(((NEED ADVICE, PLEASE !!!!!)))

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    Aug 04, 2010 12:37 AM GMT
    I don't know if it's the summer or the fact that I'll be graduating this year makes me wanna get back with my ex. We both go to the same school but he's two years senior. We met when I was a sophomore and he was about to graduate and go to med school which was right beside our undergrad school. He said he didn't have time for relationship and even stopped reponding to my texts. yeah very mature. He didn't even want to stay friends because he thought I might want something more. Never gave me closure, just left me hanging. It was difficult getting over him and I found myself thinking about him all the time first and only occasionally after. I sent him occasional texts like, Christmas, Thanksgiving and what not, just to keep in touch. All that time he never responded. At one point, last semester, my junior year, I was really lonely and horny so I sent him a text that we should hang out sometime. He lives a block from where I live. Only then, he replied that "we can meet up only if we both know that it is a hookup and nothing more". So dumb of me, I agreed and we hooked up once. I sent him some texts after saying how it was great to see him again and he said I promised him that it was only a hookup. It felt like brand new all over again. But, after many self-therapy sessions, I finally got over him and sent him a FINAL text saying that I needed to move on but i'm gonna miss him like a teenager love. (just a gist of it) I deleted his number from my phone and haven't really thought about it for a long time. Afterwards, met a great guy but unfortunately, it didn't last very long because he had to move to another state because of his job. For a couple of days, I have thinking about the first guy alot. I think that the fact that I'm only going to be here for one more year is startng to set in. I am thinking just going over to his place, knock on his door and say "Hey, look, I'm sorry about what had happened. I am only going to be here for one more year and I am not expecting a relationship out of this. I haven't hooked up anyone for a long time and I'd rather hook up with you, then some random person. what do you think?" Should I do it? or do I seem hypocritical? I was the one who sent him the final text saying I was moving on. On one side, I really want to get back with him again but also, I don't want him to think that I am a hypocrit. He had probably moved on just like I did. But, I don't know if he still think about the times we were together sometime. I know that he's not seeing anyone because med school is really tough so I won't be stealing anyone's bf. Has any of you gotten back with your ex and did he take you back? How did you do it? How did it work out? Has things changed even when you are together? Thanks any feedback.
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    Aug 04, 2010 2:07 AM GMT

    This sounds like a train wreck in process. You had closure don't re-hash shit you've walked thru.
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    Aug 04, 2010 2:41 AM GMT
    mmm I can't give u advice.. I think I would have done the SAME u've done icon_confused.gif I'm into something kinda similar and I don't know what to do neither! I hope u can get it over! Best wishes!
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    Aug 04, 2010 7:48 AM GMT


    Wow.icon_eek.gif

    I could have written this. Except for the whole college/med school thing.

    BEST ADVICE: DON'T DO IT FRENCHY!!

    He is obviously not thinking about you. Truth hurts, brother, believe me...I know. I have been exactly where you are.

    Be strong. I know you can't forget about him, but he obviously isn't right for you. Concentrate on the cute boys that aren't him. He didn't deserve you in the first place. Don't keep running back to him. You're going to start looking desperate and pathetic.

    Is that what you want??

    You have very strong feelings. You probably wear your heart on your sleeve. You're a hopeless romantic, aren't you?

    Never lose that.

    Trust me when I say it will get easier. Sounds like it's been awhile already, but you need to get your mind on other things (read: BOYS).
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    Aug 04, 2010 9:08 AM GMT
    Don't do it. he has definitely moved on.

    I agree that his silence speaks for itself. keeping sending messages and contacting him when theres no response, will only make him respect you even less, and worse, he's probably gotten more and more annoyed about it. so by now I'd say your chances are slim to none with this guy. Let him go....

    it sounds harsh, but I think I'm right. don't waste your energy on this guy and what will turn out to be a dissapointment for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2010 9:29 AM GMT
    there's a reason he's your ex icon_exclaim.gif
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    Aug 04, 2010 9:31 AM GMT
    capetownobs saidthere's a reason he's your ex icon_exclaim.gif


    AGREE!! MOVE THE F ON!!
    just saying icon_razz.gif lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2010 9:47 AM GMT
    Il n'y a rien d'├ęternel.
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    Aug 04, 2010 9:50 AM GMT
    Gay men suffer from Magical Thinking, as do some str8 women. They read into situations that are 180 degrees off.

