Conversations with a straight guy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2008 9:52 PM GMT
    . . whilst rewatching Brokeback Mountain on dvd

    ME:" So what do you think of it so far then?"
    PAUL:" Hmm . . how times have changed"
    ME:" Really? I dunno Paul, parts of the USA are still pretty homophobic I think"
    PAUL: " No, I meant the tents"
    Me: " What?"
    PAUL:" Well I wouldn't want to go camping with a tent like that"

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    Feb 13, 2008 9:59 PM GMT
    OMG that is funny what a stereotypical straight guy! Or is he just trying to run away from some of the less comfortable aspects of the story?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2008 10:09 PM GMT
    No I think he's just into considering the practical aspects of camping . . lol
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    Feb 13, 2008 10:32 PM GMT
    Here's another . . this time it's whilst watching gay porn with a straight female friend. She asked !

    ME: " Are you sure you want to watch this Lucy?"
    LUCY: " Yes, I'm interested"
    ME: " It's not going to make you feel uncomfortable?"
    LUCY " Nooo, don't be silly"

    About 10 mins later

    LUCY: " Actually, I'm not sure I like this. What is he doing now?"
    ME: " Well, he's rimming the other guy"
    LUCY: " Hmm . . OH MY GOD, TURN IT OFF!!"
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    Feb 13, 2008 11:10 PM GMT
    BENNY saidHere's another . . this time it's whilst watching gay porn with a straight female friend. She asked !

    ME: " Are you sure you want to watch this Lucy?"
    LUCY: " Yes, I'm interested"
    ME: " It's not going to make you feel uncomfortable?"
    LUCY " Nooo, don't be silly"

    About 10 mins later

    LUCY: " Actually, I'm not sure I like this. What is he doing now?"
    ME: " Well, he's rimming the other guy"
    LUCY: " Hmm . . OH MY GOD, TURN IT OFF!!"


    LOL.
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    Feb 14, 2008 1:15 AM GMT
    it's not just straight guys...I just got back from NY and whilst there I spent a considerable amount of time with the gays. One night at dinner the conversation went something like this:

    Paul: So have you been watching runway?

    Mike: God yes, did you see last week?

    Tomas: No! Shut UP I have it TiVo'd

    Paul: ok, well I won't give it away, but let me tell you, I went to the thing during fashion week and there were five...FIVE of them there!

    Mike: No WAY! FIVE? that doesn't make sense.

    Paul: and then we went to this party this weekend and Remi (not sure if thats the name) was there.

    Tomas: OH MY GOD! what did he say?

    Paul: Well, he obviously couldn't say anything,but I hope he wins.

    Mike: me too

    Tomas: ya, me too

    They look at me.

    Me: What is runway? is that the show about southwest airlines?

    Paul: Oh my god....Check please!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2008 1:26 AM GMT
    icon_lol.gif...Tommy....even I...oldoldold man that I am ...know about Project Runway
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Feb 14, 2008 1:29 AM GMT
    And at a bar, chatting a guy up:

    ME: Well, it's Day Light Savings, we get another hour to drink...

    HIM: What's that? I don't observe holidays
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2008 1:38 AM GMT
    Benny...those are just too funny!! Thanks for sharing them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2008 1:56 AM GMT
    oh yea ... very funny ... ha ha ha ...

    straight guys are just too boring ...

    i rest my case ... lol ... icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2008 3:13 AM GMT
    People say the funniest things.
  • Paradigm_Shif...

    Posts: 251

    Feb 14, 2008 3:22 AM GMT
    too funny. I needed a good laugh tonight..

    BENNY, So you watch Brokeback Mountain and gay porn with your straight friends...?

    They must be pretty ehhh....... accepting..... lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2008 3:52 AM GMT
    "I didn't major in math, I majored in miracles"

    -Huckabee

    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2008 10:05 AM GMT
    Him: Not here, mate!

    icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2008 10:41 AM GMT
    Lifted from the irc chatroom, a straight friend:

    (He just broke up with a girl, who was a first class beatch)
    HIM: why am i so happy :/
    ME: icon_sad.gif
    HIM: dude i am happy cus i got rid of that female
    ME: you got a new girlfriend giving u a blowjob?
    ME: icon_sad.gif
    HIM: icon_biggrin.gif
    ME: LMAO
    HIM: icon_biggrin.gif
    ME: it finally hit u?
    HIM: icon_biggrin.gif <- this smiley is so pathetic
    ME: just imagine....
    ME: if you had persisted
    HIM: o no
    HIM: nooo
    ME: you fell madly in love, see her every 3 months and then marry her...
    ME: what would your life be like? icon_razz.gif
    ME: after 3 years she runs away
    ME: with the younger austrian dude
    HIM: thank god, men have brains
    HIM: :p
    ME: :S
    ME: women don't?
    HIM: unforunately not
    ME: lol, u sound like
    *mutual gay friend who's a misogynist*! ^^
    HIM: just pussy and boobs
    ME: of course they do icon_razz.gif
    ME: find one that has
    HIM: they are like plastic glasses


    A month later:

    HIM: heya
    HIM: lol guess what
    ME: wot?
    ME: a girl molested you as you rode the bus?
    HIM: icon_biggrin.gif
    ME: :O
    HIM: did they tech u in highschool to read minds too icon_biggrin.gif ?

    They never learn. LOL
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Feb 14, 2008 1:13 PM GMT
    Hmm...that reminds me. I need a new tent.
    I bought one last year and a 75% off sale and do love and adore the lil thing, but i don't like having to pound in tent pegs, and would prefer one that pop's up. Hmm...time to start researchin'.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Feb 14, 2008 1:50 PM GMT
    Come on guys, stop making fun of such a fine movie. The lead actor just past aways last month.
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Feb 14, 2008 2:34 PM GMT
    See, I'm gay, and one of my first thoughts watching that movie was also, "Holy crap that tent would suck to carry, and if the wind shifted? ARGH! Would be nice to 'backpack' with a horse though..."

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    Feb 14, 2008 3:17 PM GMT
    Considering it was only about 25 years ago that straights were screaming in the theatres when two men kissed in movie like Making Love, we've come a longer way than the tents if the straight guy wasn't put off by the film's subject and content.

    One of the conversations that I've had with a straight man involved an argument about the nature of their relationship. My friend argued me that they weren't in love but were just out in the wilderness and sort of having "prison sex," and that they went on to marry women, therefore they couldn't be gay! icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2008 3:52 PM GMT
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    That's SO funny!! Gotta LOVE the simplicity!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2008 10:13 PM GMT
    I'm not making fun of Brokeback, besides, Heath seemed like a good humoured man, I'm not sure he would have wanted to be remembered quite so reverentially.