Stuck between 2 guys, made the wrong choice, now it may be too late to correct myself.

  • yankeesblazer...

    Posts: 243

    Jul 29, 2010 9:02 PM GMT
    So in January of 2007 I started dating somebody with whom I quickly fell in love with. We hung out all the time, txted each other constantly when we weren't together, etc. I felt like we really enjoyed each other's company, and for somebody like me who wasn't out to anybody yet just having somebody to trust was an amazing feeling.

    Our relationship endured long past the "infatuation" period, but after 2.5 years we just began to fight and bicker all the time. Our relationship became one of competition, rather than one of companionship and support. During a break that we had, I met an amazing person who changed my perspective on everything. Here was somebody who I didn't have to nag to hang out with, and who I could spend hours at night talking to. After about 5 months, however, I went back to my boyfriend and the new guy and I stayed friends.

    About 4 months after this, I invited the guy I had left for my boyfriend to my house for a party. I didn't plan on doing anything with him other than to hang out, but with my boyfriend being out of town I don't know what I expected to happen. Sure enough, the old bond returned and we ended up sleeping together that night. My boyfriend found out and broke it off with me.

    4 months went by, and despite feeling like I absoultely loved the new person I was with, all I could think about was how I felt horrible for hurting my ex boyfriend. The new guy kept telling me "concentrate on what we have now, not on what you used to have", and he was right, but for some reason I couldn't. Once again, I returned to my ex-boyfriend.

    This time things were totally different. The connection we had before splitting it off the last time had evaporated. He stopped wanting to spend time with me, and the sex completely stopped. The fighting came more often and got more intense. Abruptly one night through a text message of all things, I hear that he is breaking it off with me again, this time for good.

    Strangely, I didn't feel all that sad. Obviously I was upset, but at the same time I felt a sense of relief. Now, I told myself, I am absolved of any guilt and can be with the person I realized all along that I truly loved.

    What I am afraid of is that this person doesn't seem to show the same interest in me as before, and in all actuality I can't blame him. I just threw myself out there to him last night, telling him exactly how I felt and how sorry I was for ever jerking him back and forth like I did, but he hasn't been responding lately. I'm afraid I have alienated him and lost him, but I hope he is just taking some time and doing his due diligence before responding to such an emotionally filled message.

    I know I made the wrong decision over and over, but I just hope now that I am finally on track it isn't too late.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Jul 29, 2010 9:10 PM GMT
    i suggest you send him a copy of this thread.
  • yankeesblazer...

    Posts: 243

    Jul 29, 2010 9:19 PM GMT
    rnch saidi suggest you send him a copy of this thread.


    I really want to...I just want him to know that the reason I ever left him was because I couldn't bear my ex being in so much pain because of me. Now that I know he doesn't want me any longer, that feeling is gone and I can wholly concentrate on the next guy. I'm just afraid of seeming too pushy, that maybe it's best to give him his space to think about things.

    It sucks because I feel like I screwed things up for myself just because I care about people's feelings too much. I don't want to be the source of their pain.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Jul 29, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    so just do it already!! waddua got to loose at this point?
  • yankeesblazer...

    Posts: 243

    Jul 29, 2010 10:53 PM GMT
    rnch saidso just do it already!! waddua got to loose at this point?


    Good point.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2010 5:06 PM GMT
    If I understand correctly, you turned your back on the new guy twice to get back with your ex-bf. You say you care too much about other people's feelings but what about the new guy's feelings when you dumped him to get back with your ex? Were his feelings not as important as your ex's? It sounds like the only reason you're back in contact with the new guy is because your ex absolved you of your guilt by dumping you.

    If I were to advise the new guy, I tell him to enter at his own risk. Dangerous curves ahead.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2010 5:13 PM GMT
    unfounded7 saidIf I understand correctly, you turned your back on the new guy twice to get back with your ex-bf. You say you care too much about other people's feelings but what about the new guy's feelings when you dumped him to get back with your ex?


    I agree. The new guy would have to be an absolute idiot to get back with the OP.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Jul 30, 2010 5:22 PM GMT
    young drama. makes me dizzy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2010 4:23 AM GMT
    I would tell the new guy how you feel, IF you are completely over your ex. If the new guy has ever been in love with someone then he would know how you feel about your ex.

    But I do believe that the new guy needs to take responsibility for his actions to, he was the other guy in your little "affair" so he cant be completely upset with you.

    Maybe he will come around, maybe not. I understand how you felt when you were going back to your ex. You thought you could work in out, again this new guy needs to understand this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2010 4:31 AM GMT
    am there right now actually , except just a tad bit different and break up before different sex guy, but anyway, my response is, you're probably gonna do alot to hope he comes back to you. maybe you will even wait for him. but you have to remember, you still exist and time is still moving. you may put alot of time and life choices on hold in hopes in comes back to you, but if you do it too long, take it from me, you lose a lot more waiting. so ask yourself, how long are you will to hope and wait for someone to come back to you before you forget to live for yourself. don't wait to long, not like i am
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2010 4:48 AM GMT
    O what the fuck

    Why do some of you have such fucking drama?! It's like a regular bad soap around hereicon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2010 5:29 AM GMT
    I would have blown you off long ago and moved on.. sorry.
  • yankeesblazer...

    Posts: 243

    Aug 01, 2010 11:48 AM GMT
    MadeNUSA saidO what the fuck

    Why do some of you have such fucking drama?! It's like a regular bad soap around hereicon_evil.gif


    I actually agree, even though I posted this topic. Here I am, somebody who generally HATES drama, and it makes me feel even worse that here I am being the one creating it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2010 12:32 PM GMT
    sdgman saidI would have blown you off long ago and moved on.. sorry.


    yeah, I would need a Mercedes, a scl 600 to start with; it wouldn't need to be a new one, a nice lease return would work.