what do you mean by "regular guy"

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  Jul 30, 2010 2:32 AM GMT

  
  I think this is a big problem in the gay culture.....sometimes we refer to ourselves as "regular guys". I've noticed in a lot of the "about me" sections this is how guys refer to themselves. I know a lot of men want to make the distinction between fem/masc men, and this the route they go...
  But I was just thinking.....we have enough problems with straight people thinking we aren't regular or "normal", do we really need to divide amongst ourselves and start referring to some of us as normal and others not??
  
  Its a tough topic, and I'm not saying there is any wrong or right answer. But what do you guys think about this?
  

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  Jul 30, 2010 2:36 AM GMT

  Regular guys: Shit every morning like clockwork.

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  Jul 30, 2010 2:47 AM GMT

  I've noticed that too. And while I'm not fem (and have no problem with that at all) I personally don't want to be "a regular guy" because I think there are a lot of interests and activities that I do that are interesting and not necessarily regular. However, I think it comes down to code for a lot of guys that means "I'm sill a man interested in man things"

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• cromi
  
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  Jul 30, 2010 2:49 AM GMT

  regular guys are guys that dont put cheese on their burgers!!!
  makes them special if they do!

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  Jul 30, 2010 2:58 AM GMT

  Diversity is good.
  Putting in one profile that you are a 'regular guy', or a 'fashion victim', or any tip about where you stand and what you like is good. It allow people reading your profile to know how you see yourself (or want to be seen).
  
  I am a 'regular guy', living with another 'regular guy', and we are exposed, so interact with many straigh people who never meet gay people before.
  
  Our 'regular' attitude helps them to overcome pre-concived ideas about ALL gay people being excentric and provocative. So, in a way, it's good, as we help folks become more tolerant and accepting of homosexuallity, and soon see it as just a sexual preference, and not something outrageous.
  
  Yet it bug me that you have to be 'regular' to be accepted, because I don't see why very feminine guys, or guy wearing their sexuallity on their sleeve, should not be accepted and respected just as easily.
  
  We tend to be cautious about anybody who is 'different', it's the root for racism, homophobia etc... The only way for that exclusion reflex to shrink is to be routinly exposed to difference, as the instinctive cautious feeling will weare out.
  
  So I'm sure that being just yourself, no more, no less, is a good thing for oneself as well as for making a more accepting society.

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  Jul 30, 2010 3:28 AM GMT

  minox saidDiversity is good.
  Putting in one profile that you are a 'regular guy', or a 'fashion victim', or any tip about where you stand and what you like is good. It allow people reading your profile to know how you see yourself (or want to be seen).
  
  I am a 'regular guy', living with another 'regular guy', and we are exposed, so interact with many straigh people who never meet gay people before.
  
  Our 'regular' attitude helps them to overcome pre-concived ideas about ALL gay people being excentric and provocative. So, in a way, it's good, as we help folks become more tolerant and accepting of homosexuallity, and soon see it as just a sexual preference, and not something outrageous.
  
  Yet it bug me that you have to be 'regular' to be accepted, because I don't see why very feminine guys, or guy wearing their sexuallity on their sleeve, should not be accepted and respected just as easily.
  
  We tend to be cautious about anybody who is 'different', it's the root for racism, homophobia etc... The only way for that exclusion reflex to shrink is to be routinly exposed to difference, as the instinctive cautious feeling will weare out.
  
  So I'm sure that being just yourself, no more, no less, is a good thing for oneself as well as for making a more accepting society.

  I love this explanation. I, too, tend to have a rather invisible sexuality, unless I voice it. And yeah it definitely helps the gaybies (new2gay) overcome their fear of the feminine gay stereotype.
  
  I used to feel flattered when people would tell me I'm "the straightest-acting gay guy they're ever seen." Now I realize it's the flamers started the gay rights movement and done most the work for our rights. Since that revelation, I started using my approachability to teach the gaybies that gays are just as diverse as straights...and in-betweens (bi's). Then their acceptance of the queenie bitches increases exponentially. Well, at least the queenie part gets accepted. They still think they're bitchy.
  
  However, I refuse to consider myself "regular" because "regular" is boring as fuck. I'm eccentric.

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  Jul 30, 2010 3:33 AM GMT

  PS. Today at work they informed me the company has new pink t-shirts for anyone who wants them. Of course they were like "hey Paul, real men don't wear pink" (just fucking with me as they always do). So I told them "real men have the balls to be themselves and tell others to go fuck themselves if they don't like it."

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• coastguy90814
  
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  Jul 30, 2010 3:55 AM GMT

  gzcreezy said
  I think this is a big problem in the gay culture.....sometimes we refer to ourselves as "regular guys". I've noticed in a lot of the "about me" sections this is how guys refer to themselves. I know a lot of men want to make the distinction between fem/masc men, and this the route they go...
  But I was just thinking.....we have enough problems with straight people thinking we aren't regular or "normal", do we really need to divide amongst ourselves and start referring to some of us as normal and others not??
  
  Its a tough topic, and I'm not saying there is any wrong or right answer. But what do you guys think about this?
  

  
  
  I really don't see this as a tough topic. "Regular" guy transcends over to the straight world to, so it can pertain as an adjective to either Gay or Straight men. I don't think it's a big problem in the Gay culture either, I haven't seen any proof of that but I understand where you are coming from. I think the problem is some people are distinguishing 'regular' as non feminine which it can be but more importantly it just means someone down to earth no frills about him. That's my take, I honestly don't see it meaning anything more.

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  Jul 30, 2010 3:59 AM GMT

  coastguy90814 said... it just means someone down to earth ...

  Well don't date a pilot. They're above everyone...well...everyone except astronauts.

