Is it the first sign?

  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jul 29, 2010 11:24 PM GMT
    So here's the deal.

    We've been together for 15 years now, through separation by the Atlantic to building a home complete with beagle, Spanky. We touch whenever we're in the same room. The first thing he does when he gets home is drop his stuff and come into whatever room I'm in to greet me with a hug and a kiss. He tells me about his day and asks me about mine. When we have a problem, he asks me if I have a moment to talk about it, and we sit on the bed or the sofa or the kitchenette and talk about how we see the situation and if the other has something they need to share and what solution would be amenable to both of us. When I flew home to arrange my mother's funeral last month, he sent the most beautiful and tasteful bouquet of flowers and called me regularly to support me. When we need space some evening, we say so and take it, but send a text during the evening to assure the other it's nothing serious.

    Now it's the end of the school year in Bavaria and he has chosen to spend the night in the city where he works (45 minutes away) because this evening was a celebration for the colleagues who won't return next year due to retirement or school change and he wanted to give a mini-farewell speech for a couple of them he holds dear. Two were even at my birthday party this year and invite us over regularly. But he's never spent the night there before. Not in 8 years. In fact, I have to beg him to go away during school holidays sometimes so that I have some peace and quiet to work during the day.

    Should I be concerned about this change in routine? I mean, isn't that what they always say to watch out for when a relationship is falling apart?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2010 12:57 AM GMT


    Should I be concerned about this change in routine? I mean, isn't that what they always say to watch out for when a relationship is falling apart?
    [/quote]

    No
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2010 12:59 AM GMT
    You should be concerned about any germinating feelings of doubt or mistrust in you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    Interesting point from Ciarsolo, I'm inclined to agree. But mostly I wanted to say that it sounds like you have a great relationship.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jul 30, 2010 1:26 AM GMT
    Thanks guys. I will admit the post is a bit of a send-off on overly anxious partners. My guy's a gem and a keeper and I'm a better man for loving him.
  • JimJim

    Posts: 58

    Jul 30, 2010 1:41 AM GMT
    Are you afraid that he'll cheat? I noticed on your profile that you have an open relationship and are also open to hookups. To what degree is your relationship open and do you think that might be contributing to your insecurity?
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    Jul 30, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    The answer to his decision is clearly stated in your original post. I don't see any issue other than what you've built up inyour mind. Are there other problems you didn't mention that make this more significant? If not, I say that you need to relax. Why if the relationship is as solid as you said are you creating anxiety for yourself?