I said it.


    Hardly surprising, in view of the 5000 miles between you and him!


    I'm just surprised it took 17 posts until someone said 'it'.
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:31 AM GMT
    Tritimium, one thing I promise that I'LL never say to you is "I'm not interested." icon_smile.gif