Advice when there is none.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2008 12:07 PM GMT
    Well, some of my friends seem to like to ask me advice on topics that I have absoultly NO clue on sometimes and am usually left trying to help them haveing no prior knowledge on the subject. I have been asked for relationship advice (I'm the ONLY one of my buds to never have one yet), about problems with their cars (I know where to put the gas,oil, and washer fluid), and the funniest one was about healthy eating (this is prior to ACTUALLY getting into the healthy(er) lifestyle).

    Has anyone ever asked you for advice on a subject that you were/felt TOTALLY unqualified for? HOw do you respond to questions like this?
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    Feb 16, 2008 12:53 PM GMT
    Yes sometimes from my best friend or my partner. I usually start out by saying, "I have not had much expereience in this area, but ...". People know me well enough not to ask advice about how to fix a car (god forbid), but I do get asked questions about relationships (some experience), office politics, etc..
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    Feb 16, 2008 3:11 PM GMT
    Chuckle - usually its a 'friend' who thinks because I am gay I should be able to help with fashion advice or decorating their house or...

    Usually I tell them that GSO (Gay Services Organization) hasn't certified me for that yet.

    On a few occasions I have actually given them the advice requested.

    Strangely, they never seem to ask twice. icon_lol.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 16, 2008 4:42 PM GMT
    Depends on the situation, really.

    I tend to be a 'fixer'. It's my job to schedule, coordinate and try to find a way to get things done, and it tends to spill over into my personal life. I've been working very hard to not be like that, though. I think a lot of the time when someone is asking for advice, they really don't want it. They just want someone to listen to them.
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    Feb 16, 2008 4:51 PM GMT

    because I am so...trustworthy.....I get this a lot. The answer is simple, just make something that sounds good up.
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    Feb 16, 2008 4:54 PM GMT
    You know where the oil goes??? ... icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 16, 2008 5:05 PM GMT
    Just fake it. Or be profoundly vague. Or do like me, and tell them "I give opinions, baby, not advice. Google, you slack bastard."

  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Feb 16, 2008 6:48 PM GMT
    I've randomly been asked where things are in Target. It's kinda odd, cause i purposely dont wear red when i go there. I just assume it's cause i look helpful.
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    Feb 17, 2008 4:14 AM GMT
    When people ask me questions that I am obviously not qualified to answer I take it as a stupid question. Like "when is your period?" or "How do I fly a plane?" or "when should I let the kid ot of the cage?" When that happens I give them stupid answers and I make it as believable as possible.

    A good example would be when a friend and I took a small road trip from Seattle to California. I told him we would split the cost. I told him he will pay for the gas going down and I will pay for the gas going up to Seattle. As a joke I said "that way you don't have to pay as much." My friend, who I never would classify as intelligent, said "Really, is that true?" I thought it was one of the dumbest questions I ever heard so I said "Well think about it George. Seattle is north on a globe and California is south. Gravity pulls you downward. So you can coast a lot more on the way to California. When you coast you don't use as much gas. So when we drive up, I will be paying for the trip going up and against gravity." He actually believed me. I think it is because I sounded convincing. About a month ago, I think he figured it out. He was mad at me for no reason and he never told me why. I am not sure if he was angry about that scam or one of the other during our long friendship.

    We are fine now.
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Feb 17, 2008 5:08 AM GMT
    I was once asked " How do you use a strap on?" AS IF!!!!!!!!!
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    Feb 17, 2008 5:46 AM GMT
    Let them know you're not an expert. Then give them your opinion. Then give them the some direction on who to talk to who might know better.

    If your not a drag queen, and they ask you about make-up, suggest lots of blue eye liner, then direct them to a drag queen, who can better advise.



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    Feb 17, 2008 5:56 AM GMT
    Freakyninjamonkey saidHOw do you respond to questions like this?
    Well normally I would say consult the I Ching, but in a pinch consulting the magic 8 ball will do the trick.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2008 6:08 AM GMT
    Psychotherapy has developed an entire language for this situation.

    Just look concerned and utter these phrases now and then:

    "Can you say more about that?"

    "And how does that make you feel?"

    "I can see how you'd feel that way."

    "Does this remind you of something that's happened before?"

    "You don't have to hold back your feelings here."

    "What would you like to see happen with this?"

    "Well our time is up. That will be $150, please."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2008 6:50 AM GMT
    obscenewish saidPsychotherapy has developed an entire language for this situation. ...
    Doc, you really should market this in the form of a new magic 8ball for professionals. Maybe come up with a new name for it or another object that would hold the message.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2008 10:13 AM GMT
    Just make one up!

    Experience doesn't really help anyway. icon_razz.gif All they want is another person's view of the situation or even just someone to listen to their problems. Don't sweat it.

    However...

