What Is it?

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Jul 29, 2010 7:14 AM GMT
    I have always wondered why it's so hard to find a boyfriend or even just good friends. I thought it was my height, my age, which both may be factors, who knows? But I spent so much time thinking it was me and that I need to change me, but now I am realizing that it's not me. It's others.

    I have noticed that some people just get more attention than others on this site. It's funny how a guy you are interested in will just talk to you just to be nice but when they see a guy they like they go all crazy?!?! I used to think being too vocal on here probably hurt me more than help me, but I said fuck that.

    Why can't people just be themselves? Everyone says be yourself but it's such a load of shit because REALLY people want someone who is just like everyone else and maybe has some originality to cover up their insecurities and conformity to the gay community.

    So who else has/or does feel like this? Where are the people on RJ who have been hiding? I think the real good guys are hiding
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    Jul 29, 2010 9:02 AM GMT
    I'm apparently well liked if the influx of messages when I return is any indication, however there is now a ton of new people on the site and here in lies my dilemma.

    I rewlly have no interest in them and there whining they seem to go on an endless and pathetic torrent of there own life and asking stupidly inane questions.

    Thus i really don't post in the forums much and when I do post it disappears off the front page real fast with all the guy above you, below you, inside you, beside you and with you bullshit as well as the constant stream of people who cant make decisions for them self and need to ask the great community what they should do.....

    Ugh I've become so intolerant and bored.
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    Jul 29, 2010 9:19 AM GMT
    I kinda agree with you but I don't get this It's funny how a guy you are interested in will just talk to you just to be nice but when they see a guy they like they go all crazy?, so if you're not interested in someone you shouldn't be nice or what? and if you don't reply to them then you're stuck-up and rude, you can't win either way icon_neutral.gif
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    Jul 29, 2010 9:20 AM GMT


    This site wrks like any High School cafeteria. Jocks at one table. Bitches at another. Loner's toward the back. Newbies often left trying to navigate their best attempt to sit with who they socially identify w/. Some guys are here to do no more than collect a roster of wrk'd out bodies and pretty faces in their buddy/hot list, while others are truly interested in the community that has been created here but everyone list their purpose as the sameicon_question.gif Sometimes what you find here is a beautifully wrapped package ribbons and all only to utter some of the most fuck'd up ugly personal truths one could imagine. sometimes beauty just doesn't penetrate to ones coreicon_rolleyes.gif Appreciate those that are receptive to your presence and what you contribute and leave the rest at the curb.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 29, 2010 10:31 AM GMT
    Be yourself

    What does that mean?
    You're not yourself ... you're online
    You can be your - online self
    and ask the questions you want answered
    rant when you want to rant about the things you wanna rant about

    Say hello to the guys you want to contact and answer the guys you wanna answer

    Beyond that there isn't much you can do
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2010 11:05 AM GMT
    I wouldnt worry much wether some guys like you here or not. You want to express something say it, its a public site. If you want to establish a friendship/relationship here, you gotta do more than just chat.
    Who cares about the cliques, theyll soon pass. Just as in high school as in life, navigate, find your niche, move on.
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    Jul 29, 2010 11:08 AM GMT
    Hey, this isn't facebook, and it's not a competition.

    I find I get responses when I post salient responses to the conversations, and even sometimes someone gets my humor.. that's always good.

    You're certainly attractive enough that you'll get plenty of guys checking you out.. don't worry about it.

    Just don't become a troll.
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    Jul 29, 2010 11:25 AM GMT
    Yes, your attractive indeed.. and I dont experience this site that way at all... I dont clique, I never have and I dont try to, I never minded not "fitting in" and being an individual in any way.. I like making friends from literally ALL walks of life and I find the colourful differences between us all very appealing.. and yes Ive made loads of friends on this site who I appreciate greatly, even the ones I speak to casually have been immensely supportive, with the odd guy treating me like crap being the exception, but that was fortunately very rare indeed icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 29, 2010 12:07 PM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidI have always wondered why it's so hard to find a boyfriend or even just good friends. I thought it was my height, my age, which both may be factors, who knows? But I spent so much time thinking it was me and that I need to change me, but now I am realizing that it's not me. It's others.


    If you define "boyfriend" as someone you connect with emotionally, intellectually, and physically, with an intensity that's far beyond what you feel with other people, then of course it's not going to happen very often.
    Same for good friends. Depending on your personality you may not meet very many people you're that compatible with. If that's the case then, well, it just is, and even though it's more difficult the friends you finally gain will be that much more important and special,.

