The "Politeness Etiquette"....

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 27, 2010 3:40 PM GMT
    I wanted to share with you guys an experience I had last weekend that again had to do with "polite behavior" and how rudeness can rear its ugly head. I know I've talked about polite behavior in the past and your views on such things as "holding the door open for someone" or "getting over to the left hand lane on the interstate when one is coming on in the right lane".

    This one just made me chuckle...

    I was at a local nursery getting a gift certificate for my neighborhood HOA (which I'm a board member) for a landscape award we were doing on Saturday. I was waiting in line along with another lady (who was behind me) when we noticed an older gentleman stuggling to get in the glass door a few feet away with several bags of mulch. A second woman had been meandering around and during the 20 seconds we were helping the gentleman, she ran up and expected to be waited on. When we returned,
    I expected my transaction to be completed. The 2nd woman made the remark, "I'm here now". and stepped in front of both me and the woman who was behind me.

    The lady behind the counter explained a transaction was in progress when the lady behind me piped up and told the rude woman "we were here and you belong behind us". I just started laughing. Interesting the things people do to take quick advantage of the situation.

    So the question is... how do you react when somebody is deliberately rude...
    Do you speak up and tell them so, or just say nothing?




  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 27, 2010 3:47 PM GMT
    The rude person might have problems of her own, so going in buns blazing might not be the wise choice. Instead, I would have posed her a question to try and make her consider what she had done e.g. "do you consider it wrong to help someone in need?" Then, leave it at that.
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    Jul 27, 2010 3:48 PM GMT
    Stample saidThe rude person might have problems of her own, so going in buns blazing might not be the wise choice. Instead, I would have posed her a question to try and make her consider what she had done e.g. "do you consider it wrong to help someone in need?" Then, leave it at that.


    I said "buns" but I meant "guns". Actually, buns works if you're in a bakery icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 27, 2010 4:39 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidSo the question is... how do you react when somebody is deliberately rude...
    Do you speak up and tell them so, or just say nothing?
    I would raise my voice to the cashier for promoting the rudeness by allowing the person to take advantage of me while I help someone in need...then I'd have the cashier call over the manager and explain what happened.
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    Jul 27, 2010 7:04 PM GMT
    Problem is, if you speak up and they ignore you, what can you do? There's no law against line-cutting. Other than physically toss them to the back of the line, there's not much you can do. The onus then shifts to the person behind the counter. And often times, they cave in and serve the rude customer anyways.
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    Jul 27, 2010 8:11 PM GMT
    xrichx saidProblem is, if you speak up and they ignore you, what can you do? There's no law against line-cutting. Other than physically toss them to the back of the line, there's not much you can do. The onus then shifts to the person behind the counter. And often times, they cave in and serve the rude customer anyways.

    in this case, just start shouting "manager!"
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    Jul 27, 2010 8:14 PM GMT
    I donĀ“t put up with crap. In a very nice way i tell them to BACK THE FUCK OFF AND FUCK THEMSELVES WITH A SHARP STICK.

    They hardly realise I was nasty.
  • Daniepwils

    Posts: 151

    Jul 27, 2010 8:25 PM GMT
    I would move myself in front of her, or to the side of her right at the counter. I have done this very thing one time when a pushy woman who acted like she didn't speak English cut in line. I walked right up in front of her and handed my items to the cashier and said I was here first.

    Sometimes you have to bark back at a bully...

    I have also done this to an older woman who thought she shouldn't have to wait in line because she was older. I informed her that there was a line, when she didn't acknowledge me I yelled calmly (pretending maybe she had a hearing problem, when we knew full well she didn't) "Miss there is a line and you cut in front of these three people behind you". She was so startled, she looked at the cashier who just couldn't help but laugh. Needless to say she left very embarrassed and walked out.

    I refuse to let people take advantage of me.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 27, 2010 8:45 PM GMT
    Well it can be a little hard to visualize what happened based on a paragraph.
    The glass door was about 8 or 10 feet away and we stepped over to help the gentleman. The cashier had my gift certificate on the register when the man needed help. We were gone for 20 seconds when the rude woman informed us she "was here now".

