My mom is driving me crazy.

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    Aug 02, 2010 2:17 AM GMT
    So I've been trying to get in better shape recently and my family knows that. I have been eating much more healthily and I've been running more/hitting up the gym. However, even though my mother acts supportive, she's constantly trying to get me to eat unhealthily. Every day I hear "hey I'm going to get some pizza, want any?" or "I bought ice cream, it's in the fridge" or "let's go out for mexican food tonight", etc, etc, etc and every time I tell her NO, thank you but it doesn't seem to get through to her and it's infuriating. Does she not care at all about my fitness goals? I don't think that would be the case, but then what the fuck?

    Ugh...rant over.
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    Aug 02, 2010 2:22 AM GMT
    Find a way of having meals with your mother, even if you have to eat different foods. Having meals together is very important in families.
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    Aug 02, 2010 2:32 AM GMT
    viveutvivas saidFind a way of having meals with your mother, even if you have to eat different foods. Having meals together is very important in families.


    I think you missed the point of this thread entirely... icon_rolleyes.gif I never said I didn't eat meals with my mother.
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    Aug 02, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    Inoshishi724 saidSo I've been trying to get in better shape recently and my family knows that. I have been eating much more healthily and I've been running more/hitting up the gym. However, even though my mother acts supportive, she's constantly trying to get me to eat unhealthily. Every day I hear "hey I'm going to get some pizza, want any?" or "I bought ice cream, it's in the fridge" or "let's go out for mexican food tonight", etc, etc, etc and every time I tell her NO, thank you but it doesn't seem to get through to her and it's infuriating. Does she not care at all about my fitness goals? I don't think that would be the case, but then what the fuck?

    Ugh...rant over.

    Well, at least she accepts your "noes." Since you cant control her behavior, just let it go. Try to mentally conceptualize her offers as dear old mom's clueless offers and laugh them off. If she is close enough at the time, just give her a kiss on the forehead and say, no thanks mom.

    Also realize that at 19, the frontal lobes of your brain arent fully developed and you will be prone to anger.
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    Aug 02, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    Caslon15000 said
    Well, at least she accepts your "noes." Since you cant control her behavior, just let it go. Try to mentally conceptualize her offers as dear old mom's clueless offers and laugh them off. If she is close enough at the time, just give her a kiss on the forehead and say, no thanks mom.

    Also realize that at 19, the frontal lobes of your brain arent fully developed and you will be prone to anger.


    I think you're missing the point as well. If she really were supportive of my decision to be healthier, she would instead be saying things like "hey, let's go grab a salad for lunch" or "hey I bought some fresh fruit, they're in the fridge" instead of "hey let's get pizza" or "hey I just bought some ice cream, it's in the fridge." And your advice makes no sense, so you just let EVERYTHING other people do go simply because you can't control their behavior? This actually has an adverse affect on my new lifestyle as it's already hard enough to fight temptation to eat poorly without someone consistently pushing your will power. Imagine if a recovering alcoholic constantly had someone is his life saying "hey, wanna go to the bar later?" or "Imma go to the liquor store, want anything?"


    Caslon15000Also realize that at 19, the frontal lobes of your brain arent fully developed and you will be prone to anger.


    This sounds pseudo-scientific at best, and it's mildly insulting.
  • lmy2010

    Posts: 17

    Aug 02, 2010 4:41 AM GMT
    Dude, what do you want these people to say? Oh your mom is a total bitch, how dare she undermine your attempts like this! No, it's nice of your mother to invite you to go get pizza or let you know there is Ice Cream in the fridge. You getting better isn't your mother's responsibility, now that you're an adult it's all on you. In responding to your Alcoholic Metaphor, as someone who has quit smoking in the past month, I can't tell you how many times people have offered me cigarettes, either people who know i've quit and forgot or people who don't know yet. But I don't get pissed off and wonder if they're trying to subvert my attempts to quit smoking, I realize they're just being generous (especially with cigarettes over 7 dollars a pack here) and politely decline their offer, sometimes explaining that i'm quitting, sometimes not. I think you're drawing all the references to being young and prone to anger because of the dissmissive way you're responding to the people who are trying to help you with this rather inane topic...
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    Aug 02, 2010 7:30 AM GMT
    Grow the balls to stand up to your mother and tell her you're not going to eat it...regardless of how much she begs.
    It took a few years, but my mom now knows not to cook for me or offer me anything unless it's fresh from her garden...uncooked (because she uses shitloads of oils and butter and salty seasonings to cook otherwise healthy stuff).
    She's also gotten used to the fact that I will associate around a family dinner, then go out to eat somewhere somewhat healthy after everyone else is done. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 02, 2010 10:22 AM GMT
    I just read your post.

