i'm sorry for another downer post, but i don't know what else to do...

  • tony_boost

    Posts: 390

    Jul 31, 2010 10:49 AM GMT
    i know i sound like a debbie downer a lot of the time, but i just hate living so much. i hate the feeling of being alive, all i ever feel is pain. i want to die more than anything but i know i don't have it in me to kill myself. I feel like every day is pain from morning until the time i go to bed, not that sleeping is any relief since i never can fall asleep. i know that sounds dramatic but i just hate life so much. i know i'm going to get a lot of hateful comments on this telling me to get over myself but i just don't know what to do anymore, i'm just done with life.
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    Jul 31, 2010 10:52 AM GMT
    tony_boost saidi know i sound like a debbie downer a lot of the time, but i just hate living so much. i hate the feeling of being alive, all i ever feel is pain. i want to die more than anything but i know i don't have it in me to kill myself. I feel like every day is pain from morning until the time i go to bed, not that sleeping is any relief since i never can fall asleep. i know that sounds dramatic but i just hate life so much. i know i'm going to get a lot of hateful comments on this telling me to get over myself but i just don't know what to do anymore, i'm just done with life.


    Dude, I can understand how you're feeling. I've felt the same way.

    Do you have a good friend that you can call right now? Consider telling your friend how you're feeling and ask if you can sleep over on the sofa or something.

    What are your thoughts?
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    Jul 31, 2010 10:53 AM GMT
    Believe me on this one. You can get through whatever is happening. And, you'll be surprised how much stronger you will be by just hanging tough.
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    Jul 31, 2010 11:11 AM GMT
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  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 31, 2010 11:44 AM GMT
    Without knowing the particulars of what's really bothering you
    I can only bring up generalities
    You're 18
    This is a particularly tumultuous time in men's lives
    you're looking at adulthood without knowing if you're really prepared
    also you posted that you're not really gay but that you like guys
    That right there says a whole lot
    If you're battling with the coming to terms of being gay at the same time that's a recipe for disaster if you let it be

    What I can say to you is that you are Not alone
    and that you can come out on the other side with this all behind you
    I am not discounting the pain you are feeling right now but what I am saying is that there are ways to overcome it
    Best wishes go out to you
    get to friends and family ... try not to be alone when you feel this way
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    Jul 31, 2010 2:42 PM GMT
    tony awhile back you posted a topic about smoking up and how sexy/great you think it is. Well, there's a time and a place and I think you should put all that aside and experience sobriety for awhile. Get some counsel at the same time.

    hugs -Doug
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    Jul 31, 2010 3:48 PM GMT
    If you weren't so cute, you'd be sucking the life out of us.....now Quit your whining and start taking responsibility for yourself, how you feel, what you think, your attitude.and what you do.

    If what you are doing or feeling is not satisfactory...CHANGE IT!...if you don't know how to change it, ASK FOR AND GET INFORMATION AND HELP.There are lots of sources for help...Psychiatrists, psychologist, family DR, clergy, Social Workers, online, just to name a very few....
    The world doesn't "OWE" you anything....get some help and learn some better, more proactive coping skills.....
    As a life long sufferer of DEPRESSION....recognize the feelings and then GET SOME HELP! , but don't just sit there whining.....icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jul 31, 2010 3:57 PM GMT
    his cuteness doesn't prevent him sucking the life out of us.


    HOWEVER, i contended with these types of feelings from the time i was 10 or 12 until i was 30 years old, and i can completely relate. you aren't alone, unless you choose to isolate yourself. if you haven't been tested for it, go to a professional and see if you need to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. they can help you, if this is what is affecting you.

    life is challenging, but it is beautiful. you create your own reality: choose happiness!

    also, remember this: emotions often work in spirals. If you start your day frowning and thinking something negative, you will increase your risk of feeling more and more depressed. the action of smiling releases hormones in your brain that make you feel better. find SOMETHING to smile about BEFORE YOU GET OUT OF BED. start your day with something positive or empowering. it doesn't matter how trivial or silly it is - you need it to start your day off right (just like breakfast!).

