Racism in the LGBT Community

  • ARunnerSpirit

    Posts: 7

    Aug 03, 2010 5:35 PM GMT
    I feel like I'm Whoopi on "The View!" This is a real hot topic because it happens everyday and whether people see it or not, it's kinda fucked up.

    Being a resident of West Hollywood, I truly feel that it is my home. I love the unity between my fellow LGBT community and straight allies. I truly thought the LGBT community was truly united but I was proven wrong many of times.

    Most of the gay men in West Hollywood are white. I have many diverse friends but what I think is sad would be the gay men who do not want to leave their comfort zone when it comes to meeting other people outside of their race. I just befriended a wonderful guy, who is white, and he took me out to lunch and said to me "you are the first black friend I've ever had." I asked "what took you so long!?" in a joking way. And for a moment, he paused and he said to me in a shameful matter, "I really don't know."

    I truly felt that he didn't mean any harm in what he said and he meant it from his heart. On the other hand, there are men who share no interest in being with someone that is different from them...whether it's dates, relationships, or just platonic. Whether it's going to a "white party" (get it?! White party...ok nvm) and you are the only person of color. Or going to a party with a friend of color and you are the only white person maybe. We see it everyday online and in ads. "Masculine White Guy only into Masculine White Men 23-30 ONLY" or "Strong Black Brotha into Lean Black Brothas." Of course, we get the occasional diss on your race "No Latinos, No Asians, sorry just not into them" or "No Blacks. Not racist, just not into them." I understand attraction is attraction but come on, guys...really?

    What type of perception do people see from the gay male community. I hope it's not the whole opening scene from "Sex and The City 2." I really think it's funny that the director only showed 2 people of color at the bar scene with Samantha. Actually they were the only ones in the wedding scene. Now you boys, before you get fired up, don't try to count the 20 really tan white guys. They don't count icon_smile.gif

    That being said, for those who were raised up in communities within their race, do you think ignorance is bliss for those who have good hearts but never took the "time" to get to know someone is outside of their race, in a platonic way or do you think they are downright boneheads for being so absorb and insecure within themselves so they feel the need to be around those who are just like them, physically, emotionally, and monetary wise.

    I know I might sound like a bitter person, but hey, I just want answers and your opinion. As an activist, I am one pissed off dude because we are supposed to be about love and acceptance, and here we are, not acting on our image, and becoming the fucked up ones. As Whoopi would say on "The View"..."WHAT THE HELL!?!"

    J.T. Chestnut
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    Aug 03, 2010 5:40 PM GMT
    Your post made me think of this song and it's lyrics

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    Aug 03, 2010 5:52 PM GMT
    Admittedly I avoid meeting ghetto black guys, I have met a few in the past, but I often feel to uncomfortable as we usually don't have much in common. The ones I can relate to are all white-washed in some way, meaning they didn't come from the ghetto and grew up around white people.

    My best friend is black but she was "white-washed" from a young age as she always jokes around about. She was always living in middle-class suburb areas around white people so she doesn't have a personality from the ghetto, and doesn't at all relate to those from a rougher background.


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    Aug 03, 2010 6:14 PM GMT

    Now as far for how I feel......................
    Let me begin by telling you, your new around these neck of woods and this site is a microcosm of the wrld you experience. The answers you ask of come frm a place of a man who is open to the diversity of life experience some however are not. It does not really conflict me if some guy chooses to live his life w/out dating/befriending men of color. he has that rt, attraction is what it is but at the end of his journey if he has lived his life w/out love, alone and starving for companionship let it be said that anyone seeking partnership would cover all bases and to limit ones options based on something as stupid as melanin, etc.. is just decreasing his/her possibility of finding what it is they search. Some on this site will beat you like a dead horse for this topic as it's brought up many times by an assortment of ethnic members, who for the most part want to belong and find acceptance on a site that has a majority of white members. In time you will learn that it is a honor for anyone to invite you to share their life journey no matter how long as it tells you something about you, sets you apart frm all others, that is interesting enough to learn more and no bigger compliment can be given. As I've gotten older I've learned not everyone is gonna like me for many reasons. At times it's hard for me to relate to men of color as well as our life experience thus far have been polar opposites but my pride for myself my color and all people have taught me to make rm for all others and their experience, as life is too short to squabble over indifference which makes us uniquely the same. Unfortunately this is a struggle as a man and an identified gay man you will come in question with.
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    Aug 03, 2010 6:19 PM GMT
    Whoa saidAdmittedly I avoid meeting ghetto black guys, I have met a few in the past, but I often feel to uncomfortable as we usually don't have much in common. The ones I can relate to are all white-washed in some way, meaning they didn't come from the ghetto and grew up around white people.

