I am an extremely confused possibly straight, gay, or bisexual man

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 25, 2010 11:18 PM GMT
    I have been confused my entire sexual life. I honestly don't know whether I am straight, gay, or bisexual. There are days when I get turned on by women, other days it is men, and sometimes it's both! I am just a little worried now because a couple days ago I initiated sex with my girlfriend for the first time and I could not for the life of me (please excuse the candor) get hard. This was an exceptionally emberessing situation for me because I figure that this might have proven that I am just gay, and how awkward for her, ya know? I mean she attempted to give me a blow-job, I fingered her, we made out and absolutely nothing happened. Now latlely I have been having trouble getting arroused at all. I can look at straight, and gay porn and nothing happens. I feel nothing, numb even. I can rub myself and get a boner, but this takes a long time and it usually doesn't last long at all. I want desperatly to just be a normal straight man. What do you make of this situation? Am I gay or what?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 25, 2010 11:45 PM GMT
    let me go through some of your posts comments...

    1. find out what you like sexually.
    i don't ever get a boner, well rarely, whenever my partner inserts his dick inside of me, but i do when he touches me slowly and kisses my body.

    2. you're young. try and work through all of your feelings. you'll figure it out.

    3. relax. i'm not sure what you're expecting right now, but you may not be sexually active because you have a low sex drive, it's not a bad thing. take it one step at a time. is all i can say.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 25, 2010 11:53 PM GMT
    You're bi.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    I don't know if you're gay, but you definitely sound like a troll
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 26, 2010 12:48 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidI don't know if you're gay, but you definitely sound like a troll


    i'z gonna have ur babies
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 12:50 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidI don't know if you're gay, but you definitely sound like a troll

    lol a troll, huh? A couple years ago I never had this problem. I got boners all the time. I don't understand how now, at the age of 20, I am suddenly not arroused by a damn thing. What a troll I have become...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 12:52 AM GMT
    Maybe you can talk with a counselor about it. If you're a college student, you can go to your school's office for free
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 26, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    livewithit said
    dancerjack saidI don't know if you're gay, but you definitely sound like a troll

    lol a troll, huh? A couple years ago I never had this problem. I got boners all the time. I don't understand how now, at the age of 20, I am suddenly not arroused by a damn thing. What a troll I have become...


    no, he means you sound like you're a guy with nothing better to do with his life than make up fake profiles on this site and start ridiculous threads in an attempt to get someone to pay attention to you. i'm in agreement.
  • phunkie

    Posts: 325

    Jul 26, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    This man has your answer.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 1:00 AM GMT
    livewithit said
    dancerjack saidI don't know if you're gay, but you definitely sound like a troll

    lol a troll, huh? A couple years ago I never had this problem. I got boners all the time. I don't understand how now, at the age of 20, I am suddenly not arroused by a damn thing. What a troll I have become...


    In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response[1] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[2] In addition to the offending poster, the noun “troll” can also refer to the provocative message itself, as in that was an excellent troll you posted. While the term "troll" and its associated action, trolling, are primarily associated with Internet discourse, media attention in recent years has made such labels highly subjective, with 'trolling' being used to describe intentionally provocative actions outside of an online context.

    Why don't you just avoid trying to define 'what' you are.... Whatever 'gets you hard' is OK as long as you're not hurting anyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    lack of libidio can be a sign of physical illness or depression. See you Doctor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    I say, relax. Does it really matter if you are straight, gay, or bi?

    One day at a time.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jul 26, 2010 1:24 AM GMT
    Gay and Straight guys have it easy. We're at both ends of the sexuality continuum. Who knows how to spell that? Certainly not me. It's a big word that means everyone else in between has undefined borders. Those borders change from day to day. I have a st8 friend who loves to suck me off, and then he goes home and doesn't think about cock for a few months. You don't need to live your life by definitions or labels. Just go with what you feel right now, one day at a time, and by the time you are ready to retire you'll have tons of stories to write in your memoires.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Jul 26, 2010 1:46 AM GMT
    Barrie, your spelling is perfect.