    It's over

    Get a wax, hire a trainer..move on
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    Aug 04, 2010 11:06 AM GMT
    frenchatheart saidI don't know if it's the summer or the fact that I'll be graduating this year makes me wanna get back with my ex. We both go to the same school but he's two years senior. We met when I was a sophomore and he was about to graduate and go to med school which was right beside our undergrad school. He said he didn't have time for relationship and even stopped reponding to my texts. yeah very mature. He didn't even want to stay friends because he thought I might want something more. Never gave me closure, just left me hanging. It was difficult getting over him and I found myself thinking about him all the time first and only occasionally after. I sent him occasional texts like, Christmas, Thanksgiving and what not, just to keep in touch. All that time he never responded. At one point, last semester, my junior year, I was really lonely and horny so I sent him a text that we should hang out sometime. He lives a block from where I live. Only then, he replied that "we can meet up only if we both know that it is a hookup and nothing more". So dumb of me, I agreed and we hooked up once. I sent him some texts after saying how it was great to see him again and he said I promised him that it was only a hookup. It felt like brand new all over again. But, after many self-therapy sessions, I finally got over him and sent him a FINAL text saying that I needed to move on but i'm gonna miss him like a teenager love. (just a gist of it) I deleted his number from my phone and haven't really thought about it for a long time. Afterwards, met a great guy but unfortunately, it didn't last very long because he had to move to another state because of his job. For a couple of days, I have thinking about the first guy alot. I think that the fact that I'm only going to be here for one more year is startng to set in. I am thinking just going over to his place, knock on his door and say "Hey, look, I'm sorry about what had happened. I am only going to be here for one more year and I am not expecting a relationship out of this. I haven't hooked up anyone for a long time and I'd rather hook up with you, then some random person. what do you think?" Should I do it? or do I seem hypocritical? I was the one who sent him the final text saying I was moving on. On one side, I really want to get back with him again but also, I don't want him to think that I am a hypocrit. He had probably moved on just like I did. But, I don't know if he still think about the times we were together sometime. I know that he's not seeing anyone because med school is really tough so I won't be stealing anyone's bf. Has any of you gotten back with your ex and did he take you back? How did you do it? How did it work out? Has things changed even when you are together? Thanks any feedback.


    Mate, stay WELL away and keep your self respect intact.
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    Aug 04, 2010 11:42 AM GMT
    frenchatheart said"...I haven't hooked up anyone for a long time and I'd rather hook up with you, then some random person..." Should I do it?

    No. And reread your own words. It's your hormones talking.
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    Aug 04, 2010 11:51 AM GMT
    Wilton said
    frenchatheart said"...I haven't hooked up anyone for a long time and I'd rather hook up with you, then some random person..." Should I do it?

    No. And reread your own words. It's your hormones talking.
    that^^^
  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Aug 04, 2010 11:57 AM GMT
    i thought you said in the your text you moved on?!?
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    Aug 04, 2010 12:15 PM GMT
    Hillie said
    This sounds like a train wreck in process. You had closure don't re-hash shit you've walked thru.


    exactly. It's over, you need to find something else to think about to get your mind off him. Be strong and resist the urge to walk past is place. Your doing fine stay on track. Good luck to you.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 04, 2010 12:20 PM GMT
    You really need to move on. You need and deserve to find a guy you can love and really develop a connection...don't keep on rehashing the same theme.
    You both need to go on about your own business. Nothing wrong with holding the memories of your first guy..... but not healthy to continue to make it a priority in your life. Your future is......
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    Aug 04, 2010 1:54 PM GMT
    I went thru a similar situation whe I first came out, with a guy from work. We broke up three times and I could not get over him. He would call and we'd get back together. It was totally insane and ended up very badly. I finally had enough sense to break up with him for good and moved on and have been much happier. Like the song from Chorus Line says, "Kiss today goodby and Point me toward tomorrow."
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    Aug 04, 2010 2:18 PM GMT
    well, ten thousand flies can't be wrong. I think you already knew the answer but were hoping for the one guy to come out (npi) and validate your feelings. I counselled a young guy in similar situation who couldn't get over his ex so decided being a doormat was better than nothing and thereby lived in misery at the whim of his ex. Infatuation, love, whatever you call it, can be a very overpowering force in one's life but take time in the dugout and think. Do you really think that little of yourself that you don't feel worthy of a new and more positive relationship? There are tons of other guys out there who would dove tail with you and make for a good relationship. Follow your brain this time and leave the heart on the roadside, it is misguiding you. Do the math, suck it up, put on your big boy panties and move on. You are worthy, you will love again......all the best brother..
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    Aug 05, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    Thanks guys. I know I could count on your guys for advice. I think my libido will subside after sometime and not restart things that I have moved on. I seriously don't want to look pathetic, seriously who does. It's hard because I see him on campus all the time.