    Jmuscle33 saidWhy can't people just be themselves? Everyone says be yourself but it's such a load of shit because REALLY people want someone who is just like everyone else and maybe has some originality to cover up their insecurities and conformity to the gay community.


    In my experience this just isn't true.

    Jmuscle33 saidSo who else has/or does feel like this? Where are the people on RJ who have been hiding? I think the real good guys are hiding


    One thing I'll say is that people in general don't get a good first impression from profiles and an online persona that put forth a lot of negativity. I get that pretty strongly from yours, and it might be that people that you'd otherwise like are turned off by it. As someone already said - you're not yourself online, you're your online self when people interact with you here. There's a relatively narrow bandwidth available to try to get people a sense of who you are. If most of what you use that bandwidth for is to complain then people have to assume that you use the same percentage of your life for the same activity Whether or not it's true isn't the point. It's just all anyone can see.

    That might be a place to start.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2010 3:33 PM GMT
    I agree with gregography; your profile is too negative. Lightn up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2010 3:35 PM GMT
    lol, and turn off the a.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2010 3:40 PM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidI have always wondered why it's so hard to find a boyfriend or even just good friends. I thought it was my height, my age, which both may be factors, who knows? But I spent so much time thinking it was me and that I need to change me, but now I am realizing that it's not me. It's others.

    I have noticed that some people just get more attention than others on this site. It's funny how a guy you are interested in will just talk to you just to be nice but when they see a guy they like they go all crazy?!?! I used to think being too vocal on here probably hurt me more than help me, but I said fuck that.

    Why can't people just be themselves? Everyone says be yourself but it's such a load of shit because REALLY people want someone who is just like everyone else and maybe has some originality to cover up their insecurities and conformity to the gay community.

    So who else has/or does feel like this? Where are the people on RJ who have been hiding? I think the real good guys are hiding


    One word: Prozac.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2010 5:44 PM GMT
    PFFFT:
    lilTanker saidWoe is me! I've gotten far too popular for my own good!!!


    This:
    meninlove said lol, and turn off the a.


    I know how you feel, but I've actually noticed that whole guys only talking to guys that they're interested in long ago. Join a chat room and see how many people individually greet you...
    Guy #1:"-Hello guys"
    Guy #1"Hey *guy I think is really attractive"
    Guy #3: (Unattractive) "Hello Guy #1"
    Guy #1 thought- 'hmmm, he must not be into me, let's go down a notch'
    Guy #1: "Hello *guy I think is attractive"
    Guy #3: (Unattractive) "How are you today?"
    Guy #1 thought- 'still no reaction... maybe if I drop it down yet ANOTHER notch'
    Guy #1:"How's it going *guy I think is some-what but not really attractive*
    Guy #1 though- 'STILL NOTHING!!!'
    Guy #1 RAGE QUIT.

    It happens... but eventually you'll learn to just move on.

    Wait... What was I saying again? icon_neutral.gif Oh well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2010 7:36 AM GMT
    Yeah I agree with tank, I have noticed a change in RJ since I started, ( I used to have an old account back in the day... stopped for a while, then came back ) sure there were the above me below me posts, but not as much as now. I guess people used to ask more advice about weight training, eating, and health. Now I don't really every reply to a thread.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2010 7:45 AM GMT
    Either you are a Real Jock regular, or a person with a nice body. Outside of that, you are simply ignored no matter how great your advice may be [yes I'm bitter, now shut it!].
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jul 30, 2010 7:59 AM GMT
    I think alot of guys who look for any relationship online should practice more in the real world situations. I don't see any need for trying to date online. I do understand alot have to because they live in remote areas, but my guess is it's more thier personality than just their appearance that keeps them single.icon_idea.gificon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2010 7:59 AM GMT
    GBRelentless saidEither you are a Real Jock regular, or a person with a nice body. Outside of that, you are simply ignored no matter how great your advice may be [yes I'm bitter, now shut it!].


    HE SAID!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2010 8:07 AM GMT
    Typical male brain: "If ya can't eat it, spend it, or fuck it, to hell with it."
  • Markebri

    Posts: 110

    Jul 30, 2010 8:14 AM GMT
    LOL @ paulflexes's comment..sad, but true.

    Sounds like you're just having a bad day (or week), stud. I personally think you're very cute, but your profile could use a little lightening up. Just a friendly word of advice icon_biggrin.gif