Am I just not seeing what is wrong?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2010 2:25 AM GMT
    I just ended a relationship because the guy I was seeing kept making me feel guilty because I would never let him come over. I admit it must be pretty frustrating liking a guy and not being able to see him but I would always let him know what is going on in advance.

    Example: On Sunday I would send him a text saying, "Hey my dad is going to have surgery and I'm going to see how he is doing on Friday. I won't be in town." I would get a text back saying, "Fine, I'm pretty busy this weekend too." Come Friday, I would get a text asking "Can I come over today?" uhhh did you not remember what I sent you nearly a week ago? "Sorry, I told you I was going to be out of town to see how my dad is doing after surgery." I would always get "Whatever I'm begining to think you just don't care. You are just being selfish". I figure I don't need this guy causing any more drama so I ended it when he pulled it again.

    My question to you guys: Is there something I'm not seeing? How am I being selfish if I'm giving advanced warning?
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    Jul 31, 2010 2:31 AM GMT
    Sounds like he'd make a good boss...put in a week's notice for a day off, then he forgets and gets pissed at you. icon_lol.gif

    Yeah, you did good by dropping that fucker. Find someone who's got enough intelligence to check previous texts before jumping to conclusions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2010 2:51 AM GMT
    Someone that is interested in you would actually have a memory of what you said. He's not interested in you. So, good job.
  • wander2340

    Posts: 176

    Jul 31, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    If all you are doing is texting each other once a week I would hardly call that a relationship ;)
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    Jul 31, 2010 2:58 AM GMT
    wander2340 saidIf all you are doing is texting each other once a week I would hardly call that a relationship ;)
    I talk to all of my FWB's more than that...on the phone. icon_lol.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 31, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    A relationship is a lot more than texting and phone calls. You have to have real communication. You need to really talk to him and he needs to be more flexible due to your family obligations. You never mentioned how you all get along or how you viewed the relationship.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 31, 2010 3:06 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said

    Everyone is hiding behind their cell phone text messaging these days. It's a fucking phone for crying out loud, at least call the person and have an actual vocalized real time conversation!



    Well there was the time you texted me ...LOL

    jk
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2010 3:06 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI refuse to have a relationship with a guy where we are text messaging each other as our way of communicating.
    That mainly happens with the guys who buy the iPhones for "braggin rights" and can't afford to buy any decent amount of minutes with it.
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    Jul 31, 2010 3:17 AM GMT
    We would talk on the phone more than a week however the real problem we had is that I would work mornings to mid day and he'd work afternoons until night. Seeing eachother was hard especially when he would pick up hours or I'd go away for a weekend. I think the break up was a good call since neither one of us were really happy.
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    Jul 31, 2010 6:03 AM GMT
    good riddance.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Jul 31, 2010 7:06 AM GMT
    Not a lot to go on, but if you're giving him advance notice that a certain date doesn't work and he forgets, that's not your fault. Of course, people are busy. But you remind him and he gets pissy about it.

    It that's really what's going on and it's happened multiple times, then you're completely in the right. But, given he knows your father is having surgery, I'd expect much greater sensitivity and understanding from him. So, given this scenario, he's the selfish one, not you. And if you don't have room in your life given what's going on, then that makes total sense to me.
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    Jul 31, 2010 7:31 AM GMT
    To be honest it's about preference, to me I don't know and naturally don't remember that you cannot hang out with me when I want it. To me, I want to be with you everyday in some respect, and therefore I live day by day and don't plan because in a relationship, I'm only 100%.

    People can argue and say that it's high maintenance but why WOULDN'T you want a high maintenance guy? A guy that WANTS to see you and WANTS to be with you constantly?

    I agree, it's probably annoying that he asked twice, but take that as how much he cares. I think you DID come off as non-caring. I could see him being ridiculous if he DIDN'T say those things.

    If he was talking to you constantly and asking but without showing negative reactions (because HE GENUINELY wants to see you), then it would mean that he doesn't like you but I don't think that's the case.

    ...sorry for the analysis!
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    Jul 31, 2010 7:41 AM GMT

    Considering I only know your half of the story and the opening sentence was...... "I just ended a relationship because the guy I was seeing kept making me feel guilty because I would never let him come over". The key wrd for me is NEVER. Which means that your hiding him? So if he's fustrated w/ that, that makes sense. Otherwise, I don't like bossy bf either.