    speaking of breakfast: if you are depressed and not eating, your hunger will put your seratonin levels off balance and further worsen your moods. if you aren't eating you will make yourself worse. after your morning smile, EAT BREAKFAST.

    as someone who suffered through depression for almost 20 years (and who has managed to avoid the worst bouts of it for the last 3-5 years), i can tell you that constant blues can be cleared away BUT IT REQUIRES PROACTIVE LIVING ON YOUR PART. get therapy, get meds, get rest, get food, get happy!!

    xoxo
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    Jul 31, 2010 4:01 PM GMT
    I feel sorry for you, I really hope you will feel better soon.

    I'd really recommend you to search professional help, you shouldn't be ashamed of that.

    It is not good to keep all these feelings inside.
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    Jul 31, 2010 4:42 PM GMT

    You need to see a professional who can help you realize why you feel this way, how to cope, and put you on medications if necessary to help balance you out. If you say "I don't believe in antidepressants," then you don't know enough about them and you should STILL discuss with a pro. Your feelings are not as abnormal as you think, it's the failure to be able to cope that you need help with.

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    Jul 31, 2010 4:57 PM GMT
    You don't need to get over yourself but in touch with yourself.
    Find the things you like doing.
    Embrace yourself.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Jul 31, 2010 5:28 PM GMT
    Well no/one feels great all the time, not even a fab bitch[just kidding] lol
    Sometimes i think we're placed in certain situations that allow us to take a step back to really look at ourselves....If your feeling pain figure out why?, is it something your in control of or are you allowing others to determain your happiness....
    L OVE YOURSELF:
    cause if you dont love yourself,,how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else.............
  • SFNavigator

    Posts: 62

    Jul 31, 2010 5:38 PM GMT
    hey pal, you need to seek out some medical help to find out if your experiencing chemical inbalances in your body. I'm not saying you are but, many people who suffer from bi-polar experience the things you are saying. good luck, and let us know how it goes if you do get some tests done.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jul 31, 2010 7:46 PM GMT
    Don't wanna sound like a dickhead, but if the kid doesn't wanna live anymore who are we to tell him not to??

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    Jul 31, 2010 8:17 PM GMT
    Import saidDon't wanna sound like a dickhead, but if the kid doesn't wanna live anymore who are we to tell him not to??



    you might try a little harder to avoid it then. although it's easy for YOU to take this tone, since you don't know him, how do you think the people who DO know him would feel to see you say something like that? his family? friends? others who depend upon their intereaction with him in some way? his life or death may make zero difference to you directly, but we are all connected, and his loss will ultimately (however indirectly) be your loss as well.
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    Jul 31, 2010 8:22 PM GMT
    Import> Don't wanna sound like a dickhead, but if the kid doesn't wanna live anymore who are we to tell him not to??

    Because suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem?

    It's also based on a false dichotomy: I can live and be unhappy forever or I can just end it all.
    What people here are saying is that there are other, better, options.

    If it applies to the OP or not, why should someone who suffers from a chemical imbalance kill themselves rather than seek medical help and get a prescription that may put them in a much better place?

    It's unfortunate that some shy away from "psychiatric help" because of the social stigma attached to it, as if seeking treatment makes you "crazy" or a "mental case". While there are technical differences, getting a prescription for an anti-depressant is no different than seeing a doctor to get anti-biotics.

    No one would sit there and say: "Oh, look how sick I am, high fever and all... I just want to die rather than take anti-biotics". And certainly no one would follow that by saying: "if he doesn't want to live with a high-fever, why not let him end it all?"
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    Jul 31, 2010 8:37 PM GMT
    ^this
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    Jul 31, 2010 8:39 PM GMT
    Import saidDon't wanna sound like a dickhead...




    But you do. Were you unaware of that?
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    Jul 31, 2010 8:52 PM GMT
    import, in addition to what caesarea4 said what about his family? I think they would appreciate it if strangers talked him out of this and offered help if he posts a topic like this. We had another post like this on RJ a few months ago and the guy ended up in the hospital. Most people jumped into the topic and did what they could, I'm sure his family appreciated all the help we offered him when they saw his topic. Thankfully he recovered. Most of us take things like this seriously.