    As for the original question, try nervous. Carrying that much baggage around makes things difficult. Don't worry about which label, if any, you should have. Just try to feel and act on it. Relax? Yes, RELAX!! It is really difficult.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 1:54 AM GMT
    Try eating 3 half boiled eggs/day. You'll get so hard so quickly that it'll be embarrassing. It's just sign of physical exhaustion. I always have eggs with milk after sex or masturbation to recharge my energy. Hope it helps! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 1:58 AM GMT
    Why do you think that being straight is "normal" and something you're trying to be? My advice would be to get over that issue first.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 2:01 AM GMT
    Might get your testosterone levels checked for the libido. It takes more than porn to figure out your sexuality though. I thought I was bi for a long time since I could get aroused and perform for women, but it has more to do with who you can fall for. The person you're motivated to be around, the person you miss when they're gone, is that a man or a woman?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 2:03 AM GMT
    frenchatheart saidTry eating 3 half boiled eggs/day. You'll get so hard so quickly that it'll be embarrassing. It's just sign of physical exhaustion. I always have eggs with milk after sex or masturbation to recharge my energy. Hope it helps! icon_cool.gif
    Wanna come over for breakfast? icon_wink.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 26, 2010 2:05 AM GMT
    Don't put any labels on it
    You said it yourself ... sometimes you're attracted to men sometimes women and sometimes both
    If you fret about it it WILL affect your performance hence erection problems
    Just enjoy what you enjoy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 5:58 AM GMT
    Cavebear saidlack of libidio can be a sign of physical illness or depression. See you Doctor.


    This here, the above-mentioned, that!!
  • TR_Latitude10

    Posts: 206

    Jul 26, 2010 6:07 AM GMT
    I don't subscribe to the theory that "all men think about sex all the time"...I think it ebbs and flows regardless of age, mental status, hormone levels, etc.

    Enjoy the variations in straight/bi/gay that you're able to experience/imagine. Everyone has performance degradations at some point.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 6:14 AM GMT
    Sweetie, you're a f@g with a girlfriend and a temperamental penis, get over it!

    Why the HELL are all these 'fake profiles' creating forum threads, and why the HELL are everyone flocking to them? Let me guess as to what is going to happen next... you are going to delete this profile, create another one and respond to it???

    UGH, anyway, do you need to label what you are, sexually?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 26, 2010 10:25 AM GMT
    calibro said
    livewithit said
    dancerjack saidI don't know if you're gay, but you definitely sound like a troll

    lol a troll, huh? A couple years ago I never had this problem. I got boners all the time. I don't understand how now, at the age of 20, I am suddenly not arroused by a damn thing. What a troll I have become...


    no, he means you sound like you're a guy with nothing better to do with his life than make up fake profiles on this site and start ridiculous threads in an attempt to get someone to pay attention to you. i'm in agreement.


    oh I'm not trying to do that. I'm sorry that I sound as if I am. I just feel like I can be more open and honest with complete strangers then I can with people I know. I guess that I sound a little strange but can you imagine having a conversation like this with a physical person? I have considered going to a doctor but thought it best to try to help myself before I actually let my doctor know all of this...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2010 1:58 AM GMT
    Doctor's can be really disappointing when looking for advice. Unless you get a really good one, they like either concrete questions or concrete symptoms. I've had my T-levels checked during a blood test and it put me at the low end of normal. Explained a lot of my lack of libido among other things. I recommend you just ask for general blood work and be sure they include testosteron.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2010 2:18 AM GMT
    livewithit said
    calibro said
    livewithit said
    dancerjack saidI don't know if you're gay, but you definitely sound like a troll

    lol a troll, huh? A couple years ago I never had this problem. I got boners all the time. I don't understand how now, at the age of 20, I am suddenly not arroused by a damn thing. What a troll I have become...


    no, he means you sound like you're a guy with nothing better to do with his life than make up fake profiles on this site and start ridiculous threads in an attempt to get someone to pay attention to you. i'm in agreement.


    oh I'm not trying to do that. I'm sorry that I sound as if I am. I just feel like I can be more open and honest with complete strangers then I can with people I know. I guess that I sound a little strange but can you imagine having a conversation like this with a physical person? I have considered going to a doctor but thought it best to try to help myself before I actually let my doctor know all of this...


    I actually can and have had this conversation with a person face to face. Maybe I'm lucky, but I have at least two true friends that I have had the most personal conversations with. They are confidants and we have helped each other through some many difficult times. I suggest finding that person in your life. For what it's worth though, sounds like your on the road to coming out, so relax and explore your feelings and stop judging yourself or anyone else. Open up to someone.