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    Jul 28, 2010 6:59 PM GMT
    iv
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    Jul 28, 2010 9:21 PM GMT
    CrushCrushCrush saidGive me an example of moving too fast
    I got a ticket a couple years ago for driving 103 in a 65.
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    Jul 29, 2010 12:28 AM GMT
    He is blowing you on your first date under the table . And you have yet to get the main dish at diner . icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 29, 2010 12:37 AM GMT
    TRACKBOY111 said He is blowing you on your first date under the table . And you have yet to get the main dish at diner . icon_biggrin.gif


    Hmmm, not if you've known each other for a while, an this is your first official "date" ;)
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    Jul 29, 2010 2:01 AM GMT
    TRACKBOY111 said He is blowing you on your first date under the table . And you have yet to get the main dish at diner . icon_biggrin.gif
    You didn't get blown at the bar before you left?
    Damn dude, you're way too slow.
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    Jul 29, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    You don't even know his name and you already had sex with him... twice.
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    Jul 29, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    CrushCrushCrush saidheeyyy

    Gimme an example of one time you moved too fast w/ somebody you 'really deeply' was in love with, and you had wished to show yourself better to him if you hadn't moved so fast.

    Did you learn something unpredictable from it? Would you change how open you we're early on?


    "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Alan. Would you like to buy side by side burial plots with me?"

    "Hmmmm. Why did he run away?"

    "Maybe I should have just asked for mutual living wills and general powers of attorney first?"
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    Jul 29, 2010 3:18 AM GMT
    Here's an example: You go on two dates and then confess your attraction on date #2. It's considered overwhelming for some guys and "too fast".
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 29, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    Picking out your china pattern at Macy's....man
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    Jul 29, 2010 3:58 AM GMT
    Isn't there any compelling answers guys? I mean after dating somebody for a while.
    mybud saidPicking out your china pattern at Macy's....man
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    Jul 29, 2010 4:00 AM GMT
    marcobruno1978 saidHere's an example: You go on two dates and then confess your attraction on date #2. It's considered overwhelming for some guys and "too fast".


    ?? Attraction is what you confess when you first MEET the person, or am I nuts??
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    Jul 29, 2010 4:02 AM GMT
    talking to a guy online the first 2 weeks of "talking" were already calling each other baby, babe, honey, 2 months into it and were already saying "i love you" a monthe after we meet, and we fall deeper in love, 3 months later, we break up, neither one would compromise moving.
    it was the most intense loving ive ever experienced, fast, but intense.
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    Jul 29, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    @Amar... you obviously go far too fast for NYC standards! LOL.
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    Aug 17, 2010 6:22 AM GMT
    Moving too fast is so relative. When you feel overwhelmed by the pace, you are moving to fast.
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    Aug 17, 2010 6:34 AM GMT
    Give me an example of moving too fast

    Telling a guy I was falling in love with him, less than 3 weeks after we had started dating.

    I was, too, I'm old enough to know my own emotions, and when to trust them. But my mistake was in telling him.

    It spooked him, a guy who hadn't been out for very long, who wanted, and with good reason, to sample more of the gay world before settling down with any one guy.

    So I blew it. Spoke too soon. Just because *I* might know my emotions under 3 weeks doesn't mean other guys do. Thereafter he was very wary of me, and we never became really close.