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  Jul 30, 2010 4:01 AM GMT

  paulflexes said

  coastguy90814 said... it just means someone down to earth ...

  Well don't date a pilot. They're above everyone...well...everyone except astronauts.

  
  
  LOL, you humble me, as a pole vaulter, I foolishly though I was above you all ;)

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  Jul 30, 2010 4:05 AM GMT

  gzcreezy said
  I think this is a big problem in the gay culture.....sometimes we refer to ourselves as "regular guys". I've noticed in a lot of the "about me" sections this is how guys refer to themselves. I know a lot of men want to make the distinction between fem/masc men, and this the route they go...
  But I was just thinking.....we have enough problems with straight people thinking we aren't regular or "normal", do we really need to divide amongst ourselves and start referring to some of us as normal and others not??
  
  Its a tough topic, and I'm not saying there is any wrong or right answer. But what do you guys think about this?
  

  
  
  it's only a problem for those who choose to worry about what others think of them.

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  Jul 30, 2010 4:08 AM GMT

  I dont mind Im not a regular guy ... I dont mind if guys are regular guys, a long as you're being yourself IM cool with it

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  Jul 30, 2010 4:10 AM GMT

  minox said

  paulflexes said

  coastguy90814 said... it just means someone down to earth ...

  Well don't date a pilot. They're above everyone...well...everyone except astronauts.

  
  
  LOL, you humble me, as a pole vaulter, I foolishly though I was above you all ;)

  Just be careful where you stick that pole.
  I miss pole vaulting...did it some in high school for fun.

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• calibro
  
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  Jul 30, 2010 4:27 AM GMT

  as in i'm a guy who likes to get together with other attractive men and have rough sex all night long.. don't all guys typically want that on a regular basis?

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  Jul 30, 2010 4:34 AM GMT

  Regular: Boring
  Down-to-Earth: Stupid
  Distinguished: Old
  
  You get the picture. ;)
  They're just trying to add some spice to their profile....

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  Jul 30, 2010 4:44 AM GMT

  A1EX saidRegular: Boring
  Down-to-Earth: Stupid
  Distinguished: Old
  
  You get the picture. ;)
  They're just trying to add some spice to their profile....

  Hot: You either have nekkid pics, or they want to see your nekkid pics...body type is irrelevant.

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  Jul 30, 2010 5:07 AM GMT

  a weekly topic here. WHO FUCKING CARES HOW OTHER PEOPLE DESCRIBE THEMSELVES!???
  
  
  i call myself a regular guy cause im just like my buddies. They are regular guys who happen to be straight. I am just like them but i like dudes. How else do i describe myself?

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  Jul 30, 2010 5:08 AM GMT

  and what do you mean a big problem in the 'gay culture' why do we have to be labeled as a culture? cant we just be our own people? God damn this stuff pisses me off.

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  Jul 30, 2010 5:20 AM GMT

  Everyone's definition of 'regular' is different because everyones social circles are different. If/when you see someone that has that in their profile, send them a message asking what they mean by it

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  Jul 30, 2010 5:21 AM GMT

  paulflexes saidRegular guys: Shit every morning like clockwork.

  
  
  And afternoon after work.
  
  And night before shower.

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  Jul 30, 2010 5:24 AM GMT

  A1EX saidRegular: Boring
  Down-to-Earth: Stupid
  Distinguished: Old
  

  
  
  HAH!
  
  I'll cutabitch who even attempts to call me regular. Creating a framework to humorously alienate myself is hard work y'all!

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  Jul 30, 2010 5:24 AM GMT

  i always assumed it was guys who ate AllBran everyday.

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  Jul 30, 2010 5:28 AM GMT

  RuggedRanger15 saidand what do you mean a big problem in the 'gay culture' why do we have to be labeled as a culture? cant we just be our own people? God damn this stuff pisses me off.

  
  
  Cool down ;-)
  You say you want to be just like you are, and it's right and good. But you said in your post above that you are just like your (straight) buddies, it could mean you want instead to be like everybody else around you.
  
  The point is like we tend to share more and more common ground with the people we spend a lot of time with. Sometime, it's the opposite, we don't feel ok in our surrounding and try to diferenciate ourself, making the difference stronger and stronger.
  
  To fit in is no better than to stand out, it's just two way to feel ok about yourself.
  
  And feeling good about yourself is all that matter.
  
  

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  Jul 30, 2010 10:01 AM GMT

  RuggedRanger15 saida weekly topic here. WHO FUCKING CARES HOW OTHER PEOPLE DESCRIBE THEMSELVES!???
  
  
  i call myself a regular guy cause im just like my buddies. They are regular guys who happen to be straight. I am just like them but i like dudes. How else do i describe myself?

  
  
  I thought "kinda redneck" gave a lot more information than "regular guy" (I'm not saying that as any kind of criticism, just that one description has a lot more actual meaning.)

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  Jul 30, 2010 10:05 AM GMT

  gzcreezy said
  I think this is a big problem in the gay culture.....sometimes we refer to ourselves as "regular guys". I've noticed in a lot of the "about me" sections this is how guys refer to themselves. I know a lot of men want to make the distinction between fem/masc men, and this the route they go...
  But I was just thinking.....we have enough problems with straight people thinking we aren't regular or "normal", do we really need to divide amongst ourselves and start referring to some of us as normal and others not??
  
  Its a tough topic, and I'm not saying there is any wrong or right answer. But what do you guys think about this?
  

  
  
  At least it's not the hateful "straight-acting".
  
  I've never thought that it meant normal-and-you're-not, in fact I've used "normal but not regular" before.
  
  It's a struggle to try to find ways to describe who we are. For me, "regular guy" isn't that negative - its just that by itself it doesn't tell you much.

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