Straight guy asking to be his CIVIL PARTNER (BF)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 28, 2010 5:54 PM GMT
    I have a straight guy in my office.We are close friends.But some times..he tells like "Come ..We will marry", "Let's do LIVE TOGETHER" , sometimes tells friends that "He is my civil partner or I am his civil partner" ... I am still in closet.This hurts me a lot..I like the guy very much and i am attracted to him.What will you do in my scenario or your advise to me..I don't want to spoil a GOOD Friendship .... icon_confused.gif
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    Jul 28, 2010 6:42 PM GMT
    Sounds like he's in the closet as well.
    Stop being a coward and just be yourself. Who knows, he may be the Mr. Right that you've always wanted. icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 28, 2010 9:38 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSounds like he's in the closet as well.
    Stop being a coward and just be yourself. Who knows, he may be the Mr. Right that you've always wanted. icon_wink.gif



    He's not a coward.
  • jslifting

    Posts: 114

    Jul 28, 2010 9:45 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSounds like he's in the closet as well.
    Stop being a coward and just be yourself. Who knows, he may be the Mr. Right that you've always wanted. icon_wink.gif


    Just because he is not out does not mean he is a coward. Something we need to realize, we all come from different backgrounds and cultures. It's not as easy and understanding for some people to be out, compared to others. If you don't understand someones situation, don't make judgments.

    As far as the discussion of topic goes. I would play right along with him, see what he does, or says. You never know, he may be into you as well and might be just as afraid to tell you as you are to tell him. Grab his arm when he says something like that and say, "We're lovers" or something to that effect. lol

    It might open up some doors to discussion.
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    Jul 28, 2010 9:58 PM GMT
    Could just b a straight guy making friendly gay jokes, I ve heard them before, just make them back
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    Jul 28, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    BlackLabSD said
    paulflexes saidSounds like he's in the closet as well.
    Stop being a coward and just be yourself. Who knows, he may be the Mr. Right that you've always wanted. icon_wink.gif



    He's not a coward.


    why not?
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    Jul 28, 2010 10:24 PM GMT
    I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.
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    Jul 28, 2010 11:06 PM GMT


    How good is your friendship if you can't communicate how uneasy you are when he makes reference to your sexuality? Tell Him!

    [url][/url]
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    Jul 28, 2010 11:52 PM GMT
    RUMEL said
    BlackLabSD said
    paulflexes saidSounds like he's in the closet as well.
    Stop being a coward and just be yourself. Who knows, he may be the Mr. Right that you've always wanted. icon_wink.gif



    He's not a coward.


    why not?


    Because not all men who are attracted to other men feel the need to wear the armor of fagdom. Defining yourself by your sexuality is not more noble than keeping it private. Professionals keep their career and personal life independent. (unless of course they are gay porn actors icon_smile.gif )
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    Jul 28, 2010 11:54 PM GMT
    BlackLabSD said
    paulflexes saidSounds like he's in the closet as well.
    Stop being a coward and just be yourself. Who knows, he may be the Mr. Right that you've always wanted. icon_wink.gif



    He's not a coward.
    His coworker is being down right obvious that he wants a relationship.
    The OP has made it obvious here that he would also like to pursue that, but he's afraid to.
    Yes, he is being a coward by not taking the opportunity that has been placed in front of him.
    I understand he may be in a rather anti-gay area, but it can't be too anti-gay or his coworker would have already been chastised (or worse) for telling others they are "civil partners."

    adhi234: Your coworker has opened the closet door for you. All you have to do is walk out. And no I'm not saying it's easy, but it's refreshing once you do it. All the weight you've been carrying all your life lifts. You learn who was really your friend, and you'll learn who only liked you because they thought you were straight. Sure you lose some "friends" (and maybe even some family) but they would have never liked you to begin with if they'd known you are gay when you met. It's a truly enlightening experience.

    Now go grab that dude before he slips away. Otherwise I might snatch him up if he's really hot...but I'll share. icon_twisted.gif
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    Jul 29, 2010 1:27 AM GMT
    RST2009 saidBecause not all men who are attracted to other men feel the need to wear the armor of fagdom. Defining yourself by your sexuality is not more noble than keeping it private. Professionals keep their career and personal life independent. (unless of course they are gay porn actors icon_smile.gif )
    Professionals go to tittie bars together.
    It is 100% impossible to keep your sexuality away from work. You can lie about it and pretend you're straight, or you can be the bigger man and say no to the titite bar because it doesn't interest you. Either way, your sexuality WILL be assumed by coworkers. It's naive to think professionalism has no human factors.
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    Jul 29, 2010 1:30 AM GMT
    he could be sending you signals that he likes you and that he wants to be with you
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    Jul 29, 2010 1:39 AM GMT
    You can get civil partnerships in India??
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jul 29, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    OP, I agree with a few of the others who posted. I think you should play along with him. If he is single ask him out for a beer and see what happens then. That way you don't really have to disclose your feelings to him. do a happy hour with him
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jul 29, 2010 2:05 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    RST2009 saidBecause not all men who are attracted to other men feel the need to wear the armor of fagdom. Defining yourself by your sexuality is not more noble than keeping it private. Professionals keep their career and personal life independent. (unless of course they are gay porn actors icon_smile.gif )
    Professionals go to tittie bars together.
    It is 100% impossible to keep your sexuality away from work. You can lie about it and pretend you're straight, or you can be the bigger man and say no to the titite bar because it doesn't interest you. Either way, your sexuality WILL be assumed by coworkers. It's naive to think professionalism has no human factors.



    Actually, it is possible to keep your sexuality a secret at your place. Unlike most some of us don't hangout with our coworkers and some actually keep their personal private at work. Its funny there are my straight guys who do this and you never hear anyone making comments about him other than he or she never hangouts with anyone at work. They do there job and go home or go and hangout with their friends.