    I was stupid, stupid, stupid, because I really did love him. I'm usually so aware of tactics, and that time I just screwed it up totally by moving too fast. Oh, well, live and learn... icon_sad.gif
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    Aug 17, 2010 7:07 AM GMT
    Geeez. Similar story to above. This guy approached me on g dot com and he continued to pursued me. Younger guy. Hunky guy. Was career oriented (commercial photographer) (young, 31) and my demands (?) on him ...weekends and one night a week??? was too much for his career???? I tried to reason w/him to no avail. I knew he was medicated for depression and anxiety, but... 4-6 16 oz PBRS at night works against that medicated effort. I called him on it 1x. >Let it go. I am no angel and gave him every opportunity but... once the days got longer he said I wanted too much of his time icon_sad.gif Keeeping it all to himself I guess, Hung like a horse and not a top lol Man he was such a nice sweet guy I was sick it didnt work out. He deleted his Gdotcom profile and retreated as he did prior to his approach to me. I feel so bad for him OR he escaped ME??? He apologized like crazy in his last e-mail and then NUTTIN. He wont answer his phone or e-mail. I could even stalk him I guess and hang outside his apt. house. His yellow Lab is a bud of mine. Miss them both a lot. Not likely to ever renew that friendship. Troy (the poor bastard) even deleted his profile as if he's not open to a relationship icon_sad.gif He's such a catch too.
    My buddies loved him. I did too. He was absolutely adorable for sure. I would have been happy to put him through his Masters in fine arts/photography. Based on his reaction I was not right for him I guess.
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    Aug 17, 2010 7:09 AM GMT
    Moving too fast: a guy you are not really into putting his hands up your shorts on the first date.

    Perfectly reasonable behaviour: putting your hand up the shorts of a really hot guy on your firs date

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 17, 2010 3:32 PM GMT
    Having sex with someone before you knew his real age, meeting his friends that morning after, saying 'i love you' and started living together within the first two weeks, then finding to buy a house after a year. That was really fast for me!
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    Aug 17, 2010 3:37 PM GMT
    Apparently texting someone you had a great time with after having a first date the next day is too fast. I recommend waiting a week if that. icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 03, 2010 8:16 AM GMT
    LEANMUSC28 saidApparently texting someone you had a great time with after having a first date the next day is too fast. I recommend waiting a week if that. icon_smile.gif



    Oow! ... that's not fast ... that's normal pace.
    God Knows what was going on in your guy's mind LOL .... or what wasn't.

    I think going fast is when you're feeling overwhelm by what is going on.
    In my case, feeling too much for my boyfriend when we were meeting and getting to know each other. But as we got to know each other we found out that, we were more like soul mates ..... so what we though it was fast, it felt just normal progress.

    I guess it depends on what is going on .... and maybe finding a "someone" who goes your pace .....

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    Nov 03, 2010 3:34 PM GMT
    It really depends on the other guy...

    One time, a friend of mine for years (who I didn't even know was gay) made a move on me and I fell for him. Within weeks of us starting to mess around a little I told him that I was thinking about him a lot...immediately he started to withdraw.

    The friendship began to sour to the point where we're no longer even friends anymore. But he knew I was more of a relationship guy that wasn't into hooking up or fuck buddies, so why he would think I'd be cavalier about being intimate with a friend, I don't know.

    Another guy I met after him, told me BEFORE any intimacy can into play that HE was feeling me...this was only 2 weeks after our first meet.

    So it varies with each guy.
  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    Nov 03, 2010 3:46 PM GMT
    After a 2 months of casual dating, saw him 6 times if that, he told me he loved me and had wanted to say it for a while. At the time I thought it was really sweet, in hindsight it should have been a warning sign,
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Nov 03, 2010 3:58 PM GMT
    I'm not sure this falls into the "moving too fast" category, but one thing I have noticed is that simply one's openness to being available or any indication of general enthusiasm to be spending time together can be enough to completely freak out the other guy. It's happened to me a couple of times where I've sent a guy a simple follow up text a day or so after a date (or hookup) to say "I enjoyed that, let's get together again sometime" and the reaction was akin to "WHOA, dude, back off, that is just WAY too fast!" Kind of perplexing, since nowhere was any other indication given than that it was enjoyable, plain and simple.

    It's kind of strange in our community that pretending to be nonchalant or acting disinterested is the preferred mode of behavior over just being honest and open. It means that both parties are constantly hedging to see what the other guy does first, and the fear of seeming interested just cancels out anything from actually developing.
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    Nov 03, 2010 3:59 PM GMT
    Lesbian.
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    Nov 03, 2010 4:01 PM GMT
    Bill and I apparently, but swiftly approaching 21 years together - we met Nov 18 1989 and exchanged rings that Dec 13th -it seems it worked out rather well for us.

    -Doug