    If the other lady who was right behind me hadn't said something I would have. I would have said, "there are rude people anywhere anymore"
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Jul 27, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    I would have said, "I was here before now."
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 27, 2010 11:01 PM GMT
    That's when the Fangs come out icon_cool.gif

    You wanna play rude?
    That gives me license to bury your ass

    I remember two young girls were behind me and my then boyfriend on a line at the Mykonos airport
    The line was long and they were slowly inching their way past us
    They were 20 somethings American of course and they thought they would get by us because of their looks .... model wannabe's
    ...... so me in my loudest voice .... I said Rob, Do you Remember those two tired old skanks who tried to step ahead of us online at Kennedy airport? And how they thought that they were all that and that everyone really only felt so sorry for them because they looked like they hadn't eaten ............
    Then I looked one of them right in the eye
    ............ in a week
    They didn't budge after that icon_cool.gif
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Jul 28, 2010 1:07 AM GMT
    Depends on the situation, sometimes utter silence speaks volumes...icon_idea.gif
    I was once told off good on the subway because i dared assist a tourist , i couldnt believe this ameba actually stood up to fight me[as big as i am], so i just let it go and didnt respond because i would have beat the fuck outta that SOB but realised i could get arrested...
    If he went to jail---his life would be grand, hangin out with his homies, eatin 3square meals a day, t.v., lifting weights , ect...resort living[for him and his buddies].........
    I'd have so much more to loose, one has to choose ones battles wisely..icon_exclaim.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 28, 2010 1:27 AM GMT
    Technically, when you step out of line and walk away, you have lost your place in line, since you could be gone for a few seconds, minutes, or forever.

    However, common decency dictates that, if the person saw that you and another person stepped out of line to assist an older gentleman who was trying to get through the doorway, that person certainly should have graciously allowed you to reclaim your place in line.

    Since they apparently didn't allow this, karma will most likely bite them in the ass.




  • 2theTEE

    Posts: 637

    Jul 28, 2010 1:30 AM GMT
    Caslon15000 said
    xrichx saidProblem is, if you speak up and they ignore you, what can you do? There's no law against line-cutting. Other than physically toss them to the back of the line, there's not much you can do. The onus then shifts to the person behind the counter. And often times, they cave in and serve the rude customer anyways.

    in this case, just start shouting "manager!"


    Shouting "RAAAPE!" would be more effective. She would've left the store ashamed and confused, wondering what a whore she is and will never cut in line, ever again. I promise.
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    Jul 28, 2010 1:33 AM GMT
    Daniepwils said...

    Sometimes you have to bark back at a bully...
    ...
    I refuse to let people take advantage of me.


    Props to you D!

    When confronted, bullies are revealed for who they are; small, fearful cowards that lack backbone or character.

    The light of truth burns bright and clean, and is the best disinfectant for scum.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 28, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    I speak up and tell them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 28, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]Webster666 said[/cite]Technically, when you step out of line and walk away, you have lost your place in line, since you could be gone for a few seconds, minutes, or forever.

    However, common decency dictates that, if the person saw that you and another person stepped out of line to assist an older gentleman who was trying to get through the doorway, that person certainly should have graciously allowed you to reclaim your place in line.

    Since they apparently didn't allow this, karma will most likely bite them in the ass.

    Wellll...sorta, did she clearly see that you had stepped out of line to help the guy? Unless there was an unusual circumstance, I wouldn't likely have given enough of a shit to make more than a snarky comment "guess SOMEONE'S in a hurry".

    My rudeness story:

    One time I was lifting at a gym in the afternoon, it was fairly empty. I was using a rack with a curl bar for biceps and another dude was doing bench presses. We were the only ones in the area and he asked me for a spot. My weights were on the bar and I placed my towel over the pad.

    As I finished spotting the guy, the big 6'5" monster mothereffer (he was actually pretty damned hot) walked up and grabbed my bar off the bench. When I said I was using that he told me "there are more bars over there" thinking I would back down. I said "yeah, and YOU can use one of them"... He just looked at me and put the bar back. What a fuckwad.