    My best friend is black but she was "white-washed" from a young age as she always jokes around about. She was always living in middle-class suburb areas around white people so she doesn't have a personality from the ghetto, and doesn't at all relate to those from a rougher background.




    you have a right to hide who you are...making a profile just to reply to this thread. these are the kind of statements that influence who i actually try to not talk to. So if a black person speaks properly..and have gained the value of a education then it must be that they are whitewashed??? Your comment implied that it cannot be possible that black individuals can carry a little class or etiquette with them. or be enlightened with current affairs? .they all must be of the ghetto and carry such mentality. I.E that is what you see demonstrated in rap videos etc.....as not all of us behave that way as i have many friends from the ghetto who were raised with class. Your fucking ignorant. Well let me be the first to explain to you that even the ghetto produce highly intelligent individuals with goals who might even look down on you solely because of the backward thinking you have. It Baffles me how individuals think in this shitty country. I cant tell you how many times ive started a convo with individuals when im out at a party with friends..and its always a white individual that makes the silly statement.." wow your really intelligent, and speak so properly". And im not kidding...i have been convinced this is how their majority view any other race...incapable of being smart and educated ( REALJOCK has some members who believe this as well) and it so disgust me to the point i only socialize with individuals who can relate with my own upbringing.
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    Aug 03, 2010 6:24 PM GMT
    Whoa saidAdmittedly I avoid meeting ghetto black guys, I have met a few in the past, but I often feel to uncomfortable as we usually don't have much in common. The ones I can relate to are all white-washed in some way, meaning they didn't come from the ghetto and grew up around white people.

    My best friend is black but she was "white-washed" from a young age as she always jokes around about. She was always living in middle-class suburb areas around white people so she doesn't have a personality from the ghetto, and doesn't at all relate to those from a rougher background.




    Your use of white wash is offensive and ignorant and your blk gf is as well. I grew up in one of the most affluent communitys in Long Island. The core/foundation of who I am is due to my parents and not our white neighbors. I'm sure ghetto blk guys don't have much in common w/ silhouettes either so I guess they should feel just as lucky. Not to mention I know more white guys that grew up in the lap of luxury and who relate more to urban city "ghetto" culture than they do w/ other friends who live dwn the street. I won't deny that your social settings have a direct influence to your personality but saying this chick is white washed is just another way of demoting the value of inner city and raising the value of suburbia and we all know shit stinks everywhere.
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    Aug 03, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    I think the concept of a White Party in the gay community started with Truman Capote, and his famous 1966 Black and White Ball. At which minorities were well represented, and at every subsequent iteration of that concept I have ever attended.

    The White of course refers to the clothing, not the skin. And I also attend functions where the men are all wearing formal black (as in my photo), and many of the women, too. I fail to see a connection between the color of clothing and race.

    On the contrary, in our gay community here I see any number of bi-racial couples, and no one gives it a second though. At least my partner & I don't, and I've never heard one of our friends make a disparaging remark in that regard.

    Perhaps in other parts of the gay community that may not happen, and racial prejudice may indeed exist. I don't know, I don't go everywhere. But to my experience, gays are the most open & accepting people I have ever encountered. If we have any racial prejudice, I would assume it's less than in the general straight population.