    Your Mom is either stuck in her pattern and unwilling to change it or is just being a total bitch. Mine was/is still the same. So now I just ignore her and eat what I want and she can do whatever the hell she wants.

    I have come to realise that some people are stuck in their patterns and its not up to you to change it. You can only take care of yourself

    icon_smile.gif

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    Aug 02, 2010 10:59 AM GMT
    Moms will be moms. She knows you are serious but at the same time feels that its ok to swerve sometimes. Let her know firmly how this makes you feel, she will understand.
    Whenever am home my mom keeps feeding me till am filled upto my throat because according to her am way too thin. Its just the way mothers see, maybe your mom thinks you are loosing a lot of weight and she just wants you to not change.
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    Aug 02, 2010 11:05 AM GMT
    asnextdoor saidMoms will be moms. She knows you are serious but at the same time feels that its ok to swerve sometimes. Let her know firmly how this makes you feel, she will understand.
    Whenever am home my mom keeps feeding me till am filled upto my throat because according to her am way too thin. Its just the way mothers see, maybe your mom thinks you are loosing a lot of weight and she just wants you to not change.


    I definety agree. Your mom probably doesn't have I'll intentions she's just following a motherly instinct. You'll have to control your temper and keep saying no.

    Consider yourself lucky she offers food. I've been told by my folks plent if times go buy your food or make it yourself. Lol
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    Aug 02, 2010 11:34 AM GMT
    She still thinks you're 5 and wants to give you sweets. It's cute. Don't get mad about it, be happy you have a mom who wants to spoil you.

    Just tell her you can't have it all the time. That's what I do.
  • helios01

    Posts: 349

    Aug 04, 2010 10:58 AM GMT
    Inoshishi724 saidSo I've been trying to get in better shape recently and my family knows that. I have been eating much more healthily and I've been running more/hitting up the gym. However, even though my mother acts supportive, she's constantly trying to get me to eat unhealthily. Every day I hear "hey I'm going to get some pizza, want any?" or "I bought ice cream, it's in the fridge" or "let's go out for mexican food tonight", etc, etc, etc and every time I tell her NO, thank you but it doesn't seem to get through to her and it's infuriating. Does she not care at all about my fitness goals? I don't think that would be the case, but then what the fuck?

    Ugh...rant over.


    actually i have that same problem.
    xcept mine uses guilt to get me to eat her food icon_neutral.gif
    that and her food is so good icon_smile.gif

    but its her food that usually throws me off me wagon.
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    Aug 04, 2010 2:44 PM GMT
    Listen, Dude

    Paul had the best advice ever--Grow the balls. . . I love my parents and I feel honored that I still have them, but there is this strange dynamic between parents and their children--deep down they want to keep you around the house with them forever. Consiously or subconsiously, some of them will do whatever it takes--fatten you up, sabotage your relationships, give bad career advice, etc.

    I can still remember my mother yelling at this pudgy, prepubescent boy because I wouldn't eat a second enormous plate of spaghetti covered in greasy red sauce. I was too smart for them, but they got my brother who is 11 years younger--he weighs well north of 300 pounds now. They had him around through most of his 30s and 40s, but he actually met a great woman who would put up with all of this. Naturally, my parents went after her with guns blazing and (for a while) put a stop to it. It took a lot of somber talk on my part to get him to see what was happening. Now they live together and they are raising his son and her daughter between them.