    One of my friends had an American classmate in college in Cebu city (he was studying to be a medtech), and one day he found him (the american guy) looking troubled in a branch of McDonald's. He asked what the problem was.

    The guy replied that his grades were failing and that he didn't know what to do (the guy was traveling around the world, I think, since my friend mentioned that he had also been to Russia and Mexico before and studied in universities there too).

    My friend advised him to take a crash course in medicine.

    2 weeks later, the american guy dropped out of the MedTech course and took a crash course! LOL

    What my friend meant was for him to take a crash course during the summer, NOT right away.

    So beware of the advice you give. Make sure it's harmless, and be ready to deny ever giving it! LMAO
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2008 5:33 PM GMT
    kRakaJak saidsince this is a topic about advice when there is none i thought i'd leave no advice. you can quote me on that.
    OK. here ya go
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2008 7:28 PM GMT
    Active and Fit: "Doc, you really should market this in the form of a new magic 8ball for professionals. Maybe come up with a new name for it or another object that would hold the message."

    There actually is a computer program that utters these phrases. Or there was about 8 years ago. I'm not sure if it's still around, but it was being marketed seriously.

    There was a famous study conducted in France some years ago. Cab drivers were taught the language of psychotherapy and their "clients" reported basically the same effects as the control group of "real" therapists. This was before the advent of cognitive-behavioral therapy, though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2008 7:02 PM GMT
    My female friends ask for fashion advice all the time. The last time I was asked about matching shoes and belts and bags, I said you don't have to cooridnate them. No one believed me at the time and now it's all the rage!
    My girlfriends don't take me shopping anymore cause when I get tired of looking at racks of womens clothing, I start telling them that everything they try on makes them look fat.

    They do learn eventually.
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    Apr 15, 2008 7:21 PM GMT
    Freakyninjamonkey said

    Has anyone ever asked you for advice on a subject that you were/felt TOTALLY unqualified for? HOw do you respond to questions like this?



    I think most of the people here would just play pretend and still offer "advice". If they can't.... they will quickly turn the topic into something else they are an "expert" on.

    for example.
    A thread starts that asks people for their favorite brand of underwear.
    Then about 25% of people will say they don't wear underwear at all and underwear is uncomfortable.
    Hmmm.. helpful.

    A thread starts asking people how to prepare tofu
    Post after post will say to throw it away or tofu is nasty etc.
    Again, no help to the poster of the question.

    Someone will make a post about wanting to meet other catholics..
    Then non catholics will tell him the church is ruing the world.

    A thread starts asking why you are vegetarian
    Post after post will say that vegetarianism isn't natural and they will go on about having McDonald's for lunch , some people are even nice enough to post a picture of hamburgers..
    Or they will tell you why they are not a vegetarian..

    or a thread will start asking your opinion of a tv show, cd, artist , country, sport etc.
    And you will always get a response from someone who has never been, heard, seen or done it...

    It is a high art on RJ to take a subject totally unrelated and make it all about you..
    Watch and learn... you will catch on soon enough.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2008 7:29 PM GMT
    This site's not about me ???? .... icon_eek.gif

    at 2731 postings (and counting) ...this site is ME! Hahahahahahaha! ... icon_lol.gif



    Great posting, btw, mnjock....very witty ... icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2008 7:35 PM GMT
    If I am asked a question about fashion for example, I will forward them to an RJ member who knows something about the topic (e.g. ShawnTO who wanted to be a designer at one time). I am totally clueless about fashion (ask my partner). To me fashion is wearing enough so I do not get arrested for indecent exposure.icon_redface.gif

    Some forum topics I never say anything about (e.g. supplements) because I never had any experience with them.

    I agree with MNjock2003 if all you are going to do is get on a soapbox and whine about the forum (e.g. wanting to know how to meet other catholics) then you are not being very helpful.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2008 8:25 PM GMT
    Caslon saidThis site's not about me ???? .... icon_eek.gif

    at 2731 postings (and counting) ...this site is ME! Hahahahahahaha! ... icon_lol.gif



    Great posting, btw, mnjock....very witty ... icon_biggrin.gif


    I'm getting there... icon_twisted.gif

    *points at his own postcount*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2008 8:29 PM GMT
    Its too bad we don't have someone who knows everything about the universe...

    I think he might have gotten kicked off.... icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2008 8:37 PM GMT
    DJBens77 saidIts too bad we don't have someone who knows everything about the universe...

    I think he might have gotten kicked off.... icon_twisted.gif


    Lord Chukalala? I wonder if he knew about...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2008 8:40 PM GMT
    HAHA, the only time I get asked advice is when someone's crazy mother / ex / friend did something more insane then normal. To which my reponse is usually "OMG! Srsly? No way!"

    Friend replies "I know! So, what should I do?"

    Me " I dunno, she's crazy! Just don't make any sudden moves, and hope it all just goes away."