I think I might be gay

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    Jul 26, 2010 1:36 AM GMT
    Ok so this is my situation, I am interested in everyone's thoughts:

    I am having a real tough time deciding on my sexuality. I have always thought I was straight and have hooked up with only girls. A while back I was watching porn (straight) on the internet and a popup came up with two guys having sex, and I was really turned on by it. Before this I have been turned on by seeing pictures of shirtless guys on the internet, but I attributed this mostly to me being jealous of their bodies and wanting to look like them myself, and I have never been turned on by guys that I see in person. Now I am not sure.

    I have never had a girlfriend, and I tell myself it is because I have not met the right girl yet. Is this just me making up excuses? Has anyone else been in a similar position? I am still a virgin and think I should at least try out having sex with a girl. I guess I should try having gay sex too, but how do I go about finding someone to hookup discreetly, but not in a sketchy way?

    Thanks

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    Jul 26, 2010 2:06 AM GMT
    Try craiglist! (But I woudn't recommend it)
    Go to Apex Club in dupont, it's a nice gay experience and there are alot of college guys around your age. Maybe you'll pick up some one.
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    Jul 26, 2010 5:24 AM GMT
    cbn123 saidI think I might be gay

    cbn123 said... I was watching porn (straight) on the internet and a popup came up with two guys having sex, and I was really turned on by it.
    I think you might be gay too.
  • HOTWEILLER

    Posts: 347

    Jul 26, 2010 5:40 AM GMT
    Guy, you`re 22 years old and never had a girlfriend... Strange no?

    Anyway this answer will come only from you... Seems like you are Bi, but you will only know when you have both experiences.

    Anyway again...Look for your happiness no matter if it is with woman or man.

  • Jul 26, 2010 5:56 AM GMT
    How can you hook up with girls and be a virgin?
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    Jul 26, 2010 9:48 AM GMT
    PabstBlueRibbon saidHow can you hook up with girls and be a virgin?


    I don't know, I just don't. I've had oral sex and hand jobs but never sex. I am waiting for the right person for my first time. Anyways, thanks for the replies. It feels good to talk about this with other people.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Jul 26, 2010 10:38 AM GMT
    you're gay icon_biggrin.gif Welcome
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    Jul 26, 2010 10:40 AM GMT
    Space_Cowboy_89 saidyou're gay icon_biggrin.gif Welcome

    ROFL

    Uhm, but yeah I agree with wrestling... find what makes you happy, that is all icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:37 PM GMT
    hey, new guy. i had a similar situation. i was hooking up with girls even though at the age of 16 i knew i might be gay. at 17 i had sex with a girl and the next day i was feeling weird. i didn't like it very much. i said maybe that's how it is at the beginning and fooled myself for a year that i am at least bi, so i wont have any problems.
    when i was 18 i said that's enough so i found a guy. i had sex with him and it was great. i wanted more.
    it was hard at the beginning to accept but i got used to it.
    i say don't waste too much time and go for it. if you are turned on when you see naked guys you are at least bi.

    just go out boy, be gay, it could be fun. you get much more sex than a straight guy

    and after you do that, come back, update your profile, upload some photos to see what a gorgeous guy tha straight world lost again icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:46 PM GMT
    Hey Man,

    I echo Buck You's comments...

    been there done that....when I met a guy....WOW...so this is sex....

    figure out and you'll find your way. its difficult not knowing, but you'll find you way.
    Hugs...

    MLP
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    Jul 26, 2010 12:47 PM GMT
    I think for a lot of guys it starts out being aroused by pictures of hot guys and 'wanting to look like them"...then that morphs into wanting to be with them.

    It took me years to put it together in my mind. I think it's different for different people and everyone has their own path to follow.

    For me, I like sex. Men just do it better. A lot better.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 26, 2010 12:57 PM GMT
    I would just take some time and explore.. don't get caught up into trying to define yourself as "gay" or "straight". Just spend some quality time with both sexes over the next year, then I think it will be clear.
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:18 PM GMT
    The question a sex therapists ask is, "what comes to mind when you masturbate?" if it is a male body part or a male...welcome to our fraternity!!!

    3065866437_a9c465667a.jpg
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    Jul 26, 2010 1:20 PM GMT
    No easy answer to this question!

    You could be gay, straight, bi... you have to go with what feels right for you. I was like you, in many ways. I came out to people later, at 22ish... I had never been with a girl or had a GF. I started coming out though, before I even hooked up with a guy. For me it was about letting myself admit that I really liked guys. I had never hooked up with a guy, so it was hard to "know." But eventually I went out on a few dates with someone and we hooked up (just made out and whatever). That's when it all came together... it felt right. Emotionally, physically.

    After that, I was able to let go of my conflict. Remember that no matter what you find.... you will be okay. People make it work, in life. So will you.






    and PS, dont go to Apex. Go to Town, Nellies or Cobalt. icon_smile.gif PM me if you wanna chat... i live here in DC.

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    Jul 26, 2010 1:28 PM GMT
    frenchatheart said[...] Go to [...] Club in dupont, it's a nice gay experience and there are alot of college guys around your age. Maybe you'll pick up some one.