    I'm sorry that you have a negative view on this, and in Los Angeles, too, which I would have thought is not a problem area. Be assured, my partner & I don't feel that way, nor our friends, including, obviously, the bi-racial couples who are also our friends. (Ya know, I had to question myself about the spelling of that term, if it's correct, because I don't even THINK about bi-racial. A couple is a couple, and I don't put labels on them)
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    Aug 03, 2010 6:29 PM GMT
    I blame American culture.




    The fact that it ends with Heidi Montag...is disgusting..
  • HOTWEILLER

    Posts: 347

    Aug 03, 2010 6:40 PM GMT
    This happens everywhere....
    I am black and i AVOID to go out with Black/brown guys.
    I just don`t feel attraction for them but it`s not Racism. Get a life, everybody has preferences....
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    Aug 03, 2010 6:50 PM GMT
    WRESTLINGGUY saidThis happens everywhere....
    I am black and i AVOID to go out with Black/brown guys.
    I just don`t feel attraction for them but it`s not Racism. Get a life, everybody has preferences....


    the original poster was talking about platonic socialization...and how people personally segregate themselves. He wasn't really talking about love interest etc..and for you to state this then you have issues or you possibly hate yourself....which is also a issue within the gay community.
  • HOTWEILLER

    Posts: 347

    Aug 03, 2010 7:03 PM GMT
    tereseus1 said
    WRESTLINGGUY saidThis happens everywhere....
    I am black and i AVOID to go out with Black/brown guys.
    I just don`t feel attraction for them but it`s not Racism. Get a life, everybody has preferences....


    the original poster was talking about platonic socialization...and how people personally segregate themselves. He wasn't really talking about love interest etc..and for you to state this then you have issues or you possibly hate yourself....which is also a issue within the gay community.


    Yes, i hate myself and i will kill me in 2 seconds. Bye bye./BLAAAH


    This part cathed my attention:

    ARunnerSpiritMost of the gay men in West Hollywood are white. I have many diverse friends but what I think is sad would be the gay men who do not want to leave their comfort zone when it comes to meeting other people outside of their race.


    We have preferences for everything, not only for love and i really don`t think anything he said can be understood as racism. But anyway, wish u the best.
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    Aug 03, 2010 7:06 PM GMT
    WRESTLINGGUY saidThis happens everywhere....
    I am black and i AVOID to go out with Black/brown guys.
    I just don`t feel attraction for them but it`s not Racism. Get a life, everybody has preferences....



    So basically your not attracted to your own image. What rock do you maggots crawl frm under. as far as telling him to get a life.... I'd advise you to do the same. I can see why your not attracted to men of color because any self assured confident man would never pursue any intrest in such vile ignorance.
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    Aug 03, 2010 7:07 PM GMT
    WRESTLINGGUY said
    tereseus1 said
    WRESTLINGGUY saidThis happens everywhere....
    I am black and i AVOID to go out with Black/brown guys.
    I just don`t feel attraction for them but it`s not Racism. Get a life, everybody has preferences....


    the original poster was talking about platonic socialization...and how people personally segregate themselves. He wasn't really talking about love interest etc..and for you to state this then you have issues or you possibly hate yourself....which is also a issue within the gay community.


    Yes, i hate myself and i will kill me in 2 seconds. Bye bye./BLAAAH


    This part cathed my attention:

    ARunnerSpiritMost of the gay men in West Hollywood are white. I have many diverse friends but what I think is sad would be the gay men who do not want to leave their comfort zone when it comes to meeting other people outside of their race.


    We have preferences for everything, not only for love and i really don`t think anything he said can be understood as racism. But anyway, wish u the best.


    I feel you are having a hard time understanding this concept...
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    Aug 03, 2010 7:09 PM GMT
    I think's all about being white or looking white I saw a Craig's List post not long ago and I was lol'ing cuz it was so stupid, the poster said Only white guys- and americanized latinos that look white are okay too, I was fuming lmaoicon_evil.gif There was also a white guy who contacted me on a4a (when I had an account) and I said I wasn't interested in hooking up and then he said you spic go back to Mexico and I was LMAO u wanted to hook up and now cuz I said no you insult me icon_lol.gif
  • HOTWEILLER

    Posts: 347

    Aug 03, 2010 7:12 PM GMT
    ahhh if you didn`t like what i posted, keep it to yourself. I REPLIED HIM not you.