    Posts like these are usually a cry for help. And what if if Einstein or Martin Luther King had carried out a terrible thought? What would the world be like today?

    Tony, those thoughts are a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

    You're only 18. Things get better as you get older. You become more aware of who you are as you get older. Plenty of people had these kind of thoughts too and now have grown into well adjusted wonderful people. It took some time and some help from others but they realize what great lives they have now, many are famous or have made great contributions to society.

    Try to think of what is going well with your life. Even the smallest thing then move onto bigger things that are going well with your life.

    Also, if you're uncomfortable with your sexuality then you need to realize you are not alone. There are many gay and bi guys out there like you. Don't believe the myth that we are a minority- cause we're not. Many guys have felt like they are the only gay guy on the planet but when they started to meet more people and they traveled outside of their comfort zones they realized there are actually a lot of gay and bi guys out there.

    They also realized not too many people care if they are gay or not- they just liked them as a person. Seek out a GLBT center at your college, they don't judge anyone (because they know how it feels) and they can offer a lot of help. If you need to seek out a gay freindly therapist, you will thank yourself later.

    Your life get's better as you get older and you are going to meet great guys (It's inevitable since you're attractive). Focus on the positive, focus on improving your life and changing your situation and please seek professional help if you need it.
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    Jul 31, 2010 9:27 PM GMT
    Too echo what has been said above: make the call http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
    See the school counselor he/she can refer you. Chat me up, chat any of us up.
    Most of us have been there; feeling that you just don’t fit in anywhere, sick and tired of feeling that way.
    I know it’s not cool to have to show your weakness, but it is the stronger man that asks for help.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Aug 02, 2010 3:29 PM GMT
    dancerjack said
    Import saidDon't wanna sound like a dickhead, but if the kid doesn't wanna live anymore who are we to tell him not to??



    you might try a little harder to avoid it then. although it's easy for YOU to take this tone, since you don't know him, how do you think the people who DO know him would feel to see you say something like that? his family? friends? others who depend upon their intereaction with him in some way? his life or death may make zero difference to you directly, but we are all connected, and his loss will ultimately (however indirectly) be your loss as well.



    OK, well it's not about his family or his friends or people that depend on him.

    It's about his misery in his mind. He's the one that has to deal with the misery, not the other people.

    How incredibly selfish to even bring other people into this.
    like "don't kill urself because other people will miss u"
    well, guess what, it's not about the other people. It's about him. It's about his struggle, its not about the people he interacts with. The people he interacts with aren't helping him now, thats why he's on here making this thread.

    Where are those people now? Where are those people who should be helping him? Where are those people he should live for now in his darkest hour?


    I'm definitely not advocating suicide. In fact, I wish the OP would seek help and ultimately be happy with his life. I really do. I dont like to see people suffer.
    But, at the same time, aren't we being selfish by insisting he has to live? Maybe, deep down, he doesn't wanna live anymore. You're not him. U can't understand what he may be going through. U truly can't
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    Aug 02, 2010 3:58 PM GMT

    you'll feel better tomorrow , which was yesterday.
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    Aug 02, 2010 4:01 PM GMT
    Import, you don't what some of the men on here giving advice have been through when you say this "But, at the same time, aren't we being selfish by insisting he has to live? Maybe, deep down, he doesn't wanna live anymore. You're not him. U can't understand what he may be going through. U truly can't"


    so we say 'U truly can't, either.'
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 02, 2010 4:02 PM GMT
    You know your cute, your 18 and have so much to live for.

    I realize in the scheme of things it doesn't sound like much help, but
    I wish we knew more to be able to help you. Do you have any friend, support, etc that you can ask for help and input?

    Please tell us more, has it just been a bummer of late or do you really have some things to work through.

    We are here!

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 02, 2010 4:51 PM GMT
    Life is hard, but it's worth it. Keep going.