Do you believe in love at first sight/the one/all that stuff?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 11:29 AM GMT
    I was just thinking if love at first sight/the one/that stuff you see in rom-coms (I love rom-coms even tho they make me feel sad lol) exist?

    Is it realistic to wait for the one? Share your stories if you've been lucky enough to find him icon_biggrin.gif

    P.S. I know rom-coms are fiction and not real lol.
  • myklet1

    Posts: 345

    Jul 31, 2010 11:34 AM GMT
    Yes I do believe in love at first sight. I met my partner, never dated another, moved in together within 3 months and have been happy together for the past 14 years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 12:09 PM GMT
    What you feel at first sight isn't love. That sensation is emanating from a very different place from the heart.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 12:24 PM GMT
    I do and I don't. Also been with my partner a long time - ten years nearly - and it all happened very fast.

    According to science, though, those feelings are phenylethylamines, created by the brain/hormones to encourage procreation between straights.

    We gay men just got it a bit confused is all.
  • HOTWEILLER

    Posts: 347

    Jul 31, 2010 12:31 PM GMT
    I believe in love after first great fuck, nothing more than that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 12:35 PM GMT
    It's more like lust at first site with the possibility of it developing into something... if you can " love" someone just by looking at them then you are most likely a 12 year old girl.
  • tgrissom0312

    Posts: 91

    Jul 31, 2010 12:44 PM GMT
    My last 3 meaningful relationships started with a glance. Literally, they or I walked into a room, made eye contact and I felt a spark in my chest.

    I have had other relationships that didn't have that immediate spark and they never made it very far.

    I don't know what it is that brings it on. Their physical features, ages and gender weren't always the same...(the first was a girl in college before I learned how much I loved cock). icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 12:46 PM GMT
    WRESTLINGGUY saidI believe in love after first great fuck, nothing more than that.


    Damn, that's kinda straight to the point lol.

    I personally don't. Love should grow from friendship IMO.
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Jul 31, 2010 12:47 PM GMT
    No.

    And uh, well said Rico. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 1:51 PM GMT
    Since you asked to share our stories..

    I have recently met one amazing man. When we first met, we were in lust with one another. I think that first eye contact we had is where it all began. We continued to see each other alot--it was reminiscent of jack and rose in TITANIC. We both discovered quickly that we were both feeling things for each other that we hadn't felt before. It was wild, worry free, and safe. Today we are in a commited monogamous relationship built on trust, on great communication, and friendship. We have spent soo much time together and have almost pushed everyone out (Which I know is bad). We both believe in monogamy and believe it is possible to be together with someone forever. This monogamy that we believe in is what will help hold us together.

    Yeah I went around and messed around with hot guys and all before I met him and while it was fun, now I am having 20 times more fun with the man I belong to. Now I have a reason and desire to better myself so that I can be a better man to my boyfriend. Suddenly it is no longer about me but also about him.

    Happy lovin' boys!!
  • setter15

    Posts: 20

    Jul 31, 2010 1:56 PM GMT
    yes, i believe in it whole heartedly. mostly because it happened to me once and then capoot...nothing. he threw me aside and stopped talking to me. i thought it was all going good but apparently it wasn't.

    but yes, i still believe in it ;)
  • Abc123456

    Posts: 336

    Jul 31, 2010 1:57 PM GMT
    Intense romantic love is held together by intense attraction. Love at first sight == lust at first sight; but all the other stuff that follows the first sighting can make or break it too.

    "the one" cannot possibly exist. There are far too many people scattered all over the world. You'd be hooped if your "one" was stuck in Nunavut.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 2:21 PM GMT
    dash3echo saidIntense romantic love is held together by intense attraction. Love at first sight == lust at first sight; but all the other stuff that follows the first sighting can make or break it too.

    "the one" cannot possibly exist. There are far too many people scattered all over the world. You'd be hooped if your "one" was stuck in Nunavut.