    I just like to look in the mirror the Black & White Contrast.... Why for u everything is racism, c'mon... Anyway, I will not lose my time trying to explain a sexual preference that doesn`t make of me a racist, since i have a thousand black friends and they always understood it but if you understand me this way, i just don`t care, i pay my bills, bitches,.

    Kisses.
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    Aug 03, 2010 7:15 PM GMT
    WRESTLINGGUY said
    tereseus1 said
    WRESTLINGGUY saidThis happens everywhere....
    I am black and i AVOID to go out with Black/brown guys.
    I just don`t feel attraction for them but it`s not Racism. Get a life, everybody has preferences....


    the original poster was talking about platonic socialization...and how people personally segregate themselves. He wasn't really talking about love interest etc..and for you to state this then you have issues or you possibly hate yourself....which is also a issue within the gay community.


    Yes, i hate myself and i will kill me in 2 seconds. Bye bye./BLAAAH


    This part cathed my attention:

    ARunnerSpiritMost of the gay men in West Hollywood are white. I have many diverse friends but what I think is sad would be the gay men who do not want to leave their comfort zone when it comes to meeting other people outside of their race.


    We have preferences for everything, not only for love and i really don`t think anything he said can be understood as racism. But anyway, wish u the best.




    Idiot we all have preferences and are preferences are usually stemmed thru life experiences or non-experience. One obviously is an educated choice and the other is not. I hope you don't hold your self to some caliber as if to say your time or presence is more valuable to share with those who share your complexion. It wreaks of JACKASS! .
  • HOTWEILLER

    Posts: 347

    Aug 03, 2010 7:19 PM GMT
    DoomsDayAlpac...I feel you are having a hard time understanding this concept...


    Don`t think so, but anyway if i seemed rude or racist for expressing a thought of mine i`m sorry.

    Someone said....Idiot we all have preferences and are preferences are usually stemmed thru life experiences or non-experience. One obviously is an educated choice and the other is not. I hope you don't hold your self to some caliber as if to say your time or presence is more valuable to share with those who share your complexion. It wreaks of JACKASS!


    You don`t have the right to say what you said. I was just expressing a thought of mine, if you didn`t like, i`m really sorry, i always respected everybody here and always seeked for the same. If my post seemed disrespectful i ask all the members to disregard it. It was not my intention.

    Now can you leave me alone? I really don`t want to ''fight'' with anyone here just because maybe a wrong post in a wrong place.
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    Aug 03, 2010 7:19 PM GMT
    WRESTLINGGUY saidahhh if you didn`t like what i posted, keep it to yourself. I REPLIED HIM not you.

    I just like to look in the mirror the Black & White Contrast.... Why for u everything is racism, c'mon... Anyway, I will not lose my time trying to explain a sexual preference that doesn`t make of me a racist, since i have a thousand black friends and they always understood it but if you understand me this way, i just don`t care, i pay my bills, bitches,.

    Kisses.



    The same can be said to you. If you didn't like the OP you need not respond.
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    Aug 03, 2010 7:33 PM GMT
    What absolute ignorance I read in some of these posts. A couple of my stories:

    In 1970 my best friend in the Army was a Black soldier. He was bright, articulate, every bit my intellectual equal. And if somebody is THAT smart, I try to befriend him or her, because they are few and far between. And with that little display of egotism, I will continue --

    So we'd go out to restaurants together, and in 1970 Kentucky (around Ft. Knox) the sight of a White guy with a Black guy sitting down to dine together got all kinds of stares and pointed fingers. Like it bothered me?

    About the same time, an incident occurred back at our Company Orderly Room. A soldier came in looking for a certain Sergeant by name. I said I thought he was down in the Motor Pool at the moment. He asked what he looked like, and I described him, his height and build, and his mustache.