    I also recall the struggle between a friend and her Hungarian (think goulash) mother. Her mother always plated her food with enormous helpings--my friend wasn't allowed to make up a plate for herself even though she was grown and holding down a job. Every night, this friend would have to stand up from the table before she took a single bite, walk around to the stove and put half of everything back in the pot!

    Listen to Paul--Grow the balls. . .
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    Aug 04, 2010 3:02 PM GMT
    Be blessed that you have a mother still around.

    My mom does the same thing when I am back there. I just reinforced that i like certain things, and guess what. She would buy that stuff for when I would visit. It was really sweet of her.

    You can go get italian with her. She can have pizza, and you can have the garbanzo salad. Spending time with her is what she wants.

    Be a son.
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    Aug 04, 2010 3:15 PM GMT
    hahah my mom is a professional baker. she does wedding cakes and stuff like that. the bakery is attache dto our house... i still blame her for being 280lbs in middle school. but yeah. its tough. u jsut gotta over come it. the best way to do it is to already be prepared.
    "you want some pizza/cake/ice cream?"
    "oh no thanks already have a salad/smoothie"
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    Aug 04, 2010 3:23 PM GMT
    God, How much I missed her. My mother always drove me crazy about food and my personal life but I never argued with her. I would go tell her sibling or my grandmother about her because she pissed me off.icon_lol.gif. They would tell her back off. I am just like her
  • CMScarBro

    Posts: 60

    Aug 05, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    [quote]
    I think you're missing the point as well. If she really were supportive of my decision to be healthier, she would instead be saying things like "hey, let's go grab a salad for lunch" or "hey I bought some fresh fruit, they're in the fridge" instead of "hey let's get pizza" or "hey I just bought some ice cream, it's in the fridge."
    [/quote]



    You can't expect her to completely change her routines and dieting habits simply for you. But if you have a problem with her offering these unhealthy foods, you could just sit her down and tell her straight up that you're trying to make these changes, and it'd be helpful to you if she didn't always offer pizza or ice cream. Try suggesting to her what you just suggested to the guy above. But don't expect her to always want to eat healthy simply because it's what you're doing.
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    Aug 05, 2010 1:57 AM GMT
    I go through the same shit... but I reject all the evil voices tempting me to eat unhealthy. I think family might act that way becasue 1 they eat unhealthy, 2 they might be jealous that you're actually getting healthier, 3 they're testing you because they don't think you can do it. Tell them all to fuck off!
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    Aug 05, 2010 1:59 AM GMT
    Thanks for the offer, I'll grab something later, Im going for a workout.
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    Aug 05, 2010 2:00 AM GMT
    my mom is the same way.. its partially because she raised you and she knows that the stuff that are sugary and tasty made you happy so she likes to do things that she knows as a child u loved. she means no hard.. Moms sometimes have a difficulty taking their sons seriously because they have seen you peepee----

    Just really show her u mean busy and she will take you seriously... go shopping with her and act like it really bothers you when you are not eating healthy

    I t was like that with my mom but she changed now.. even now she is eating healthy with me.
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    Aug 05, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    Sony150 saidyo son, ur moms a hoe. i think u gotta find urself a buddy.. like a diet buddy.. your goals will be easier to manage if you have someone supportive because people around you that say they 'support' you and through their actions, they don't, make it that much more harder so, u gotta do what u gotta do.. detach homey.


    hold up son! why r you calling mom dukes a hoe...?
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    Aug 05, 2010 2:16 AM GMT
    MrNomore saidmy mom is the same way.. its partially because she raised you and she knows that the stuff that are sugary and tasty made you happy so she likes to do things that she knows as a child u loved. she means no hard.. Moms sometimes have a difficulty taking their sons seriously because they have seen you peepee----

    Just really show her u mean busy and she will take you seriously... go shopping with her and act like it really bothers you when you are not eating healthy

    I t was like that with my mom but she changed now.. even now she is eating healthy with me.


    My mom would give your some flan, tostonies y arroz con pollo and still give you more if you hadn't had enough. She believe "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" icon_razz.gif