    I think mine is...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 2:23 PM GMT
    I believe in love at first sight, and it actually happened a few weeks ago. The dude flew in from London for a photo shoot. Our eyes met when I opened the door, and it was like instant friendship. 1.5 hours later we finally started the shoot, finished quickly, and hung out the rest of the night. Dammit why'd he have to go back to London? icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 3:29 PM GMT
    I dont believe in stuff like that anymore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 3:33 PM GMT
    I think it exists and it probably happens to people who's decisions are influenced significantly by their emotions. Unfortunately for me, I am annoyingly rational and over analytical. I don't even give it a chance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 3:37 PM GMT
    Sure we both believe in it BUT we also believe in the slow approach, the friends first stuff, etc etc etc. Why would anyone think there is only one way to fall in love? icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 3:39 PM GMT
    meninlove said Sure we both believe in it BUT we also believe in the slow approach, the friends first stuff, etc etc etc. Why would anyone think there is only one way to fall in love? icon_confused.gif


    Because their lead by their cocks and not their hearts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 3:54 PM GMT
    Ricovelas said
    meninlove said Sure we both believe in it BUT we also believe in the slow approach, the friends first stuff, etc etc etc. Why would anyone think there is only one way to fall in love? icon_confused.gif


    Because their lead by their cocks and not their hearts.


    Sometimes that's true, Rico, but not always. Bill says for him it was love at first sight; it took me, er, a week. icon_redface.gif

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 3:56 PM GMT
    Yes...anything is possible if you believe.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 4:04 PM GMT
    no.

    true love, as i have said many times here over the years, is putting up with someone at his worst, letting him see you at yours, and deciding that there is still a strong enough bond to get past the WORST, not the best. and that, in and of itself, will lead to dysfunction, so there has to be more than a little constant stream of good to keep the bad from becoming overwhelming.

    and how are you going to know any of this by looking at a person? i believe in lust at first sight. there's nothing wrong with that: initial attraction is often needed to spur the rest into motion. however, i do not believe that the thunderbolt itself is love. i believe it is an intense call to action, but love (biologically speaking) grows within the brain in time. there are people who had an intense connection initially, and their affection remained and grew deeper... but they weren't in love from the first moment. that isn't possible.

    what you have described is infatuation and/or desire (eros). but there is the need for mutual affection (anteros), or else there is no long term reciprocity.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidno.

    true love, as i have said many times here over the years, is putting up with someone at his worst, letting him see you at yours, and deciding that there is still a strong enough bond to get past the WORST, not the best. and that, in and of itself, will lead to dysfunction, so there has to be more than a little constant stream of good to keep the bad from becoming overwhelming.

    and how are you going to know any of this by looking at a person? i believe in lust at first sight. there's nothing wrong with that: initial attraction is often needed to spur the rest into motion. however, i do not believe that the thunderbolt itself is love. i believe it is an intense call to action, but love (biologically speaking) grows within the brain in time. there are people who had an intense connection initially, and their affection remained and grew deeper... but they weren't in love from the first moment. that isn't possible.

    what you have described is infatuation and/or desire (eros). but there is the need for mutual affection (anteros), or else there is no long term reciprocity.


    He said, Mm!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 4:19 PM GMT
    Friendliness, lust, and infatuation are three different feelings. At first sight it could be any one of the three. Love could come from either of the three also, for some people it comes from friendship, for some it comes from sex, for some it comes from infatuation, after time. Infatuation is a kind of "prediction" of love. You'll confirm after getting to know that person whether this prediction is correct or not.

    "The one" doesn't exist. There could be many that's good for you if you're open to it, or there could be none if you're looking for the impossible fantasy "prince". Believing in the "the one" is not a necessarily a bad thing, it helps you resist temptations of lust. However, the "one" can easily be the "zero" if you ratchet up your expectations a notch.

    A realistic lover doesn't wait around for the "one" to come. He plays the field (cautiously) to gain an idea about what's available out there and what's attainable. The experience also improves his own marketability to "the one" when he comes around. 12 year old girls may have an idea of what she wants, but she isn't good enough herself to be a strong contender for it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 5:46 PM GMT
    Love is a blind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2010 5:47 PM GMT
    Fuck sake.

    Love is blind. Not love is a blind!