    And he said: "Oh, he's that Black Sergeant, right?"

    And I couldn't answer him, because I couldn't remember his skin color! Honestly! I had his face in my mind, I could describe him exactly, but his skin color wasn't something important enough for me to remember. Yet I had even been to his house, being a Sergeant myself at that time, sitting down at table with his wife & kids.

    And so this other soldier sorta looked at me crooked, like, "You don't know this guy at all, right? You gotta know if he's Black or not."

    I carry that memory with me to this day, obviously, of what it means to have no concern about race or skin color. You are not your skin to me, whatever color or condition, you are the person inside that skin. I was taught that by my parents (interestingly, staunch Republicans in their day) before most of you were born. And my experience is that most of the gay community in which I live feels the same way.
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    Aug 03, 2010 7:41 PM GMT
    WRESTLINGGUY said
    DoomsDayAlpac...I feel you are having a hard time understanding this concept...


    Don`t think so, but anyway if i seemed rude or racist for expressing a thought of mine i`m sorry.

    Someone said....Idiot we all have preferences and are preferences are usually stemmed thru life experiences or non-experience. One obviously is an educated choice and the other is not. I hope you don't hold your self to some caliber as if to say your time or presence is more valuable to share with those who share your complexion. It wreaks of JACKASS!


    You don`t have the right to say what you said. I was just expressing a thought of mine, if you didn`t like, i`m really sorry, i always respected everybody here and always seeked for the same. If my post seemed disrespectful i ask all the members to disregard it. It was not my intention.

    Now can you leave me alone? I really don`t want to ''fight'' with anyone here just because maybe a wrong post in a wrong place.


    The someone said, happens to be me and if you don't feel like tit for tat I'd advise you to keep your testosterone to a minium. You tellin the OP to get a life set the tone bro. Think before you type.
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    Aug 03, 2010 10:40 PM GMT
    This issue is not exclusive to the gay world. It exists in the straight world too. However, I'd have to say that this issue is more extreme/obvious in the gay world because a male friendship could potentially turn into a romantic relationship. So when some/most gay guys decide who they want to be friends with, they're actually pre-selecting their next possible boyfriend.
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Aug 03, 2010 10:50 PM GMT
    truth be told, i dont have any black friends, why? because there are hardly any in my City and if there are i just havent met them...
    now the same applies to Oriental people, I dont have any oriental friends...
    Asians (i.e. Indian/Pakistan) I know a handlful
    I just know 4 other latinos and the rest of my friends are white.
    It doesnt matter, it's just who you find common ground with and who you decide to include in your circle of friends...
    On the same token, i only have 2 protestant friend, is just the way your circle of friends shapes up...nothing to do with being racist or being a bigot...
    on another issue: i dont have any gay friends, just one i could class as a close acquaintance, so dont over think it...
  • MisterT

    Posts: 1272

    Aug 03, 2010 10:56 PM GMT
    Ok, this is not a new topic, I've see it a number of times. There is an issue of rascism sometimes, but a lot of time people stating their preferences are being mistaken as racism.

    People need to just move on when they run into bigots, they aren't worth the time, there are plenty of guys out there who aren't bigots.

    On that note, I have dated White, Latino and Asian, never a black guy, not because I wouldn't, I just haven't met any black guys whom I was interested in beyond friendship. I know I'm not politically correct, and I'm sorry if i offended anyone.
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    Aug 03, 2010 11:03 PM GMT
    Everyone is different, a truly 'colorblind' person is almost non-existent. Racism falls under free speech. I personally don't discriminate, but if someone does, it's totally up to them and completely within their rights. If you don't like it, it's within your rights to avoid them... not everybody has to be friends with everyone else.

    And for that matter, why would you expect the LGBT community to behave differently on this than our straight brethren?

    Who are we to question someone else's personal thoughts and feelings?
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    Aug 03, 2010 11:30 PM GMT
    Progress saidEveryone is different, a truly 'colorblind' person is almost non-existent.


    All I see is black, white, and red.