    Be yourself, be relaxed, observe, and enjoy the experience. If you're picked up - go for it!
    That'll give you a better understanding of what you are.
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    Jul 26, 2010 2:05 PM GMT
    Don't go to Town, it's so ghetto
    Nellies is a bit snobbish, not to mention in the ghetto area too
    Cobalt is boring, playing techno all the time.
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    Jul 26, 2010 2:08 PM GMT
    moscowmikey saidI think for a lot of guys it starts out being aroused by pictures of hot guys and 'wanting to look like them"...then that morphs into wanting to be with them.

    It took me years to put it together in my mind. I think it's different for different people and everyone has their own path to follow.

    For me, I like sex. Men just do it better. A lot better.


    Agreed. Men do do it a lot better. Way fewer hang ups than women. I speak from personal experience, as I'm sure you do.
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    Jul 26, 2010 2:11 PM GMT
    Yo...

    I had a very similar situation when I was in high school but I did have girlfriends in a sexual relationship. I was a skinny kid and was always jealous of other guy's who were already putting muscle on. I don't think I ever really looked at them in a sexual way. It wasn't until I was 24 that I experimented with guy's. At one time I was Bi, then I came to terms that I'm gay. I think you have to find for your self what your heart really want's, just don't fight what your heart tells you or you will be fighting an up hill battle of emotional distress. Don't listen to anyone except your self. Gay, Bi, Str8... what ever it may be, just be happy!
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    Jul 26, 2010 2:13 PM GMT
    ZbmwM5 saidNo easy answer to this question!

    You could be gay, straight, bi... you have to go with what feels right for you. I was like you, in many ways. I came out to people later, at 22ish... I had never been with a girl or had a GF. I started coming out though, before I even hooked up with a guy. For me it was about letting myself admit that I really liked guys. I had never hooked up with a guy, so it was hard to "know." But eventually I went out on a few dates with someone and we hooked up (just made out and whatever). That's when it all came together... it felt right. Emotionally, physically.

    After that, I was able to let go of my conflict. Remember that no matter what you find.... you will be okay. People make it work, in life. So will you.






    and PS, dont go to Apex. Go to Town, Nellies or Cobalt. icon_smile.gif PM me if you wanna chat... i live here in DC.



    I agree with this too!
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    Jul 26, 2010 2:34 PM GMT
    EverydayJack said[...] you have to find for your self what your heart really want's, just don't fight what your heart tells you or you will be fighting an up hill battle of emotional distress. Don't listen to anyone except your self. Gay, Bi, Str8... what ever it may be, just be happy!


    100% agreement.

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    Jul 26, 2010 2:39 PM GMT
    I see you live in DC. Living here myself, I can tell you that it has a great amount of resources in the form of venues, community centers, sports leagues, and other groups that you can participate in and meet people that you can get to know who might help you figure things out.
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    Jul 26, 2010 2:58 PM GMT
    looking for labels is what confuses you, just do what you feel without putting names on things it will make your life easier.
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    Jul 26, 2010 3:02 PM GMT
    i know gay guys who like the watch lezzie porn, and some straight porn.

    some straight girls like to watch gay porn.. . you might like watching guys have sex, but it doesnt necessarily mean you like having sex with a guy.
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    Jul 26, 2010 3:18 PM GMT
    I agree with HndsmKansan. Don't worry about how to label yourself, just be true to your feelings.

    Meeting guys is no different than meeting girls, you need to find outlets that agree with your lifestyle. You can get information for various clubs, bars, social groups and sports teams at your local gay community center.

    Whatever you do, be patient and be careful.

    Good luck to you!

    HndsmKansan saidI would just take some time and explore.. don't get caught up into trying to define yourself as "gay" or "straight". Just spend some quality time with both sexes over the next year, then I think it will be clear.
  • swimjohn

    Posts: 252

    Jul 26, 2010 3:24 PM GMT
    cbn123 saidOk so this is my situation, I am interested in everyone's thoughts:

    I am having a real tough time deciding on my sexuality. I have always thought I was straight and have hooked up with only girls. A while back I was watching porn (straight) on the internet and a popup came up with two guys having sex, and I was really turned on by it. Before this I have been turned on by seeing pictures of shirtless guys on the internet, but I attributed this mostly to me being jealous of their bodies and wanting to look like them myself, and I have never been turned on by guys that I see in person. Now I am not sure.

    I have never had a girlfriend, and I tell myself it is because I have not met the right girl yet. Is this just me making up excuses? Has anyone else been in a similar position? I am still a virgin and think I should at least try out having sex with a girl. I guess I should try having gay sex too, but how do I go about finding someone to hookup discreetly, but not in a sketchy way?

    Thanks




    Yeah you sound EXACTLY like me. I convinced myself I only liked seeing naked guys because i was jealous of them and wanted to look like them, that I was just bi and had to try both women and men to figure it out. Then it all changed when I first tired it with a guy and knew that I had no desire to try women. So I don't suggest going and finding some random guy, but maybe fully join the site, upload pics here and what not, get to know some guys near you and then try it if you feel comfortable. There are tons of dating/sex sites online, RJ is just one of them (the best in my opinion) but there are many more options less sketchy than craigslist in my opinion.